Annoying guy doesn’t seem to get the message

[PookieDo]

Guy is my tutor as I am adult learning which is why he has my contact details. Now he’s started following me on social media where I post arty type photos, and I am annoyed and awkward about it because I feel like right now he isn’t doing anything terrible, just being irritating. He likes all my photos and I don’t really want to have to go private just to get away from him (it’s not a private account... it’s not photos of myself but he knows it’s me and think he found it via my phone number?). Last week he sent me a DM about a photo I posted which I ignored. Last month he sent me a message about something I was wearing at a tutorial.

I have told him multiple times i am not interested, so now I am just ignoring him unless it’s course related. He was outrageously sexual with me when he thought I might be interested but I put a stop to that and now it’s just multiple attempts at being friendly. So nothing that bad.... am I over reacting?

I do not want to report him because I am getting close to the end of course and really just need to get through the exam - and I am concerned that if he got thrown off this course as tutor it would really affect mine and my fellow students progress and be a complete mess. We had a rocky start with tutors and just want to finish. I also do worry he’s going to pass my work because he thinks I will shag him

In summary, annoying guy seems to have no self awareness and is pissing off woman trying to learn something.

I am considering reporting him once I have passed the exam. Is this cowardly?

Have just read this. Well done you OP. I too was reading this with my jaw hanging open. Revolting.

Some men are totally deluded. Sadly this type of behaviour is very common. So much so it seems pretty normal going through this type of thing as a woman. There are so many women who would not have the courage to take this further.

Please try and not give this "man" any more of your headspace. He does not deserve any more of your time.

Enjoy your date tonight

Why is it so common? I just don’t understand! Is this some kind of sexual sociopath

He's clearly an opportunist. The picture you paint isn't of an overly attractive man. Maybe he believes his position puts him in a position of authority (I don't believe a college tutor is prestigious or particularly important, but some might).

Bottom line is he's a creep and he can kiss goodbye to a positive reference now from his former employer.

He isn’t that visually on the surface hideous. He is tall and dark, dressed well and seems confident. But his personality gives him away as horrid. His type isn’t my type anyway (I love a nice sturdy dad bod). I assume he only has trouble keeping women interested or getting to the next step so was trying to build some common ground with me with the very obvious sole intention to shag me

I don't know why it's so common. There have been lots of threads on here about women experiencing sexual harassment from hitting puberty onwards. You just have to read them to know how widespread it is and how women accept it as par for the course.

When I was late teens I didn't stand up for myself and just expected it or shrugged it off.

Luckily I'm (much) older now and more confident. Although approx 3 years ago a much older man squeezed my breast right in front of my husband and I laughed it off. Retrospectively I should've slapped him and given him what for however as women we are expected to be pleasers and meek as has been conditioned into us.

For all the women who has stood up to this man like you did there will be many many more who haven't and he's pushed and pushed them. Men like that won't change, they feel entitled to do that to women to get their own way.

Gross, well done for reporting him. Your messages were very blunt and to the point and he just kept charging through. He reminds me of a man who was running a 'Improve your CV' course I took, I turned up and I was the only one there. He sat next to me while he helped me on the computer and just stared intently at me the whole time with this weird smile on his face. Then at the end I said "Thanks for your help, bye" and he was sweating profusely. Later on he sent me sexual messages saying "You have come to bed eyes" etc.. Thankfully I could block and ignore as it was only one session. A few weeks later he asked me to do a reccommendation on linkedin

Creep update: the company have offered to pay the cost of a non mol order and would like me to do that it shows up on his CRB

Weirdly I met his manager today and we look very alike. She said that he was over friendly with her but she very firmly put him in his place. So she’s not shocked

I think they are withholding salary to get him in a meeting to confront him about more things

Oooooh!!
🤢

Blurgh!!!

pookie! do not for a second blame yourself. you did not cause this

Def do that!

What an absolute creep! Well done for reporting him.

Well done OP, you've handled this really admirably. The guy is an absolute knob and I think the non mol order is a really good idea, it offers a level of protection for yourself and for others should it show on his CRB checks.

Problem I have now is how do I do one... company said it was my choice and I don’t know where to start! I called my employee assistance programme tonight and they told me to talk to HR. At this rate everyone is going to know about it!

Didn’t get chance to say earlier BUT:
Some stuff was explained about his last crazy email... he did not get fired as he probably worked out what was going to happen and resigned first, then now is being slippery about meeting with his HR dept and MD. I was told by someone else he was fired but that was not true I think that is what was assumed until confirmed today. So it turns out he’s evading even being confronted about what has happened to me because he’s resigned and never been back. My doppelgänger (although she’s much prettier than me!) said they now trying to get him in for the rest of it and it’s all come out by her investigations sofar that all the pupils she has seen have complained about him being a crap tutor anyway. Distracted, bored, negative and always on his phone.

I told her she should go take a look at his social media if she wants to see what he is up to all day! Ie nothing!

So he still might wreak his revenge on me yet because he doesn’t actually know fully what has gone on.

Well done on this , impressive.

Well done, you’ve been very brave.

Sadly I suspect he thinks he’s got away with it as he’s resigned not been fired and no one has held him to account.

I know these things take time but have you heard anything else about this?