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Original poster

He paid her off

88 replies

foolinlove · 30/06/2018 18:47

I discussed my WH's affair six months ago. I stayed for the DC and he assured me he ended it with the other woman on D-day. Now I have discovered that he paid her off a six figure sum. I can't trust him. Is leaving the only option?

OP posts:
DollyDayScream · 30/06/2018 18:49

A six figure sum?!!!

Sounds like you'd get a good divorce!

What possible reason is there to stay?!

SandyY2K · 30/06/2018 18:50

He paid her off? To leave him alone or something?

Yeah...that would definetly be the end for me. Using family money on his bit on the side.

How did you find out?

Popchyk · 30/06/2018 19:01

Does he have a child with her/is she pregnant?

Is the six figure sum supposed to a one-off child support payment?

I think you need to see a solicitor. Could be he intends to divorce you and is getting rid of his money (which he intends to get back from her after the divorce).

NotASingleFuckToGive · 30/06/2018 20:02

As PP'S have already mentioned, there's only three real options really:

  1. He's squirrelling away his assets as he intends to minimise your potential divorce pay out,
  1. There's a baby on the way.
Why else would he need to pay her to remain in the background, since the cat was already out of the bag with his DW anyway?
  1. She has some really, really sensitive information about him which would seriously affect his life if it were to be made public knowledge.
Racecardriver · 30/06/2018 20:03

Divorce. Argue that the six figure sum was his attempt to conceal assets.

ThePeasantsAreAtTheGates · 30/06/2018 20:09

£100,000+?!

Alfiemoon1 · 30/06/2018 20:33

How did u find out why has he given her money ? To keep quiet or something?

MyKingdomForBrie · 30/06/2018 20:35

I need me a sugar daddy.. just don't tell my DH!

If this really happened then you need to divorce the idiot and make sure the split takes into account his recent 'spending'..

Original poster
foolinlove · 30/06/2018 20:36

He downplayed the affair and she threatened him to tell me the truth.

OP posts:
LIZS · 30/06/2018 20:38

So she now has the upper hand. Likely she will come back for more, assuming he is loaded. You need to get away from such a disrespectful, selfish man.

WaffleFroggy · 30/06/2018 20:45

Leave. You say you are staying for the DC - I'm sorry but how does it benefit them to be living with a man who has spent money which should be spent on them on his MISTRESS?! The mind boggles.

Gemini69 · 30/06/2018 21:36

he did what ??? why would he do that Shock

Snappedandfarted2018 · 30/06/2018 21:38

Op he is clearly hiding something

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 30/06/2018 23:37

How did you find out that he'd given her a 6 figure sum?

Itchyknees · 30/06/2018 23:39

Is he a premiership footballer?

TheseThingsMatter · 30/06/2018 23:53

Did she sign some kind of agreement in exchange for the money? Were there lawyers involved? is there a baby, a soon to be baby or termination?

TheseThingsMatter · 30/06/2018 23:54

Oh one more question - did she work for him?

Zoflorabore · 30/06/2018 23:57

And you're still there? Wow.

Proves that money doesn't buy happiness.

She must have some serious dirt on him.

eightfacesofthemoon · 01/07/2018 01:38

Really!!

GardenGeek · 01/07/2018 02:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GardenGeek · 01/07/2018 02:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoNotaWendy · 01/07/2018 02:11

wow. I reckon baby on the way? That is insane.

Original poster
foolinlove · 01/07/2018 10:41

I opened his post and confronted him - he had maxed out credit cards and taken out a bank loan to do this. He claims he feels 'bad' he broke her heart. I haven't kicked him out yet. What do I do?

OP posts:
thricethebrindledcat · 01/07/2018 10:43

Er, you kick him out, OP.

iklboo · 01/07/2018 10:49

Kick him out. Make sure the loan is in his name only and you're not jointly liable.