I am invisible to my husband.

[caffeinedrip]

I have been married to my husband for 6 years now. I am from Sydney and he is from Georgia and we met because we both used to work for the same company, and he came to Sydney for a work trip. This led to that, I went to Georgia, he came to Sydney, bada bing, bada bang he moved to Sydney to be with me in 2011. The reason he moved over here rather than me moving over there is because I have a son with a previous partner and can’t leave the country with him.
Anyway, we had a child together in April of 2012 and not long after that, our sex life started to suffer. Then we moved into our new house and I honestly can’t remember ever having sex to completion since moving here in 2013. Then he started rejecting me altogether. No sex, no affection, nothing. Now there is no affection, we are sleeping in separate beds and I have been trying for years to get him to talk to me, but he is refusing to. At one point, he went behind my back for 10+ months with his ex-girlfriend in Arizona and had an emotional affair...while I was begging him for attention and affection - and sitting by his side and holding his hand when he was sick in hospital. He doesn’t look at me or touch me, unless it’s to peck me on the lips to say goodbye. I don’t know what to do. How do I leave without even really talking to him? I don’t understand what I did wrong to deserve this.

I can understand the need to have a conversation with H caffeinedrip and I hope it gives you some sort of closure. I had many conversations with my XH over the years, sometimes he said good stuff (I'm sorry for causing you pain, etc) and sometimes it wasn't good (you're overreacting, it's all in your head) but at the end of the day, it was all blah, blah. When you start divorce proceedings you will hear all sorts of interesting stuff from your H, so you need to get it straight in your head the direction you are taking. Good luck!

@lovemistymornings Thank you for understanding! I actually believe that once we have separated and are living in different places he will feel able to be more open to me about what happened. Our relationship cannot be repaired and I've known that for a long time now, but it would just be nice to know where it went wrong. It was like he was there one day and gone the next.
I'm expecting to hear all kinds of horrible things about myself once we get into the divorce and everything, because the same thing happened when I left my eldest's father. It's amazing how people that you once loved and trusted can just turn around and become so spiteful and nasty. I am not looking forward to it x

Maybe, but don't bank on it. You might think you can have a nice reasonable chat but you would be very lucky if he moves out and you have a nice open friendship. And yes, expect the worse once your divorce starts - if it goes smoothly then it will be a bonus!

Hi Caffine

Hope you and your DS are doing ok x