Dating Thread 135 - Will Harry Ever Meet Sally?

[Kinunir]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Are we allowed to post a user name for others to be cautious about?

Just a guy I met in pof - turned out he's got a kid on the way and he's used the same line on women and seems to have a little trail going 😬😬😬

Just on the Tinder Gold thing, I signed up in March. I"m "over 28" and male so would appear to be in the "most highly discriminated against" category, and paid £76 for a full year, which seemed pretty reasonable at around £6 a month.

@Lovemusic33 I don't mind traveling to a point but with babysitters it's harder. I live close enough to a tourist place as well to bugger up my matches!
Still debating sex toy guy and stand up guy tonight. Swaying towards sex toy guy at the minute as other than that I think he might be ok. And I've resisted telling him it would be like a toothpick in a bucket after his picture 😂 but that's a way off anyway.

I paid extra for bumble so I could see who had matched me first so I didn't waste my time matching people who didn't match me if that makes sense

I'm not sure anything will come of it

guardian soulmates (which I'm not on this time, can only manage one site at a time) I still think is the best as you can see all the profiles on there, you're not just seeing people who match you

Pink, yes, I’m in touristy area, last summer I met up wit a lovely man on tinder who was here in holiday, lovely date but a total waste of time as he lived miles away. Go out with Mr Sex toy but maybe make it clear that there was need to send you a photo of his toy . I have been out with several people like him just to fill my time, if your looking for a bit of fun then go for it (I didn’t date the butt plug guy though).

catchup I don't see why not but just remember if he googles it and sees it on here and realises it was you (if there's any way he could connect your mumsnet name to your dating profile) it might be a bit awkward for you!

I think it’s ok to name and shame if it is someone who is lying about being single or someone who is potentially dangerous. Chances are though they will create a new account every few weeks (most of them do). I would love to warn you all about a potentially dangerous man on POF, he has been in prison for sexually assaulting someone with sn’s, he obviously has severe mental health issues and is a danger to women. I have had to block him many times due to him opening new accounts. All I can say is ‘be very careful’, POF is full of people who are probably married or in relationships, some are in open relationships, I’m not sure if we should really name and shame them, there are far worse people on OLD that could be dangerous, this is why we must keep our eyes wide open and don’t trust anyone,

@Lovemusic33 I just don't want to waste another babysitter if I'm honest 😂

Problem is a fancy the other guy but we've been doing this text dance for 18 months now!

I also have a lovely male friend who I met on the dating sites and we get on amazingly but I'm not sure I could date him properly. We go out from time to time and talk a lot but there is something stopping me. Although I may invite him to something I have on next weekend.

Sex toy guy seems keen and since I told him I didn't appreciate the picture I haven't had anymore and other than him trying to find out if I'm uptight about sex in real life that conversation had been stopped. I'm not uptight about sex but I don't need it thrust in my face straight away. Lol

Left you all here for a week and look at all the stuff I’ve missed, I need to come here every day or I get so behind on what’s happening!

Got bailed on last minute on Friday by Mr TooYoung (he’s 10 years younger than me) so contacted Mr Local and suggested a drink! He was up for it and we had a great night! Went back to his for coffee (just coffee - sort of!), first snog since last summer when I was dumped by ex, and boy it was nice to get back in the saddle again! Took every ounce of discipline not to stay!!

Of course the problem is now I’m starting to obsess over him (I will see him again just not sure when yet) and so am trying to concentrate on the others I’m messaging to take my mind off him!!

Thing is, I worry that he may be a player and seeing other people but, as my best friend said, you’re doing the same Dutch!! So true! Can’t get my head round all this - some of you here seem to have it down to a fine art!!

Seeing Mr TooYoung for lunch on Tuesday and maybe Mr Needy on Friday! Argh!! Why isn’t this easy??!!!

Dick pics!! Hahaha!! Woken up by one last week - oh my, I was so shocked I threw my phone on the floor!!

Pink from past expereance, men that talk about sex usually end up being pretty rubbish as it (which is why they feel the need to make a big deal out of it).
I have made several male friends through OLD, it’s ok to just be friends and it goes no further.

Trying to catch up with all your updates!

I uninstalled Bumble as I've been having some anxiety issues (not connected to dating) and thought I shouldn't be inflicting myself on anyone. However I've now reinstalled as I think it could be a good distraction. Surprisingly it's started me as a new user so I've Got a second chance at making choices

Got 2 matches so far and have messaged both.

As I've not had so much as a kiss for over 2 years I'm envious of anyone getting a bit of excitement!

I've also made a lot of friends through OLD. I have a lot of male friends anyway (and work in a very male dominated industry)! That part of it has been quite good.

Finding out people lie about their age/marital status etc. all that shit is the downside of it!

in fact the bloke I saw last year, I helped write his profile (we are still friends) because he had an unusual sexual interest that he only disclosed about 6 months in. I said to him, women FAR prefer it if you're upfront and honest so I wrote his profile and put this in it. He was sceptical at first because he hardly got anyone messaging him (and before he was getting like hundreds - he's a good looking bloke) but then he got a few and he's now in a long term relationship!

even afterwards he said oh I never thought about being honest upfront

I mean fgs lol

Pink and Love I have sympathy as I live between two cities, high working-age population, but honestly it's no better as I have quantity over quality!

Bumble as example - swiping right for within 30 min for profiles I liked, few 45 min if great profile. Started with around 25 potentials. I dropped 2 as had doubts, 5 didn't respond in time, I dropped another 8 as they either smoked or wrote "how u babe" type messages or told me they spent the whole day drinking and getting sunburnt. I'm down to 8, 1 seems persistent in a controlling way, 2 seem normal, others aren't messaging me.

If that's right it's 2 out of 25 as a ratio!

Pof I had one date last night, I have blocked so many I don't have a clue maybe 30 odd. Many faces I recognise and they mainly offer 'discrete' sex my profile clearly says relationship or short-term fun.

Anyhow date last night was fine, but he may be on the rebound.

and pink don't lose heart. It's so easy to take OLD personally x and if you're not in a big city, it is going to take longer x

also I have an appalling strike rate, worse than choc

loads of people I've matched disappeared and most don't reply to my messages. At the moment only 2 did and I think I matched a lot more than 25.

Wow it must have been something on the air for drunk texting last night I met up for third date (Cinema) then back to mine for tea and other activities!! Drunk text on the way home last night but was well received.. set up a fourth meet up on Tuesday to watch football game.. hope you are all enjoying the sunny weekend!!!

Question for you lot...

Been on one (very nice!) date with Mr Local on Friday, met him through local (paid) dating site but also seen him on Tinder. He seems keen and a second date is on the cards.

Have just installed Bumble just to see what’s about and see how it works, and he’s come up on there too! Now, I realise I’m on all three same as his but my question is (and I know I’m stupid!), do I swipe right? Pathetic huh?!

Also, another question re Bumble, does it work the same as Tinder, so I swipe right and then it matches with another who swipes right but then I’m the one that makes the first contact?

@halfdutch...yes bumble is like tinder but the girl has to message first within 24 hours of the match. And they have to respond to you within 24 hours.

I'd just ignore him on there but have the exclusive chat and deleting all profiles if things progress to that point?

One of my irons has popped up today as they were broken from 2 days of drinking. What ?

I quite like Bumble. One nice chat on there and one attached person looking for sex. He was offering to come round to mine last night!!! I declined.

Had a 4th date with Mr Academic on Friday. And got home Saturday morning 😳. We had a lovely evening. He is so easy to get on with, he's not needy and he's just a happy and interesting person. He talked about doing something in a few weeks. I also said I'd like to see him a bit more often (7 weeks between date 3 and 4!) and he agreed. He's extremely laid back, texts me about once a week, but I have no reason at all to suspect him of anything as he doesn't seem like a player. Just busy. Now I'm getting to know him, I do like him and the speed of this suits me. I don't want anything full on, but I do like casual dating.

I am meeting Mr Teacher on Tuesday for a drink. However he's in an open relationship and I've made it clear to him I'm not sure it's my thing. He hasn't texted me since the start of the week when we arranged to meet though, so that's a bit annoying.

love hope today's date went well.

val how was the concert? Did you meet anyone lovely?

Tom it's tonight so I'll be leaving soonish - I just hope I'm sitting next to a chatty person!

val oooh yes! People are often chatty at these things. And hang around the bar a bit! Hope you have a superb time.

have a great time Val!

Not sure about the bar Tom - I'm on my own so no one to get me out of trouble lol

I am very confused by bumble

maybe I am doing something wrong - can the men see your whole profile when they choose to match with you?

I have matched with a few people on there.

Person 1 just wanted sex. Fair enough, can deal with that. Non starter for me lol

Person 2 I sent a message to and he's written one back saying sorry but you live too far away for me. So why did he match me then? Surely he could see where I lived as it's on the front of my profile or can't he see that?

Person 3 I matched and sent a message and he just wrote one back saying 'I'm new to bumble too, have a nice weekend and hope you have good luck finding someone on here' lol. I mean why match with me if you have no intention of seeing me? Or is it a case that they can't see my whole profile and when they match they do and then they aren't interested (which is fine) but I just dont' get why you would match and then not bother?!

unless these are a load of fake profiles which I guess is possible

I must admit it's getting a bit frustrating having to always send the first message too . There are only so many first messages you can send!