New partner borrowing money - just found out this has happened before.

[Harra]

Just found out that my new partner who moved in with me very quickly as was kicked out by his landlady (probably girlfriend at the time though he lies) has done this to various women. He owes money to a lot of people. He was an ex of mine from over 26 years ago so things progressed quite quickly. I lent him money (£1000) to help him back on his feet & he has been living rent free since February. I got in touch with his brother on Sunday morning who has explained this is what he does. I was in shock. I have not discussed it with him. He is now working & has paid £200 back so far. Has anyone else been in this position? I feel if I ask him to leave I will not get any further money.

I’d write off the debt and kick him out.

He’s living rent free and presumably doesn’t contribute financially at all so is draining your money anyway by using up heating/water/food etc.

Kick him out.

Yep, write off the debt and chuck him out

How quickly did he move in. That's a red flag in itself. I understand your worries about not getting it back.

A professional cocklodger , get him gone OP he will bleed you dry .

If you give him any warning, he's likely to take something from your house to sell.

You will lose £800 this way, but it was actually lost anyway. You stood no chance of getting the full amount back. In fact now he's paid the first instalment he was probably preparing to ask to borrow it back again.

Pack his bags now and don't let him in the house again.

He’s probably telling people you are his new landlady

I agree with the others. Ask him to leave and consider the money an expensive lesson in not moving too fast.

Thanks for all your responses. He moved in within a week - it was because I knew him previously, his family etc but you are all right far too quick - but was going to be a short term thing whilst we saw how we got on & to help him out. Think I am still in shock & feel very stupid. Writing it done & hearing the same answers from you guys helps.

A WEEK!
Holy Hell OP.
Tell him to be gone by Wednesday.
He's truly taking the piss but you let him.
Take back control of this situation and your life!!!
Get him gone.

Yep, my brother does this. Gets his hooks into any woman with her own place and tells them any old bollocks to get his feet under the table, works sporadically, usually after he has been kicked out, until he managed to target another mug.
Do yourself a massive favour and get him gone today, oh and change the locks because some tossers like this are brazen enough to let themselves in and take what they think they are entitled to. Be prepared for his well-rehersed sob story, simply block and ignore.

£800 is a small price to pay for your silliness.

March him out of the door right now and check his pockets before he leaves the premises.

You are never getting that £800 anyway. Better get rid now.

He's living rent free you say. Is he paying a share of the bills? Paying for the food? I bet not. You will be more than £800 down if you let him stay any longer.

When can he next pay you more? If its soon I'd sit on it, squirrel away any valuables so he can't take them, take the money and change the locks.

cocklodger. Been there. Get rid fast.

A week!!
He really saw you coming.
How can you possibly know somebody that short a time even if you did know him years ago. You really need to be more careful in the future. He could have been dangerous!! Get rid of him FFS!

You could get a bit more back by calling him in a panic, desperately need £250 for something, don't worry I know you can't afford to pay me back right now properly, but can you loan me til Friday... get what you can back then DUMP!

I think people are being quite harsh. You're not certain this is what he's like, the brother might be wrong.
I'd tell him he needs to be paying rent/bills or he's out though.

Thanks all. Really do feel stupid. Was trying to be helpful but have been taken for a right mug.

Look you had your doubts you asked someone who would know (his brother) you are acting relatively swiftly in the circumstances

Yes you have been mugged. Been there as have many others. I lost about 2k and my self respect thinking he would come good.
£800 is a bargain for a life lesson. He won't come good.

A week is fast, but as you had history before, it’s not so bad.

You sound like a nice person who was trying to help.

When is his next payday? If soon, can you ask for money then? Also, is he contributing to the food etc. If no to either of them, then get rid. It will cost you less to get rid of him now, rather then feed (and entertain, provide stuff etc) in the long run.

He should get paid a bit on Friday and that was the idea to get some more money then even before I found out. I do just feel sick to my stomach. Expensive lesson. Sorry to hear it has happened to others too.

Remember that him having nowhere else to go to is not your problem.

You can ask him to leave on Friday after he has/has not handed over some cash. Where he goes is not your problem. There are lots of places. You don't have to find one for him. You don't have to let him stay because he's too lazy/dumb/manipulative to find somewhere new.

I'd tell him nothing. Pack his bags whilst he is out and put them outside. Write off the money. You'll never see it. Never be so silly again.

Why did you break up the first time OP.