We are off on romantic hol. Suddenly declares no marriage...

[forthispurposeonly]

So been with man 15 months. We've talked a lot about marriage even down to where and who to invite!! A few months back I sent him a little quote about marriage and he wrote back "sooner than you think" !! He even asked ring size...

We are off to a very romantic location sans children in less than two weeks.

Bizarrely over the last few days he's announced how he doesn't want to get married any time soon!!!! But "never say never". He basically cant stop telling me how he DOESNT want to get married...

Wtaf.... I was full on hoping this was going to be proposal potential!!!

I'm going to try my best to forget about it and enjoy the lovely holiday but must admit to feeling deflated...

Pre-proposal games for him?

do you think he's trying to throw you off scent so it's a surprise?

Something similar happened to me so I started planning trips with best friend (we weren't living together), then he got upset because he was planning to propose but wanted to put me off the scent - but it worked too well and backfired! So you never know...

I think he's realised that the holiday has proposal potential and has suddenly panicked that you might expect him to ACTUALLY follow through with the wedding talk...

Only 15 months and you’ve already spoke about the wedding in such detail! Blimey

It’s either going to fast for him I mean it is only 15 months or he’s planning a surprise while your away

He is a bit of a prankster so it did cross my mind BUT he sounded serious...

StormTreader - maybe. That's more the sense I'm getting

Ah Chandler Bing did this - "Look at pigs, let's just take a second here and look at pigs"... Whatever you do don't go and run off to your gorgeous mostached ex and tell him all about it...
Go enjoy you holiday!

Watch the episode of Friends where Chandler does this with him to let him see how he's risking it ending up!

Should say we've both been married before. We both have childeen but none together.

Is he Chandler from Friends?

I agree that he may be trying to put you off the scent but I don't want to get your hopes up so I'd say enjoy the holiday and if he doesn't propose when you get home have a proper discussion about how his sudden change of heart is upsetting you.

If he does propose then take a week to 'think about it' ok maybe not but do let him know at some point that you weren't amused by his tactics.

Emma - i know the episode!!!!

The backtracking sounds annoying. Have you asked him why?

If you didn't have the holiday booked already I'd say don't bother going.

Do you actually love him? Or do you have "questions" in your mind too?

I thought double bluff but it could easily be that someone had mentioned to him about romantic break bring proposal potential and he is panicking and back tracking.

have you been hinting about how romantic it will be and freaked him out?

Hes probably trying to throw you off the scent. If he doesn't propose while your on holiday then have it out with him and ask why he has all of a sudden changed his mind.

Well i didnt say anything but he offered the reason that his previous marriage is still causing stress (true). As mine is. But you know, life.

No not at all!!! I never bring up marriage etc. He does!!!

All i say is i cant wait for the break without kids!!! I was a single parent for years and not had a hol in a decade.

his previous marriage is still causing stress (true). As mine is

Maybe getting married again against this backdrop isn't the best idea anyway??

A few months back in the car his son asked if we are going to get married. He said "categorically yes. But not imminently"

Maybe you both need to calm down enjoy your holiday maybe wedding talk freaked him out and it got too intense.

Just go and enjoy the holiday - if you're stressing about whether he's going to propose or not, then you won't relax and just enjoy yourself. Which really would be silly. Go with the flow.

What's the worst that could happen? He doesn't ask and you carry on as you are now? Which is, I assume, happy? But if you get stressed about this, and don't enjoy the holiday because of it, then haven't you created a problem that isn't really there???

Brakeback - i have a different outlook but yes, many might say that and i can understand. I think its perhaps more the mixed messages and sudden change.

I think he's dampening your expectations that a proposal will happen on this trip. But not ruling out marriage altogether in the longer term.

To be honest, 15 months isn't that long to have known each other. He's suggesting the relationship is moving in the right direction but he's not ready yet. Fair enough.

Yes.. enjoying the hol is exactly what i intend to do. You're right. If doesnt happen then we carry on happy right?!

15 months is no time really just enjoy your relationship