I’ve name changed for this as its outing!
I’ll try not to drip feed so it may be long 
but my partner is feeling very upset and would like some advice.
It’s a long complicated story but basically he lost his wife early last year, I’ve known them for a long time but lived in a different country, my ex husband also left me last year, and we then got together (nothing happened between us before this, there was no crossover)
His inlaws have always been controlling and they were always the peace keepers and avoided confrontation, and would try and do the right thing, and my partner is still like this. He wants what is best for his child and wants to keep contact for her.
He would never stop them seeing her (so long as she is happy) and unless we already have something on, would let them see her.
His SIL and FIL are being ok at the moment thankfully so they are having regular contact and are being civil (arranged by text though after an incident by them being threatening to him) he finds it difficult but accepts he wants it for his child so long as they aren’t affected.
His MIL always has been flaky and in and out, and her husband is an alcoholic, and can be temperamental with his texts.
DP has been civil throughout it, and doesn’t like the controlling behaviour but keeps things civil for the sake of his child. It’s been a special date recently so we did a cake, and have flowers and a card up in the house, and this weekend will take flowers up to the churchyard, we’ve talked a lot about it and shared memories (which we do anyway).
My partner had a text from step FIL asking if he had taken flowers up, and then one shortly after (within minutes) saying or was that too difficult a question 
and not in a nice way!
He replied saying what does that mean? And got an equally passive aggressive response, so just said we are doing our own thing. Got a reply saying well as long as it’s sorted. Nothing asking how they are doing or anything!
He has tried phoning them and texting them to arrange contact, gets no response then gets abusive phone calls from step FIL saying you need to call MIL, even though he has and doesn’t get a response.
He’s feeling really hurt tonight with the message and implying he doesn’t care when he does care deeply.
He’s worried he isn’t doing enough when what else can he do when he’s already called and text numerous times.
I don’t know what else he can do? He stood up to them more than usual tonight though and just didn’t respond like he normally would, just said we are doing our own thing rather than justify himself.