Husband of 15 years becoming really smutty

[dontbesillyhenry]

I've started to notice he's becoming more smutty that usual laughing at more smut and watching more puerile tv programmes. I've tried telling him I'm shocked and he seems to have really changed yet he starts getting aggressive and pulling faces at me telling me I'm controlling. It's not the kind of man I want to be with yet he tries to make me feel unreasonable any ideas please

You mentioned in your OP that you've just started to notice these changes. This may fit with the timing since the clear scan.

You need to contact his consultant. If it’s not related-great. But it is a symptom and I’m sure they would suggest seeing him. Tumors grow fast. Dementia is awful. If it were my DH, I would want to rule them out

You absolutely need to get him seen ASAP - inappropriate sexual comment/behaviour is a big red flag warning sign for various types of brain injury/disease. Then I read your update re: past tumour.

It’s really important you talk to his consultant. Whether that last scan was clear or not, something seems to be happening. It could be a number of things - vascular issues for example tend to happen in a way that’s ‘jerky’ - an event, then ok, then another... etc etc.

Please talk to his doctor - he may not want to go in by himself but if his doc recalls him he may go. Best of luck.

There’s really only two options though isn’t there?

1. He’s decided that farts, willies and bums are funny, and you deal with the change in his sense of humour.

OR

1. This is a brain-related (frontal lobe) development in the course of his brain tumour, normal scans a month ago or not.

TBH, as a medical professional, your first post was screaming brain tumour to me, before you’d even updated about his medical history.

What’s the harm in making contact and getting him checked?

Well when my dp started watching different programmes, laughing at things he hadn't previously found funny, developing different interests, he was having an affair.

She was a bit younger and watched all that sort of stuff.

It might also explain the short temper when challenged.

Really odd thread, OP.

Three explanations as far as I can see:

1. medical condition. I'm not a medical professional and my first thought was brain tumour too given what I know of it and personal experience.

2. he genuinely likes this humour and probably always has done.

3. affair with someone younger and this is an attempt to participate in 'youth' humour.

What explanation were you hoping to hear?

www.ucl.ac.uk/news/news-articles/1115/101115-change-humour-sign-dementia

There wasn't any behavioural change when he had his brain tumour.' If it wasn't for the headaches goodness knows how much longer it would have gone undiscovered

Maybe he's decided to have a laugh for once in his life after spending 15 years with a stiff upper lip.

You seem irritated with the responses here . Had you anticipated the thread going differently ?
What sort of replies were you expecting ?
His risk of dementia or tumour is higher than the norm, recent scan or not and you're completely dismissing the possibility.

His tumour was a very slow growing benign tumour which doctors predicted had been growing for at least five years when found. The likelihood of him having a relapse causing a behaviour change within a month is very slim. I'm trying to be realistic against people insisting it's a brain tumour

It’s possible the cause isn’t directly tumour related but he needs to see a doc urgently. Small vascular incidents for example.

Disinhibition of sexual behaviour whether physical or verbal is a possible warning sign of various dementias

What do you think is the most likely cause op?

That he always enjoyed that sort of stuff but pretended he didn't, that he's talking to new people who are influencing him or that there might be something wrong medically?

It wouldn't hurt to mention his change in personality at his next appointment.

Do you have any theories on what could be behind it? Has anything else changed recently? It might simply be that he never paid any attention to shitty shows like Celebrity Juice then one day he watched and got hooked?

When they scan, do they scan the entire brain or just the site where the tumour was? I don't know anything about that stuff, but I'd assume the whole brain gets checked?

Did you want everyone to just say, "God, he sounds a right twat!"

Is the fact that people are showing concern for him irritating you.

Because you're giving nothing and I'm not really sure what it is you're asking/looking for from this thread.

The person I know has a very slow growing, benign brain tumour.

Their change in personality happened when it unexpectedly grew some slow growing, benign satellite cysts.

Op I’ve been lurking here and not commented. As HCPs in here gave suggested, you really really ought to consult his medical team.

You’re hopefully right and it’s not medically, or at least brain related. But...reading the OP I too immediately thought some sort of developing brain injury. It is unlikely, but given his history absolutely worth contacting about.

A pp mentioned that it may not be the original tumor regrowing, it may be another growth. It could also be something else also neurological in origin.

Please just call them for advice if nothing else. They are experts and call tell you if they feel the symptoms are of potential significance