We’re both 26, don’t have kids and live together. I know he used to take stuff heavily when he was younger, made it out like it was all for fun but a few stories he has told me seemed more like an addiction. I know he took coke a few times at the start of our relationship, I went crazy and told him that has never been my lifestyle and I don’t really see a future with someone that does take anything like that. That was 3 years ago, I’ve caught him twice after that not too long ago but he always comes up with these big excuses and turns it around to make me feel like I’m over reacting and it’s not that big of a deal. I know loads of people our age do stuff like that at the weekend, but me and my friends have never been like that, we enjoy a drink but have never dabbled with drugs. Last year at my brothers 21st my friend told me he has white powder round his nose, when I spoke to him the next day about it he said she was lying and it must have been my makeup when I kissed him. I stupidly believed him but then went through his phone (I know that’s not right) and found a text from his friend saying he’ll drop stuff off for him. I felt disgusted that he took coke at my brothers party with all my friends and family, but I brushed it under the carpet because I didn’t want to tell him I went through his phone. Fast forward to last night, we’re out with my family for drinks and he comes back from the toilet with white around his nose. My heart sunk and I had to go outside, I couldn’t believe he would do that infront of my family and disrespect me like that. We’re saving for a mortgage so we’re back living with my mum and dad, so every penny counts right now and he’s blowing it to sniff shit up his nose. I asked him about it when drunk last night and he said it was talcum powder that was in the men’s toilet after cleaning his hands and it must have got on his face etc. I stupidly believed that and actually apologised to him, I feel so let down and weak. This morning when he was asleep his wallet was lying on the floor, I picked it up and I saw a little plastic bag with white powder hanging out one of the compartments so I looked properly and there it was. I said to him he’s got once last chance to tell me everything and he sat with a smirk on his face and acted like he had no clue was I was talking about, then said it was from another night and that it’s no big deal. I’m over reacting, it’s my fault that he’s not able to talk to me about wanting to take coke on nights out with his mates and that’s why he covers it up. I feel so disgusted that I genuinely saw a future with this guy, I’m so heartbroken and feel like the trust is gone. He said it’s not like he’s cheated on me and everyone does coke now and again, a few hours later he said sorry and that it was a mistake, I said I don’t trust him and it’s not a sincere apology. So he’s went back to sulking in the corner and keeps saying just make up your mind so I know whether to leave or not. I can’t bring myself to say the words it’s over, I don’t want it to be. I’ve worked so hard in this relationship and gave him my all but I know I don’t deserve this either. Please tell me if I’m over reacting or if I should just let him go