Husband of 15 years becoming really smutty

[dontbesillyhenry]

I've started to notice he's becoming more smutty that usual laughing at more smut and watching more puerile tv programmes. I've tried telling him I'm shocked and he seems to have really changed yet he starts getting aggressive and pulling faces at me telling me I'm controlling. It's not the kind of man I want to be with yet he tries to make me feel unreasonable any ideas please

Ffs he had a scan last month why is everyone so insistent I'm neglecting a massive issue?

Everyone isn't. But you don't seem to like the other suggestions.

Sorry but I thought medical condition too. My friends Dad had a type of dementia and him losing his inhibitions was an early symptom. In your shoes I would start to think about whether it's a sudden change as opposed to something that's only recently started to annoy me.

If he starts finding Mrs Brown's Boys funny then there's definitely something seriously wrong with him.

As you're so convinced it's not a medical issue, what do you think the problem is OP?

Perhaps we are concerned because some of us are medical professionals who have experience of patients relapsing quickly and unexpectedly. But were trying to phrase it gently so as not to freak you out?
Things can change fast, OP, and this is a red flag.

To be fair to the op

Op. My husband laughs at smut when he didn't used to
MN, He must be demented

Did make me laugh as well, I do get the seriousness of it, but I also get why she laughed.

My first thought was brain tumour (because I worked with someone whose character changed after hers grew).

What bluetrews said. Ex nurse here, he could have had a Tia since the scan.

Has he started laughing at Mrs Brown’s Boys? If he has, I think he needs help

ffs he had a scan last month why is everyone so insistent I'm neglecting a massive issue?

Erm, because you seem reluctant to consider there may be a medical reason for his behaviour change. It's frustrating to read your only concern is that you may be seen to be neglecting an issue; my main concern would be to make sure my DH saw a medic ASAP.

dontbesillyhenry Sun 22-Jul-18 18:25:11
Ffs he had a scan last month why is everyone so insistent I'm neglecting a massive issue?

Brain tumours grow quickly and when a tumor grows into or presses on an area of the brain, it may stop that part of the brain from working the way it should. What you describe in your OP is a classic symptom.

Considering your DH has had a brain tumour in the past, you would be very foolish indeed to ignore this development.

OP: “any ideas please?”
Everyone: “See a doctor ASAP sounds like dementia/brain tumour
OP: Ffs not that idea.

Then says he has history of a brain tumour

Oh fgs people he had a scan LAST MONTH like I clearly stated. Clearly the doctors are ignoring this relapse as well then 🙄

My boyfriend’s mother got dementia in her 50s and started sounding like that guy off the Fast Show who swears a lot. “Arse” and “bumhole” being her favourite words after which she’d laugh and laugh.

I’m not saying that is what is happening to your husband but if it is out of character, something may be wrong.

There are lots of medical conditions that affect behaviour.

Yes, including brain tumours.

Whoops—didn't RTFT before posting.

Yeah cos no-one in the medical profession ever got anything wrong.

Wanna tell that to my autoimmune inflammatory arthritis that took 14 years to diagnose?!

Oh fgs people he had a scan LAST MONTH like I clearly stated. Clearly the doctors are ignoring this relapse as well then

They CAN make mistakes.

My mum ended up in hospital a few years ago, and barely made it. All because a consultant didn't see something on a scan from 3 months before, that the A&E staff said was clearly present on that very same scan.

I can still recall the consultant being so dismissive of mum and ignoring her concerns. I'd gone as she wanted someone with her. Then she collapsed over Xmas and went to hospital.

Please, OP, get your DH to the doctors and explain fully the change in character.

Working in dementia care for 10yrs i am usually the last person to suggest it on here. It gets trotted out for the most ridiculous things.

But having seen a highly educated professional academic go from a gentle caring man to shouting about willies, making purile jokes, talking about very rude stuff as if it was hysterical and laughing hysterically at it over and over i would be very concerned in such a sudden change in someone's idea of 'funny'.
I will never forget that poor man and his family. He had to go into care due to his aggression with anyone who didnt appreciate his new humour including his wife. He would shout the most awful obsenities usually willie related
when we were attending to his care needs his self care went downhill fast too it was very sad and quite a rapid transformation. All due to a small tia which led to others in one area of his brain.

Hope its not obviously.

I've asked him to see the doctor. He has refused. Says there's nothing wrong with him

Well he's not qualified to judge that I presume.

Did he think anything was wrong before when he was diagnosed?

I've asked him to see the doctor. He has refused. Says there's nothing wrong with him

...but he's not recognising the changes he appears to be going through - hence having a go at/blaming you

You're noticing a difference, you may need to act on his behalf