Is this fair?

[Choccablock]

Well today marks the day I start treating DH like he treats me.

I often feel invisible. He is glued to his phone/laptop/PC at all times. Breakfast is him sat on the sofa, laptop on lap, watching TV loudly, eating breakfast with one hand and often his phone in the other. (Yep, 3 screens at once...)
No interaction, I have to pretty much beg to have breakfast together at the table (and even that involves scrolling Reddit on his phone)

90% of evenings he spends in the office gaming loudly with his headset on. On the rare occasion he comes downstairs and Im watching TV myself, he walks in takes the TV remote, Huffs at the 'crap' I'm watching and changes the channel.

Twice this week he insisted we carried on with sex while the newborn baby cried and cried. I felt really horrible but wanted to believe he was right (he says if the baby has been fed/changed then baby needs to learn that it won't get attention everytime he cries)

So tonight he asked me for a sock so he could 'do his thing', expecting me to act all sexy and into his horny.... (Normally I absolutely would get into the mood. Even when I've had a shit day with our toddler/exhausted from pregnancy/ feeling fat andhideous post birth) But thought I just layed there and carried on ebay shopping. I kissed him back, but instead of getting 'into the moment' I held my phone behind his head. Kissed him with eyes open and continued to scroll through eBay.

Instead of working out what clothes left on the floor are dirty to be washed or clean enough to be worn for a second day (jeans, jumpers etc) I'll just shove them into his cupboard and he can work it out.

I don't know why I'm writing this. I just need a place to tell someone. I feel very lonely and sad. My husband is selfish, right? Or is it the postpartum hormones?

Can't believe I just said that.

He asked you for a sock?

He is being a bloody selfish twat. You must feel so invisible and ignored :( poor you, you deserve much more! He should lavish attention upon the mother of his dear childeren! Ignore him forever and see if he notices. If he doesn't, find a new man! Xxxx

Also the bit about asking you continue sex when the baby cried. Rape.

Run!

He sounds like a deeply unpleasant man. He wants to carry on having sex with someone who wants to stop whilst ignoring his tiny crying baby? And has no interest in you other than for having sex?

Deeply unpleasant.

He insisted you had sex with him while your baby cried?

How else can I make him feel like me?
I'm not very good with explaining things out loud when I have issues with him. He knows this. Its like baby brain has taken over and I forget everything when he says nice things.

Its like I put up with the shit because sometimes he's really lovely and that feels enough for me. But I've realised it shouldn't be enough. And it isn't enough anymore.

Rock on. Throw dirty plates in the dutbin instead of washing them, or put them in the garden for the rain to wash them. Facetime with other people whenever he's in the same room as you. Keep discomnecting the wifi hub every 10 minutes while he's gaming and shout upstairs "who the f** used all the broadband?? I'm trying to Facetime down here!"
That'll teach him.
Or, you could just find a better man.

Yes he did a couple of times. It didn't seem such a huge deal as it wasn't a completely alien thing to happen (does that make sense?) It did upset me. I felt guilty after and when he finished I ran out the room to be with the baby.

What's the sock all about ?

Jesus, leave him.

I like the idea of disconnecting the hub. I'm not sure he will fall for it. But I could try !

Smallhorse don't worry...

How old is your baby? Do you even feel up to sex if you have a newborn? He sounds awful and abusive to continue sex when you want to get to your crying baby.

I think it says a lot about your relationship if you feel ashamed to speak the truth about it, which it sounds like you do from your last post. Someone absolutely should feel ashamed of your description of the way he treats you, but it isn't you.

Do you want to leave him?

Why are you with such a horrid man?
Newborn babies don’t need to learn anything, they need to be given love when they know they need it, not when some adult decides.
Take your baby and go and stay at your mums. This is not right op. He treats you like dirt.

....that bit there with the sex and the baby crying..Nah, I couldn’t forgive that. In a word, selfish. I think you should have got up, told him to finish himself off and go and do what you truly wanted to do..Sorry but you did ask.

Why would you go along with the sock and act all horny? I can’t imagine what that would involve.

I find it really shocking what some people tolerate.

OP, when you say he's nice, when is that? You've described him being sexually abusive, addicted to his screens and incredibly selfish. At what point is he lovely?

I know it's frightening to think of leaving someone, but I really think that's what you should do with this guy.

A sock? He wanks in a sock whilst asking you to be sexy? If you find socks sexy who are we to judge, but I am guessing you don't.

Sheeeesh, op. Dont lower yourself. Shit in his sock first.

Wow, he's a dick !

Yuck. It's not about stooping to his level. You're not happy in your relationship. I'd get out of it.

(Sorry distracted by sock - Is a sock a condom? Or was he wanking into the sock?)

Twice this week he insisted we carried on with sex

Do you know that, even taking everything else out of the equation, that sentence is evoygh to make my blood run cold

Oh and i did this tactic. Went on "strike" cooked my own meals not his etc. He didn't suddenly develop empathy. He did start shagging someone else.

He sounds like an absolute bellend. Selfish, unreasonable arsehole. Why are you with him?

Also I am also intrigued by the sock/doing his thing requiring you to act horny!? What have socks got to do with sex...(please tell us OP!)