New partner borrowing money - just found out this has happened before.

[Harra]

Just found out that my new partner who moved in with me very quickly as was kicked out by his landlady (probably girlfriend at the time though he lies) has done this to various women. He owes money to a lot of people. He was an ex of mine from over 26 years ago so things progressed quite quickly. I lent him money (£1000) to help him back on his feet & he has been living rent free since February. I got in touch with his brother on Sunday morning who has explained this is what he does. I was in shock. I have not discussed it with him. He is now working & has paid £200 back so far. Has anyone else been in this position? I feel if I ask him to leave I will not get any further money.

I always say that the best place to borrow money from is your bank or other loan company/credit facility. If they wont lend it to you well why the f**k should I ? simples..

wise up quickly and get rid of him

£800 is a small price to pay when getting with a selfish,money grabbing prick !

He should have been paying rent,atleast from the second he started working

Get rid OP, you and your purse will feel lighter for it

So have you kicked him out yet op?

First time round he was 17 & I was 20. Very informal, however towards the end it was about a year when it was good & quite full on. So I was 22 & he was 19 but both so young. He was a very angry jealous young man as most of his age group were. I went out with a platonic male friend & he finished with me - very black & white then.

Currently not at home - at my sisters ( previous planning prior to knowing what was happening) so haven’t kicked him out as yet. Back tomorrow, his brother keeps in touch which is so helpful as long as you guys. Really appreciate all your support and messages & will let you know how things end up.

As well as you guys !!!! Thank you so much

Update - well so far he has paid another £200 back. Caveat that ‘he might need to borrow it back’. I have lodged an incident with the police so as & when I ask him to leave there will be back up. Done some digging around & looks like he got sacked from 2 jobs in the last year. 1 for absence and the second for damage to a cab camera. Also think he is lining up his next target. Think my shock has turned into cold hearted action and I know it is only money but I work hard for it.

Good for notifying the police, really hope you kick him out today op. Be prepared for bullshit excuses but rest assured, scum like this always land on their feet. Good luck, op.

Why have you not kicked him out yet?

I don't think she's at home catlady. (btw that was a slightly aggressive post I felt?)

Harra I hope you resolve this the best way for you the moment he asks to borrow the money back that's the moment for the boot and he will ask maybe not this week or next but he will

Somehow I think you will prevail, OP. You're an astute woman.

This is now op.
And good luck with getting some money out of him before you kick him to the kerb.

Clearly you don't have children because I cannot imagine ANYONE with moving some guy in after a week. So there is that.

Wipe the debt, kick him out. There really is no other option. If you don't then just accept this will be your life. Good luck

£800 isn’t too bad a price for a major life lesson, really. We all need them at some point.

I hope the eviction goes smoothly.

I have learned through life that you cannot offer someone a roof over their head bscause when you can't put up with their fuckwiitery any longer, essentially it is you that's that is responsible for them for their homelessness at that point.

I'd pack his stuff while he's out, get the locks changed and text him to pick his shit up.

I hear you guys. I do have a child & yes it was extremely stupid moving someone in so soon. Having history with the guy, I thought he would be sound. As Monty27 points out - there is a reason why he was in his situation. I was trying to help him out. He has been great with my ds - probably another way to ‘endear himself’ to me. When I spoke to his brother, there were no concerns re children. So down to him now ‘owing ‘ me £600 + living here rent free for 4 months. He has done loads round the house this weekend, still working & I expect more cash this weekend. I wish I was that ‘astute ‘ but now trying to get as much £ back as possible. If he asks for more cash - do not worry he will be gone. You are all saying the same things & I do feel very stupid. However I do not feel any danger. Really appreciate all your responses.

Don’t waste time feeling stupid. We all do daft things sometimes. Often because we want to believe the best in someone. There are worse mistakes to make

Thank you.

Sorry, so you are only going to kick him out if he asks for more money??

I paired up with someone within even less than a week and it was, of course, a disaster. But this man doesn't really sound so bad. He is paying you back at least and he's living with you rent-free because that is what you offered. However if he stops paying or worse still asks for the money back again, out he should go post haste.

But this man doesn't really sound so bad

What?? He sounds appalling!

Some people have ridiculously low standards...

You had 'history' with him (that he was a controlling guy 26 years ago!!) so you thought it was ok to let him move in with you and your child after a week?!

I'm sorry, there's very little constructive that can be said to that.