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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Husband wants to drive us to beach 1.5hrs with 6 year old son not wearing a seatbelt

84 replies

Santosc09 · 13/07/2018 23:37

Hi mum's,

Am I being ridiculous to be freaking out? Husband wants to drive us to the beach tomorrow 1.5 hrs all good there's 2 spare seats in our car and another friend has his car full with his family. My husband has invited 3 friends onto our car and says they'll carry our son on our lap.

I freaked out and said are you hugs no way are we risking our sons live to take another person. We can only take 2. He's angry and says I'm being over the top that it's only an hour drive and that I'm being mean to the extra person.

I said well that's all good but it's 1.5 hrs not that it matters and if there was an accident my son would be the one flying through the window and wtf is he thinking risking our sons safety for the sake of bringing an additional friend.

He said fuck it were not going anywhere and is now angry that I'm being complicated.

I'm 37 wks pregnant am I being ridiculous and my hormones are getting the better of me or am I right?

OP posts:
NickMyLipple · 13/07/2018 23:38

Thats ridiculous and illegal.

WoodenCat · 13/07/2018 23:38

Your husband is a dick. You must not let this happen.

olympicsrock · 13/07/2018 23:38

No way not reasonable. This would be illegal and would put your son at risk.

QforCucumber · 13/07/2018 23:38

It's illegal of course you're correct

sproutsandparsnips · 13/07/2018 23:38

OP YANBU

Bananamanfan · 13/07/2018 23:39

You are totally right. Don't go. It's illegal.

RhinoGirl · 13/07/2018 23:39

You’re not ridiculous at all! Your sons safety is far more important. Imagine if the police pulled you over!

Amalfimamma · 13/07/2018 23:39

YANBU, your dh is being a cf, and the law confirms it.

Tell him to stay at home, and you and ds go to the beach.

PickAChew · 13/07/2018 23:40

He's an idiot.

ineedaholidaynow · 13/07/2018 23:40

You don't drive 5 minutes never mind 1.5 hours with a child on your lap

LovingLola · 13/07/2018 23:40

Your husband is a fucking gobshite.

HollowTalk · 13/07/2018 23:41

I can imagine a lot worse than the police pulling them over. Is your husband a complete idiot, OP?

Bumdishcloths · 13/07/2018 23:41

He's a twat.

Beechview · 13/07/2018 23:42

Does your husband know the law?

gamerchick · 13/07/2018 23:42

He's being a cock. It's dangerous and illegal and he would be in a fair bit of trouble is caught and no way would you enjoy yourself knowing the risk of there was an accident.

I would stay home with the bairn but maybe that's what he's angling for?

Sharkwithknees · 13/07/2018 23:42

He's being ridiculous. I live 5 minutes from the beach and sometimes too laid back but I wouldn't even drive to my local beach with this arrangement!

gamerchick · 13/07/2018 23:43

Fuxache 'if'

Hidingtonothing · 13/07/2018 23:49

Plenty of (horrific) videos online about what can happen in a car crash when a passenger is unrestrained. It's not just DS who would be at risk (although of course just him is more than enough!) as he would basically become a projectile in an accident. DH is being an irresponsible idiot OP, stand your ground (and show him those videos).

Mollywobbles82 · 13/07/2018 23:50

If your son is young enough to sit on someone's lap is he not required to be in a car seat of some kind?

Am I reading correctly that you are the driver? Because would it not be you / your license that would be held responsible in the event that the police pulled you over?

I am honestly staggered that your dh would think this acceptable! Is he from another culture that looks more favourably on ignoring the rules of the road?

maxthemartian · 13/07/2018 23:51

Is he completely insane??
It's illegal. For the very excellent reason that your child would be flung from the car and killed in the event of an accident.

BunsOfAnarchy · 13/07/2018 23:56

Its illegal.

Also it takes a split second for an accident to happen. Doesnt matter how long you're on the road for.

Tell your OH he can hit the roof all he likes. You're putting your foot down.

Dont ever EVER put a child at risk like that.

dirtybadger · 13/07/2018 23:58

One of my relatives was killed in a car crash as a result of someone not wearing their seat belt.

Nope!!! Angry

Furx · 14/07/2018 00:01

There was a case near where my DH used to live. someone did this for a 200yard drive.

Grandma holding kid on their lap.
Driver lost control,and veered off. Hit a wall.
The impact somehow threw the child forward then violently back again, killing grandma. Kid survived.

200yards.

There is no was I’d consider being even a passenger with an unsecured child. Never mind holding the kid. Way too dangerous. Refuse to get in the car.

Cawfee · 14/07/2018 00:02

A good friend of mine was involved in a car crash. She was wearing a seatbelt and survived. One of the passengers wasn’t wearing a seatbelt and he died. He was a teenager. It’s not worth the risk. Your husband is a dickhead. Plus it’s illegal...

Cornishclio · 14/07/2018 00:10

He is crazy. Your son needs to be in a car seat.