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Original poster

He paid her off

88 replies

foolinlove · 30/06/2018 18:47

I discussed my WH's affair six months ago. I stayed for the DC and he assured me he ended it with the other woman on D-day. Now I have discovered that he paid her off a six figure sum. I can't trust him. Is leaving the only option?

OP posts:
Itchyknees · 01/07/2018 18:40

I’d find the OW and make her your very best friend and find out what she has on him if you can. Sure as shit it’s massive.

rollingonariver · 01/07/2018 18:47

You need to leave. He's really shown his true colours, this is disgusting and manipulative to her and you.

TheseThingsMatter · 01/07/2018 18:52

He's an idiot for not getting her to sign some kind of agreement that this payment is all she gets in exchange for whatever it is he is buying her off for. She can return to the money well over and over and over now.

Grammarist · 01/07/2018 18:56

WTF? You need him out of your life.

eightfacesofthemoon · 01/07/2018 20:04

Can you send his address. Seems like a good person to have a bit on the side with if you’d get 100k out of it.

I say this as a sort of joke. But this is beyond not normal

Limpopobongo · 01/07/2018 22:03

This is bizarre. DP had an afair and now its ended? So what financial obligation is there to having an affair? Sweet FA as far as i can see, so why has he paid this woman money?

Has he got a secret child by her?

If not, does she have some hold over him and she is blackmailing him? Is she a secret escort "girlfriend" who he has been keeping?

There is more to this than you know OP.

IsaidMrDarcynotArsey · 02/07/2018 00:01

Pregnant/child, hiding funds pre divorce, extortion/blackmail? Would be the options on the top of my wtf list.

Limpopobongo · 02/07/2018 00:22

I knew a man who had a reputation for shagging around. He even kept a woman in a house and gave her money for its upkeep. His long suffering wife didnt deserve it. She was a lovely woman and very attractive. She should have ditched him years ago as he is just a boring twat and i have no idea how the women fall for him. I presume he bores his way into their knickers and they just submitted to him.

Redbus1030 · 02/07/2018 09:09

This reply has been deleted

The OP has now deregistered, as they have privacy concerns. We have agreed to take this down at their request.

Original poster
foolinlove · 02/07/2018 18:56

Thank you all Flowers

OP posts:
Snowysky20009 · 02/07/2018 19:25

Sorry OP but there's more to this. I

Snowysky20009 · 02/07/2018 19:25

I'm guessing baby

Original poster
foolinlove · 03/07/2018 09:25

He has admitted a second affair.

OP posts:
Snappedandfarted2018 · 03/07/2018 09:31

With a different woman? Op honestly why are you still with him?

Alfiemoon1 · 03/07/2018 11:10

Geez. With a different woman? Is this the one he paid to keep quiet

LIZS · 03/07/2018 11:11

Sorry but there will be more to come.

Churrolicious · 03/07/2018 11:24

So sorry to read your update OP. What’re you going to do now?

Original poster
foolinlove · 03/07/2018 12:56

Yes, with another woman for years before the affair I knew about. I am devastated and have asked for him to go to a hotel for a few days whilst I clear my head. I know there is more to the story but it's already painful enough.

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 03/07/2018 12:59

I'm so sorry OP.
Getting some headspace is exactly what you need.
Do you have a friend or family member you can confide in?
Someone who is not judgey and who will listen and understand no matter you do in the near future?

RiddleyW · 03/07/2018 13:14

Pregnant/child, hiding funds pre divorce, extortion/blackmail?

It must be one of these I think.

Snowysky20009 · 03/07/2018 13:19

I'm sorry OP. There's no turning back from this. How come he admitted it?

isthismylifenow · 03/07/2018 13:42

OP, are the credit cards and bank loan in his sole name??

You need legal advise. Urgently.

And no, you cannot stay with this man. And you can use this information against him. Do you have copies of the statements?

Get all your paperwork together whilst he is out of the house. I know this is a lot to take in, but you need to use this time to go through paperwork, statements and see what else you can find. And dont contact him.

Do you have children? How long have you been married?

I am sorry. He is a complete bastard.

Happytea · 03/07/2018 13:46

She is pregnant, they engaged in sexual acts caught on tape or she is actually a he.

notapizzaeater · 03/07/2018 13:54

Was any of the debt in your names ? He's covering something up ? Is there a child ?

Slightlyjaded · 03/07/2018 14:03

I think baby too.

I have recently found out that a very good friend of mine who i have known since we were 12 (we are now 42) has a six year old child living in Germany. His wife found out and kicked him out six months ago, and he has left the family home and his four children behind.

Prior to the discover, he offered the child's mother 'hush money'.

Vile.

So that is why it's my first instinct.

As to what I would do? I would DEMAND the money back. Half of it is yours. Seriously. You are married - this is YOUR money.

Then i would kick his lying arse out and prepare myself for a lot of skeletons to fall out of the closet.

I'm sorry this is happening to you.

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