Husband wants to drive us to beach 1.5hrs with 6 year old son not wearing a seatbelt

[Santosc09]

Hi mum's,

Am I being ridiculous to be freaking out? Husband wants to drive us to the beach tomorrow 1.5 hrs all good there's 2 spare seats in our car and another friend has his car full with his family. My husband has invited 3 friends onto our car and says they'll carry our son on our lap.

I freaked out and said are you hugs no way are we risking our sons live to take another person. We can only take 2. He's angry and says I'm being over the top that it's only an hour drive and that I'm being mean to the extra person.

I said well that's all good but it's 1.5 hrs not that it matters and if there was an accident my son would be the one flying through the window and wtf is he thinking risking our sons safety for the sake of bringing an additional friend.

He said fuck it were not going anywhere and is now angry that I'm being complicated.

I'm 37 wks pregnant am I being ridiculous and my hormones are getting the better of me or am I right?

Wearing seatbelts likely won't stop your children from being killed or seriously injured if there is a bad accident, which is not unusual.

Seatbelts demonstrably do prevent people being injured and killed in car crashes.

When Princess Diana died the only occupant in the car who was wearing a seat belt was the only occupant who survived, as far as I am aware.

I think it's 1 in every 100,000 accidents a seat belt caused the persons death
I'd rather not take the chance with my children's lives

In 1970 there were approximately 19 million cars in the UK and 7,500 deaths out of 356,000 reported accidents.

In 2016 there were approximately 31 million cars in the UK and and 1,792 deaths out of 179,592 reported accidents.

Perhaps seatbelts had something to do with those figures.

Is being in a car a risk? Yes. But wearing seatbelts mitigates that risk. As does not driving with a child sat on another passenger's lap.

So why does everyone think it's totally fine to have children (and ourselves) in the car all the time, going on completely unnecessary trips?

So if we take any risk we might as well take all risk? Well let's drive drunk then.

We did it in the 70s.

Let's stop using sun creme we did it in the 70s and if you're going to risk the sun by going outside you might as well just not use any sun creme.

WTAF?! And now he is angry with you?
Does he often prioritise his friends over his family?
Does he often get angry when you disagree with him?
Is he generally this much of a dick about other things?

Wearing seatbelts likely won't stop your children from being killed or seriously injured if there is a bad accident, which is not unusual.

Seatbelts demonstrably do prevent people being injured and killed in car crash.

Yes seat belts do help stop people from being seriously injured.
I was in a car that rolled down a ravine. All 3 of us were wearing seat belts and we all crawled out of the car without a scratch.....the car however was a write-off.

Please wear a seat belt.

It's illegal, therefore he would be daft to try it. The plod take a very dim view to this type of thing.

WTAF?! And now he is angry with you?
Does he often prioritise his friends over his family?

I also wonder what kind of adult would prioritise a trip to the beach over a child’s safety.

If you’d invited my DH or me and we discovered those proposed seating arrangements we would refuse to get in the car.

It’s illegal for a reason.

I’m also confused. Given your child is of an age where they could fit on someone’s lap then it would seem that legally they need to be an age appropriate car seat let alone a seatbelt.

Sorry, but for you to have to even ask the question is really weird.

Meant age appropriate child seat in the car.

The only time I ever did this was to help a woman out whose child, no more than 18 months old, was able to get themselves out of the pushchair. I was driving along an A road (40mph) and feared for a child’s safety. The mother also had an older child of about 4 and was walking home. I saw her grabbing the toddler and strapping them back in. It was raining. The little one was soaked. I turned round to ask if they wanted help and bundled them in the car and took them 1.5 miles home. My dd went directly on the back on the back seat. The older child in the booster and the baby on her lap. I drove very very slowly and carefully. Imo this probably would have been classed as an emergency situation had I been stopped by the police. I didn’t think of insurance tbh. I was too busy thinking about not letting the littlie get run over.

Your husband is stupid. The only time it is ok to be in a car with no seatbelt on is if the car were manufactured with no seatbelt. It would be awfully old. Pre 1980’s.

i.stuff.co.nz/motoring/news/94979553/big-increase-in-noseatbelt-road-deaths-are-safety-messages-failing-to-click

This is what happens when people get complacent about seatbelt use. People die. Your husband is an idiot.

Lemme tell you right now this is bang out of order; he knows it.

Your husband is being a complete wankycunt!!! Is he 14? You are a million times in the right - plus it's illegal (for good reason) - urgh what a twat

Danniz. There is risk in may things we do, common sense tells you to minimise that risk.

I think you need to look up some stats about seatbelts and car seats. They make a huge difference should there be an accident.

Life is to be lived, so an "unnecessary" trip to a beach to have fun isn't a bad thing. Taking risks with your child's life is.

No your husband is being an idiot either don't take the extra friend or don't go.

He is completely in the wrong. Do not allow this to happen. Does he have form for being an idiot?

You are absolutely right to be upset and to put your foot down. Besides it being illegal, have you ever packed the car full for a long drive with adults and kids? It’s fucking miserable. My dh has a similar hang up about shoving as many people as possible into the car so they don’t have to drive (kids are always in car seats and with seat belts though!), but it’s miserable, no one is comfortable. I doubt his friends really want a chatty, heavy 6 year old on their laps anyway. Why can’t they just drive themselves like normal people would in this instance?

I seem to have wandered in to 1978.

I had a child car seat in 1978.... just saying

The fact that your son is to sit on a knee suggests that not only is he not wearing a seat belt but that the car is overloaded with passengers, also illegal?

Why does his mates life trump his sons. He is a total arsehole and knows it and us projecting his anger at you because he is embarrassed he will have to knock back a mate so will blame you for calling it off.

And you married him and have 2 children with him because...?

I'm surprised you are having to ask op. For future reference, pregnancy doesn't make women less able to know their own minds or less intelligent.

Do you really believe that hormones make women's views and opinions less valid?