Boobs, pubes and porn

[Babushka111]

Ok, so I have been divorced for a while now after many years of marriage, and am now out dating.
It has come to my attention that men in this day and age (even middle aged) seem to think that all women should have bald pubes and moan like porn stars. WTF?? I really liked a chap until he insisted on biting his lip in a seedy "I'm over fifty but think I'm really hot" way and then proceeded to slap my bottom so hard I almost hit my head on the bedside table !!
Is this how it is now???
HELP !

Let's be honest, the sexiest thing is the mental connection. The games, the teasing, the build up. It's not a physical move.

It's certainly not being pounced on, pounded or held up to some porn star standards.

Taking the time to get to know each other, your likes and dislikes, and experimenting is what it's all about, for me. If I had this connection with a man, I might even be able to not giggle when faced with a bald penis.

ThriceThriceThrice
What's wrong with me? I keep coming back to look at the cat.
I think I need it as a screensaver, with your caption...

I think there is plenty that both men and women do as turn offs. Hair is really a funny one as visually I like it a lot, but up close/touching not so Much

when a man is just 100% focused on his own pleasure and giving himself mental high fives ticking off his porn sex bucket list it is such a turn off. The whole point is that you enjoy things together

Threewheeler1 -
in the words of the sensational Robin Thicke - You know you want it!

Seriously though, this is all quite worrying. I am planning on going back to the dating world after a 20 year absence in the autumn (divorce finalised hooray!) and I am a tad worried. It seems I have waxed, lip-biting, pseudo-porn stars waiting to slap my arse! Please tell me it’s not all like that.

This is all so grim. I met DH 12 years ago, had plenty of boyfriends before that, + ONS, and they would mostly be described as "grateful" and "eager to please", no complaints about any body parts, took no for an answer, didn't even mention anal...

This has all changed so quickly it's depressing.

Maybe to do with online dating as well?

The biting lip thing is the fake seduction look whereby he slightly closes his eyes, pulls his lip to one side, whilst using his teeth to hoist down that part of the mouth (kinda like a horse does when you proffer a sugar cube !!) and then makes noises similar to those of a mating cat.

Isn’t this usually something that female porn actors do? I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a man do it. If I did, I have a feeling I’d think he was having a stroke.....and not of the self pleasuring variety!!

There is the cost of all this as well. What about single women on low incomes who have to factor in waxing and going halves on dates. i cant afford waxes any more so stopped having them (leg waxes that is ive never waxed my pubes. ) I would have enough money for either a wax OR to go halves on a date but not both. Surely this expectation is not a million miles away from the expectations of the 1950s when the wife was expected to put her lippy on before hubby got home. But at least then she wasnt expected to go halves on everything. NOW there are expectations of all this waxing to pay for AND being expected to go halves on dinner. Also while womens income still hasnt caught up.

Was anyone on this thread watching The Last Leg last week Actor Joe Thomas was on there and when he was about to do a nude scene for his new film The Festival and the director said his arse was too hairy and told him to get it waxed .

Pubes should be well kept, but bald is a bit off-putting. It's OK if you are happy with that but don't feel forced to do it.
I find that porn means all men expect anal and that it can just be slipped up there with minimal fuss & lube!

Im 28 and i prefer being hairless. So does BF. He bites his lips but he doesnt do it in a weird way. I suck my bottom lip when i masterbate but not during sex for some reason. I dont put a concious effort into it.

if you are getting a whole mouthful of them, what are the hell are you sucking on??

The parts that would normally be covered in hair, clearly. We like licking and kissing and sucking and nibbling each other everywhere.

naice porn .

I remember Billy Connolly saying he trimmed his pubes and it made his "willy look like a piece of Kentucky Fried Chicken" .

Clean shaven or you might get a pube stuck in the teeth.

As a woman who enjoys oral (both giving and recieving) i would be horrified if he looked up at me after, pube in teeth 🙈 so the clean shaven approach is defo my choice. However, i deal with the little odd stray pube because frankly if he was shaven i would probably be a little sick in my mouth. I want my man to look like a man!!! Not saying i would disown him if he opted for the waxed willy look. But it wouldnt tickle my pickle the way it does now..

so if a man is kissing a woman outdoors and its a bit windy and her hair blows across their mouths mid snog im guessing she should nip into the nearest hair salon and get them to shave her head toot suite!!!

At least the head hair can be tied back.. not sure the pubic pony tail has the same effect 😂
I dont think any woman should be made to 'trim the bush' if she isnt happy about it. Each to their own i suppose

Sorry Op but this is the first picture that came to mind of when thinking of your description 😂

Lurch from the Addams family in case anyone wonders who this is !

im mid 40s and have never trimmed

Unrelated to this topic ive also never been drunk.

Who wants to be like everybody else.

This thread is making me giggle. 😂

I agree with the Monkey Mummy.

I had the most amazing sexual chemistry with a red headed man who was overweight and had a hairy chest and back. It didnt bother me one iota. The subject of pubic hair just didnt enter the conversation. Mine or his.

The expectations that seem part of dating now are the reason ive made peace with the fact that i dont have sex anymore.

What happened to the red headed man @HelenaDove ?

I'm a hairy Mary, very dark hair on my head, almost black so inevitable I've got enough for a wig down below.

I am a quarter German and my late dgm never shaved a thing in her life, not even her legs and at the grand age of 40 I'm rocking a bush and hoping I'm ahead of the crowd for when it's in again.

The rate my hair grows I would never be without a razor in my hand.
I do condition it though with Aussie 3 minute miracle, dp hates it but has no grooming routine of his own down below so isn't in a position to complain.

Ds is 15 and ridiculously hairy, i overheard him telling his best friend that he wants to go to the doctors as his penis isn't like the ones on the porn videos, he obviously thinks this is normal. Scary if teenagers think that they should look like porn stars.
It's no wonder that self esteem is so bloody low in many people.

What a load of fuss on here - shave/wax/don't do it ..whatever suits YOU ! Personally I wax now and it gives me the best pleasure in all kinds of sex ever . I like a man to be tidy down there as well but love a hairy chest . I might drop a hint of two but would never reject someone because of it . Yes I have had a man slap my arse in the throes of sex - we're not talking spanking boards here - and yes it is something at the time that I like. Never come across the biting lip in a man and yes it is normally something that women do in porn . I have watched some porn - purely to get some ideas /education as I was a long time out of the game but I pick and choose what I would do and would not do . I dont think there is anything boring with trying to spice up your sex life a little :-)

But the issue is men are now “expecting” a woman to be shaved and to do everything they have seen in porn. And, like a pp mentioned, I also have noticed men just pump away as hard as they can, without thought for the woman’s pleasure. Oh and the other one, they want to cum on your face. Fair enough to those who like it but to me it’s gross and disrespectful. All of these things make me feel like they just want me to be some sort of sex doll. I always very much enjoyed sex in the past, when a couple experimented together to find out what they both liked. Not so much now when all guys want to do is act out porn scenes and you’re made to feel like a prop!

@Storm4star

Exactly. This isn’t just pubes. It’s crappy sexual technique (banging), spitting, slapping, coming on face, hair pulling, anal and sending dick pics/pics of your vagina. Usually as a single woman they would want to know if I have a dildo, would I dress up in slutty underwear and would I do anal

I am quite sure not all men are after this and perhaps most of those ones aren’t single.... but IME when men become single, they watch a lot of porn and decide to find a willing sex doll to perform it on (not with), they don’t care about female pleasure. I’m also not having sex with anyone as I am so tired of this behaviour once I have invested some time in a man and then find out this is what he likes

Someone recently on a dating site sent me this, I’ve not met him and we were only chatting on WA

No, @Storm4star, not all men want that at all, as I and other posters have said previously.

I know it's pedantic but I hate it when men come on here and make sweeping generalisations about all women too.