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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

"Honest" H

84 replies

Belfastbird · 19/06/2018 19:31

My husband has just told me one of the main reasons he doesn't want us to go to a destination wedding is that he would be embarrassed having the fattest wife there. I know I need to lose some weight but I am 5ft4 & a size 14 (11lb5) so not obese. This is also the reason he will no longer sleep with me I am at the end of my tether. He says he is just being truthful & it's not hurtful. What do you think. Prepared to be flamed. Thx

OP posts:
Joysmum · 22/06/2018 11:21

My dh is over 20st and I have an eating disorder.

I’m so lucky and proud that my dh is mine and certainly not embarrassed of him. I do worry about his health, just as he worries about mine. I can’t imagine either of us ever saying what your partner did, even in anger in the middle of a row.

I know you’ve said you need to separate, I just hope this really is the start of that process for you Sad

matchingpjs · 22/06/2018 11:33

It sounds as if he doesn’t love you. Why would you be contemplating marrying anyone who doesn’t adore you?

MrsClutterworth · 22/06/2018 11:34

Your partner should never be embarrassed of you. He sounds like a nasty arsehole! Get rid of him. You don't need someone bringing you down and making you feel shit. Might sound cringe but he should love you no matter what anyway. Honestly, don't allow someone to speak to you like that, make you feel bad about yourself or put you down. He's going to massively dent your self esteem, that is if you have any left with how he speaks to you! You're worth more than that. And who cares about weight anyway. I'd rather be with someone bigger who had a kind heart and made me pee myself laughing than a beanpole with no personality who couldn't give a shit. You're worth more than how he speaks to you x

Uncreative · 22/06/2018 11:43

I’m not overweight. I am clinically obese. My husband tells me I am beautiful and that he loves me every single day.

You do not have a weight problem, you have a husband problem.

LTB!

fedupandnogin · 22/06/2018 11:47

Leave him. He sounds awful and you've said already the marriage is bad. (BTW the best diet I ever went on was the divorce diet! although I've subsequently put weight on again but my new and very lovely man says he loves me just the way I am).

Mountainsoutofmolehills · 23/06/2018 00:05

go to wedding without husband.

RideOn · 23/06/2018 00:17

I’m going to go against the grain . . . . .

not really. Jump into that tunnel OP and don’t look back.

ItDoesMyHeadIn · 23/06/2018 00:40

Let him go on his own - just pack up and leave before he returns. What a cunt!

TheMonkeyMummy · 23/06/2018 05:53

What a twat. Good luck OP.

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