Is he cheating or am I paranoid???

[Baggyb94]

Really hoping you lovely ladies can help .....

Bit of background info . Been with my OH 7 years TTC first baby.
In February I found messages on his phone to two different women . (Women one) he was asking if she wanted to be in his bed.
(Women two) He was asking if they could meet .
I asked him about these and he said it was just a joke so I let it lie

Weekend after he was messaging women 2 again . I blocked and deleted her number and blocked her on his FB only to find a few days later she had created a group on fb and was messaging him again (only them two in group) so he’d unblocked her obviously I hit the roof.

Then women 3 he got his friend to take him 14 miles away to pick her up from a night out (found messages) he was telling her he cared about her ect

Tonight . Messaged women 3 asking why they didn’t go out of town ect and then checked she’d got home

Women 4 - I called him about 1am to see where he was and he said he was walking home , i offered to pick him up and he said he was nearly home 25 mins later he got in . It’s a 10 min walk . I asked him where he’d been and he just said out , said he walked home alone .
Something didn’t seem right so I looked at his phone now he’s passed out drunk .... women 4 messaged him saying thank you for walking me home (sent at 1.34) he replied it’s ok I will always look after you .

I hadn’t heard from him since 8:30 until I called him . But he’s been messaging women 3+4 since 9pm 😡

Sorry for the long post . I am the jealous type because I’ve been cheated on before and I’m very insecure about myself. He’s promised before he won’t message these girls again but here we are again . I’ve conftinted him tonight but he’s drunk and it will cause an argument so I’ve come to sleep on the sofa . I know before I see him in the morning he will have deleted the messages and deny it all

Screen shot them messages and then send the pics to your phone.

My advice would be to stop all sexual contact with this massively entitled fucker who thinks he can have his cake, as well as 4 on the side. Tell him to pack his stuff and get out, and book an appt at your local sexual health clinic to het yourself checked out.

Sorry

Throw a bucket of water on his head and kick him out.

My first LTB! But yeah, LTB!

You're not being paranoid in the slightest, even if its not physically cheating on you (it is) he's emotionally cheating on you left, right & centre.

As PP have said, screen shot/ photo the evidence you have and kick him out first thing, I'm sure you'll be wayyyyy happier in the future with out this deadweight

Of course he's going to keep being unfaithful and message and arrange meet ups with other women. How many time does he have to throw his contempt and disregard for you in your face before you get the message? Why are you trying to bring into this world with this man. It's a car crash in slow motion. It beggers belief what you are prepared to put up with and th3 lies you will swallow to maintain your status quo.

Bring a child into this world that should read.

Just been back up to take photos and surprise surprise he’s changed his password so I used his fingerprint to unlock the phone and the messages are gone . He can be quiet nasty when he’s drunk (would never hurt me) it’s all verbal . Sometimes I’d love to kick him out but we rent from his family member and I can’t afford my own place as I have no money

Get the phone now, screenshot and send to yourself

Is there any evidence of actual cheating or just chat about it? Depends on you if the chat is enough to boot him out for

Sorry we crossposted there

Is there family you could stay with if you moved out? Just temporary while you saved up for a flat deposit maybe?

Please put the ttc on hold until this is resolved

I’m almost 100% sure he’s cheated/cheating it’s only when he’s drunk which I know is no excuse. I love him more than anything in this world. I really don’t know what to do . If I walk I’m homeless, penniless and I lose my puppy

@diamondsandrose No I have no family left he’s all I have

You need to leave my love , this is no use

You can't have a baby with him, it will get worse

No family at all? Friends? Do you work?

I have no family or friends

I work part time I’ve asked for more hours and look for a different job but no luck

Could you afford a cheap room in a house share or as a lodger while you look for work with more hours?

The money I earn pays for the upkeep of my car and then it’s all gone . I need my car for work so can’t even sell that

Please stop trying to get pregnant with this absolute shit. You deserve so much better. And by the way, just because he isn’t physically hurting you it doesn’t mean it’s ok.

I just want to pack my bags and leave 😭 I gave up everything for him . I moved 170 miles away from my home and lost all my friends

I'd rather be broke and living in a hostel than live with this dickhead.

Can you go back to your hometown?

I wish I could but I’d find it difficult to find a house there and a job as it’s a small town with next to nothing there . I left 7 years ago and not been back since

Do you have contact details for people you were close friends with there? Some of them might like hearing from you again.

Longer term it might make sense to go back there, as you know people, but at the moment it may be easier to find somewhere to stay near your work.

I’m thinking of going to see his family in a few hours as it’s 4am so no point me going to bed yet . The family member we rent off knows a little about what’s been going on and said he will be on the streets before me . Hopefully if I can keep the house I will be able to claim some sort of benifits to help with the rent while I look for more hours

When you say 'you have no family' does that mean your mother, father, siblings, aunts uncles and cousins are all dead ?

Or do you mean that you have no relationship with them. ?
If no relationship is it because of lack of contact with them and could this situation be changed or because they are all actively abusive ?

If you are under 35, and you don't have a child, you'd only be able to claim the cost of a room (up to a maximum amount for the area.

england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/housing_benefit/shared_accommodation_rate_for_under_35s

I have a sister who lives in Spain and my parents are still alive but my mum beat me up a few years ago so I’ve not spoken to them since

Thank you for the link . I may have to look into renting my 2 spare rooms out as I know there a high demand in my area