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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Brave Babes Battle Bus: Sunshine, Roses and Mocktails All Round

999 replies

SweetLathyrus · 11/06/2018 07:21

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus since 2014. Over the years, lots of us have maintained the thread, most of all the lovely Mouse, who has been here since the early days, and still scurries onboard when she can.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in. Driers and Triers, all welcome.

Summer offers all kinds of challenges for those of us trying to change our relationship to alcohol, pub gardens, summer holidays, school holidays, and apparently there's a big football tournament too. If you want to read where the bus has been so far this year here's the link to the
last thread

And in case you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread

The Bus is a bit of a Mumsnet institution, but it has an open door policy, no cliques, no judgement, and the welcome is always warm. So hop on and join us.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
21
LuxuryWoman2017 · 12/07/2018 22:31

Hope you had a fab holiday ma and yes, mshoolie is back and it's so great to know she's safe even though it's a tough old time.

IronNeonClasp · 12/07/2018 22:33

Hi. Tough last 2 nights. Obsessive "a drink would be nice wouldn't it". Haven't given in.
7th night tonight :)

bakingcupcakes · 12/07/2018 23:05

Iron Do not give in! 7 nights is a whole week! That's amazing when you're breaking a long term habit.

Whats and Pink I'm also finding some real positives through not drinking. I don't really miss it that much now either. I seem to have so much more time for other things too.

Trust I like that you think I'm helpful! Grin Hooray for 10 days! It's good when the days start adding up.

MsHoolies It amazes me the things I still enjoy without having a drink. It always feels like alcohol is a necessity to having a good time and it really isn't. It's society and the companies making the drinks that make you think that way.

I'm still AF. Not really got anything new to report. I did a bit of impromptu sales shopping today when I was meant to be in Asda I got DS an outfit for my friends wedding later in the year and a few other bits. It was good. I was thinking in the car how much less anxious I am atm. Even work hasn't stressed me out. Then this evening I've sat and worried/panicked/got generally worked up over very little. It really annoys me that I can't turn these feelings off.

MrHoolieswaistcoat · 13/07/2018 11:57

Whats I have a 15 year old DD and when she has friends round, we have to turn the tv up because they’re all laughing so much and her room is 2 floors above and they’re not drinking. I remember posting ages ago that I was on a bus and there were a load of teenage girls who were giggling so much, I couldn’t hear myself think.
My first thought was to feel irritated and then it occurred to me that they were all so happy and they weren’t drinking
It’s absolutely true that we’re not born needing alcohol.

Alfiemoon1 · 13/07/2018 18:00

Can I join please I need to cut down or give up alcohol tonight will be my first af night in about 2 years any survival tips I usually gave in at 9 pm but I really need to do this

Trust2017 · 13/07/2018 21:31

Hi Alfie yes of course you can join. What has made you think about it tonight? Only answer if you want to. Smile
You have made the first step so well done. I hope you have made it through your 9pm witching hour and if so that is your first achievement on this journey

bakingcupcakes · 13/07/2018 21:56

Welcome to the bus Alfie. Have you managed to resist so far? The early days are the hardest I think. Have you got nice soft drinks to have instead? I find if I'm really craving I have to go to bed so I don't think about it anymore.

Alfiemoon1 · 13/07/2018 22:33

Thank u. Yes I have resisted. The reason I need to do this and I chose today is I got horrendously drunk again last night and ended up sending dh vile texts while he was at work again we had issues 2 years ago which is when my drinking started we have resolved them but when I get drunk I drag it all up. He is starting to luck for somewhere else to live says it definitely over
He doesn’t know it’s because I am drunk as I have hidden it so hopefully when he’s calmed down I can discuss it with him

IronNeonClasp · 14/07/2018 02:33

Hi Alfie. Ive just quit after a 14m binge post separation/divorce. I'm taking it one day at a time. Welcome. Have you got any other support? I'm reading 'kick the drink easily' it's really good and I'm keeping a blog and have a small circle of friends rooting for me...

So, I've just got in from a night out after training earlier. It was 21:30 when I got home no kids and wanted to go to my local - that I love. I knew I didn't want to drink just wanted to see some familiar faces as I don't want to shut everything down. I drank soda and lime and bumped in to a male friend. We went to a crap club and danced like lunatics. I drank a half of OJ and half a coke! Everyone in the club was wrecked.
I can't believe I had such a brilliant time Grin Never been clubbing without some kind of enhancement! And I remember everything...
Day 8 complete :)

Alfiemoon1 · 14/07/2018 08:21

Morning day 1 done woke up feeling worse than if i had been drinking but at least I haven’t embarrassed myself

OhDearMavis · 14/07/2018 09:54

Happy weekend babes!
mshoolie I never posted on the earlier threads but remember reading your posts, lovely to see you!
iron that sounds amazing!
Alfie that's amazing! If it helps, I felt awful to start with. It got better! What about an app to keep track of days and money saved?
I wobbled a bit last night, but I'm coming up to 3 months, and I really want to finally do this. Alcohol can fuck off. It had 10 fucking years of my life, and now it can fuck the fuck off.

Trust2017 · 14/07/2018 13:56

Wow Iron I am so impressed that you managed to go clubbing without drinking. I think you have definitely started to find your way through this.
Alfie I hope you can sort out your issues
Everybody else I hope you have a good weekend

MintToBee · 14/07/2018 19:05

Just checking in. Have very little mobile signal as I'm here..
Catch up soon!

Brave Babes Battle Bus: Sunshine, Roses and Mocktails All Round
Alfiemoon1 · 14/07/2018 20:37

Busy day as been in work then had to do the horse etc. It’s quite warm so just fancy a fruit cider in the garden but am having appletiser instead which is just as refreshing

IronNeonClasp · 15/07/2018 08:59

Hey - how's everyone doing?
I hope you don't mind me posting all of this but I need to write down my journey - bit of a commitment to myself... (And possibly Self-Indulgent) But if you knew me and my drinking habit/s then you would think I had undergone a brain transplant! Grin
I never realised how many different types of pop/non-alcoholic drinks there are ! Don't get me wrong - I can't stick the thought of drinking the 0% Heineken (my tipple of choice) or Peroni's etc. I don't know what's happened but I honestly can't stand the smell of booze anymore..
I went out to the town yesterday - there was a festival. Didn't have the kids and where I would have 'normally' started drinking at 14:00 I had a Perrier poppy water and an orange and mango J20 (Poundland for the win! £1!). But I turned a corner and my a former FB was there with one of my mates BF. He's been away with work for a few weeks. It was a bit of a shock as I hadn't realised he wayback. I have had some kind of limerence with him - he's totally not interested in me - which is a bit of a fuck up and a complete trigger to tip me to booze. He was quite hostile and gave me the impression that he thinks I'm a bit of a live wire - which I guess I have been in the past. Anyway - I went to meet a mate in another town and by the time we got back to the festival FB was pissed and different with me. I had to subtly avoid him all evening. It's really sad and the sort of thing that makes me want to get slaughtered in to a coma but I did not... :)
Hope this makes sense..
Have a lovely Sunday people...

LuxuryWoman2017 · 15/07/2018 10:58

Perfect sense! Brilliant actually, being in control and seeing clearly. Well done

Alfiemoon1 · 15/07/2018 21:59

Day 3 nearly done and dusted

Tinkerbellx · 15/07/2018 22:18

Hello all
Did really well and AF for over a couple of weeks recently with some fabulous support on here . It was flipping good to if I'm honest . After the first couple of nights I felt so good . Stupidly got off the bus and hey ho back to a bottle of wine or several Gins a night .
So ...... back on the bus tomorrow if you'll have me ( until fri ) please ? X

Coconutcreampie · 17/07/2018 08:29

Hi there, so I'm new here. I have had problems with alcohol for about 13 years, I've managed to quit a few times but always return to it. I kidded myself that I was fine because I always managed to hold off drinking during the daytime but I'm realising I'm a truly horrible person when I drink, I lose my conscience entirely and become very selfish, I need to become completely sober and maintain for life this time because otherwise I know I'm going to end up losing my marriage and my children. I last drank at 2am on Saturday.

venusandmars · 17/07/2018 08:33

Morning Babes. Who's doing well and wants to share their progress? Who's struggling and looking for support? Who's feeling stuck in a cycle on on/off, on/off? Who's just gritting their teeth and getting through the day?

Doesn't matter, come and post and tell us how YOU are.

I'm doing well in myself, but my work seems to have dried up (self employed), only about a quarter of the leads I usually have... and I don't know why. If this continues 2019 is looking like a very worrying year. Confused

A few years ago I would have seen a quiet week as an opportunity to open a bottle of wine at lunch time, but today I'm more committed to going to my yoga class. It helps that I've lost a stubborn half stone and I'm feeling motivated.

I'm also wondering whether the lack of work is the kick up the bum that I need to get on with a new but risky project....

venusandmars · 17/07/2018 08:34

Hi coconut and welcome on board. Well done on your week so far, that's a great start.

JustlikeDevon · 17/07/2018 18:32

Delurking and nc to say hello and make myself a little more accountable. I can't bring myself to discuss how I got here, although I see I'm not alone with The Shame. The recycling people this morning must have thought I'd had a massive party this week. All my own work. Yet another day 1. You are all v inspirational!

Coconutcreampie · 17/07/2018 18:49

I really really want a drink right now. No particular trigger, I have a nice uneventful day, but I have an ache in my tummy that's reminding me I have half a bottle of Vodka in my cupboard and that maybe I could just learn to cut down slowly or just allow myself 2 or 3 doubke vodkas rather than the usual 8 or 9 doubles...

LuxuryWoman2017 · 17/07/2018 18:53

coconut big glass of water and run a bath. The feeling will pass.

Welcome Devon just join right in, everyone here understands.

Coconutcreampie · 17/07/2018 19:14

I've played a few games of uno and hoovered downstairs and the feelings lessened a bit but still very present. I can't go for a bath right now as its right opposite the kids room so they if I have a bath the will keep getting out of bed to chat to me (I have previous experience of this) and they should be in bed. I can't stop wondering if I've been a bit rash trying to go alcohol free straight away, maybe just cutting down is more sensible? I worry that stopping entirely is gonna lead to some sort of crazy binge at one point whereas maybe if I just limit myself I could manage? I guess everybody thinks that at first tho maybe...