"Honest" H

[Belfastbird]

My husband has just told me one of the main reasons he doesn't want us to go to a destination wedding is that he would be embarrassed having the fattest wife there. I know I need to lose some weight but I am 5ft4 & a size 14 (11lb5) so not obese. This is also the reason he will no longer sleep with me I am at the end of my tether. He says he is just being truthful & it's not hurtful. What do you think. Prepared to be flamed. Thx

Why are you with him?

Why are you with him? Presumably he is on a par with some kind of sex god himself?

He’s being a dick. If he’s embarrassed by you then it’s HIS issue, not yours and he shouldn’t be making you feel like shit.

He's a twat who is deliberately trying to hurt you under the guise of 'honesty'!

Tell him to fuck off and fly off to wedding alone with a suitcase of bikinis and self respect.

Your husband is a cunt. A nasty, bullying statehood who's hiding behind being 'honest' when what he's actually doing is giving your self esteem a good kicking. How would it be if you opted for honesty too?

'I'll be going to be wedding alone. I can't possibly take you with me because then everyone would be able to see I had the shittest husband there'.

That's awful. He's Brad Pitt I take it?

Statehood? I bloody hate autocorrect - arsehole. He's an arsehole.

So he's thick, shallow, nasty and socially inept. Does he have any good qualities or is he a cunt through and through?

Size 14, size a million. You're his wife! He promised to love honour and cherish you and worship you with his body.

Tosser.

he sounds awful. You are my size and whilst I agree we could do with losing 15-20 pounds I am by no means the fattest of people. Having just being on a summer vacation I was pretty much averaged sized

How much does he weigh? That's dead weight you should drop pretty quickly.

Size 14 is not big. If it were that he didn't want to go because you wouldn't be comfortable because YOU had an issue with your body image, and that would make the trip shit; I could understand him coming up with a plan to support you in developing your self esteem.

But that's the opposite of what he is doing, he appears to be bullying you, insulting you because he is unhappy about your weight.

Agree with whoever said to pack a case of bikinis and go without the horrible man.

Thanks All. You start to wonder if you're being oversensitive.
Why am I still with him? 20 yrs & 2 young kids. It's scary to leave but I know it's what I need to do.
Brad Pitt he is not

Or he is putting you down to knock your self esteem so you dont leave his sorry ass.

No you are not being oversensitive. What do you get out of this relationship now?. Twenty years together and two young children are no good reasons to actually be with him.

Do not get trapped by the sunken costs fallacy; that basically causes people to keep on making poor relationship decisions.

Mimosashiestrung has the right response.

I'd go on my own and leave him. What a dickhead. I thought you were going to say something like you were 25st or something.

My husband is taking me to see a popular stand up comedienne on Friday. Before the show we will have had a meal.

On Saturday we will go to an open air museum for a day out and an evening of dancing to a swing band who will play in the grounds of the museum.

Oh, I'm five feet three inches tall. Weigh nearly 19 stones and wear size 20 clothes. Yeah, I'm trying to lose some weight but my husband said he married me not my waist measurement.

I think it's time you and your husband said your goodbyes. What's the next artificial milestone he will set you ? Earn more money ? Make nicer food etc etc etc.

Cheeky bastard, tell him to fuck off to the wedding himself. Whilst he is gone change the locks.

How long has he spoken to you like this OP? Seriously?

The full 20 years or just recently?

Belfast my exh told me he was embarrassed to go to the swimming pool with the kids and I because of how I looked in a swimming costume. Ds2 was a few months old and at the time I was horrified at what a let down I must have been. I did a lot of reading on here and realised that he'd been emotionally and financially abusing me for years without me realising- we'd been together since I was 19 and so I knew no different. I bet this is just the tip of the iceberg once you start thinking about it.

You deserve so much better x

Good to know he hadn't completely brainwashed you. You know there are loads of posters on here who've been where you are and will offer support and advice when you're ready for it? 20 years is more than enough, time to release your fuckwit back into the wild.

my husband said he married me not my waist measurement

I just love this comment.

As for your husband, OP, well, words fail me. You have got two young children, which you presumably carried for nine months each. and look after. You are his wife and their mother. He owes you more respect than that! Definitely a fuckwit.

Well it is really good he won't go to the destination wedding with you.

Go alone and leave him at home with the DC for a few days.

I'd go to the destination wedding in my own and sod him!

On!

It doesn't need qualifying that you are "only a 14" and that "there's much bigger out there.." he's a wanker regardless.

By qualifying it you make it sound like it's ok if she was (shock horror) actually fat. It's not fucking ok to anyone, of any size.

You can do better and so can the s22 and the s30 and the s8. He's the wanker, size has fuck all to do with it.