Brave Babes Battle Bus: Sunshine, Roses and Mocktails All Round

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus since 2014. Over the years, lots of us have maintained the thread, most of all the lovely Mouse, who has been here since the early days, and still scurries onboard when she can.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in. Driers and Triers, all welcome.

Summer offers all kinds of challenges for those of us trying to change our relationship to alcohol, pub gardens, summer holidays, school holidays, and apparently there's a big football tournament too. If you want to read where the bus has been so far this year here's the link to the
last thread

And in case you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread

The Bus is a bit of a Mumsnet institution, but it has an open door policy, no cliques, no judgement, and the welcome is always warm. So hop on and join us.

I hate the hangovers
The binge drinker bloat and puffy face
My bra feels tight the day after I drink like that

I gained over 2 stone when life fell apart last year
I still have 7pounds to go ( I just pounded it at spin class for 3 months )
For me wine actually makes me eat carbs
When I drink too much I also binge eat and I also smoke

I am also a short tempered mother when I drink

Logically why do I do it is the question ....?

Hi Bumbelina ! The 'whys' are really tough, aren't they? I found I reached a point where I got bored with having those conversations with myself and that was when I decided to stop drinking. In my case, I have never been any good at moderation. In yours it sounds like you had a horrible time in your life and alcohol was part of what you did to get through it.

Hi crafty
Sorry can’t figure out how to highlight names on this
Thanks for understanding
Yes it was just that

Bumbelina The why? mine is because I like it, that first sip, the warmth hitting my stomach then flowing through my veins, finally my shoulders lowering from up by my ears as I relax.....it makes me forget that when I get up my face will be bloated, my head will hurt, I will be heavier due to carb binge, I will have had an awful sleep, I will be knackered -sigh. I never learn. You sound like you are doing not too badly considering you could drink 2 bottles so well done and it is great you are having alcohol free days. Really good that you are losing all the weight you gained very envious, I just keep going up

It’s very quiet around here at the moment, hope everyone is doing ok.

I caved Day 6 on Tuesday opened that bottle DH had bought on the weekend. Almost got one tonight too but managed to resist so far but DH is muttering about needing something cold and refreshing

Hi stripes

I think with the weight you need to have a reason
A goal
Mine was a wardrobe of clothes I couldn’t wear anymore and don’t have the money to replace
I hung a dress, skirt and pair jeans on the bedroom door
They go on now .. but god I have a muffin top

I invented a thyroid issue to clients and coworkers
It does amaze me how many people seemed to buy it
How I managed to function and conceal the drinking when it was at its height

And yes me too with the bad sleep stripes
And cancelling on friends as I was hungover ( but not telling them that )

bumble I have a reason but I just can’t get a grip. I also do actually have hypothyroidism but that’s controlled so not really an excuse! I gave up alcohol for 2 month in 2016. Never lost a llb!

DH went out and bought alcohol last night so-day 1 all over again.

I'm back, drank a bottle of wine last night and feel like utter shite still. I haven't suffered from hangovers for years so am unpleasantly surprised! It's certainly incentive to not drink again, or that much for sure. It's so hard to stop when you're feeling good though.

I’m on day 1 again. I keep using alcohol as a crutch for my anxiety and last night got horrendously drunk and was an obnoxious arsehole to my boyfriend. Most times I’m ok drinking but the times I’m not far outweigh the good. It’s like a switch flips. I’m going to try. I’ve also bashed my knee really badly but it serves me right obviously.

Hello everyone. Hope you’re all doing well.

Hi, all, and especially Googly , Bringback and Duchess. - I was reflecting on my year so far. I stopped drinking at the end of June. Cue really horrible five months! All the stuff alcohol had smothered came out to party in my brain. Physically I felt shit for a while too. Just been for my first visit to the gym in a good four months. I'm just beginnging to feel better: have lost weight and whilst the emotional stuff is still there and I have to deal with it, it's less overwhelming. I'm absolutely not saying anyy of this to blow my own trumpet or fish for compliments. I've been a bit of an obnoxious arse to DH as well during this process, so he is definitely not singing my praises right now either! I guess I'm saying it partly to acknowledge that giving up alcohol is a very big deal, particularly when our relationship with it is unhealthy; partly to say 'props to you' and be kind to yourselves on your journeys.💐

Thank you corvid

It seems like the easiest thing in the world to quit on the face of it by I’m scared.

Scared I can’t do it and scared that my anxiety will be through the roof without alcohol.

I’m going to make a diary and take each day as it comes I suppose.

I'm on day 8. It's not a forever af but for a few weeks to cleanse.

It's actually quite easy atm but the 'no wheat/sugar' which I'm also doing for a few weeks, is really difficult 😢

The anxiety was a big trigger for me in deciding to quit and I have to say it was the first thing to subside when I did. Alcohol really does have a nasty and sly way of anaesthetising the anxiety for a short time before intensifying it when you withdraw. I know it isn't for everyone, and I know it isn't necessarily the answer to everything, but I found having therapy incredibly helpful. It took a lot for me to admit to my therapist that I have a screwed up relationship with booze, but once Indid it was such a relief to talk about it to someone supportive and non-judgemental. It also means I can explore some of the underlying issues that have -in my case - led me to self-medicate. Bubbles you are standing strong if you are also giving up the sugar! I went on an ice cream rampage for a bit this summer! 😳

been off the bus for a while so just checking back in to say hi to old nad new babes. will read back a bit...

Did something for the first time yesterday - watched DD2 trying on wedding dresses! My goodness, that brings a lump to the throat. she looked so beautiful in all of them we were unable to say yes to any one dress. Please God let her choose the bargainous one in the sale....trying hard not to influnece for that reason but it would mke life a lot easier. and was actually a truly stunning dress.

Oh Ma! As the mother of 3 sons I never thought I’d go wedding dress shopping, but my lovely lovely DIL invited me to go with her, her mum, grandma and sister over 3 years ago now. Fabulous day......and (sensible girl) she tried on a few, decided what she liked, and went to a wedding dress warehouse the following day where she got a beautiful dress for about £300!

I’ve been off the bus for a while to, but have been reading- need to jump back on. Maybe tomorrow.......

dd's fiances mum has two sons and no daughters, so we asked her to come with us and she was really touched. we both had a good sniffle!

Hi all, do you mind if I join? Day 1 sober for me today - got to start somewhere!

I am depressed at the moment and on fluoxetine, and after drinking way too much last night and feeling physically and mentally awful today, I realise that the booze is not helping.

Sorry that I have not caught up with the thread but it's very long!

Hello dementedma...you perhaps don't remember me , but I was travelling on the bus last year with you for a while and remember you posting about your dad's engagement ring! And now wedding dresses...How lovely for all you.... time moves so fast xxx I posted up thread earlier, got to my 365 days at.... just keep taking it one dry day at a time but I am proud of coming this far Xxxx you were all so so supportive to me when I needed it most back then, I just wanted to say a very grateful Thank you💐

Just woken up on day 2. Feeling very anxious and ashamed of myself for what has happened over the weekend and for all the other incidences before. No use kidding myself, drink is a problem for me. I have emailed AA, gonna take a sick day for my mental health and call their helpline at a more sociable hour.

Now day 3. I went to an A.A. meeting. It was really good and a lot of what people said resonated with me . I’m never going to be a person that can have just one or two drinks and that’s ok, just means I’m wired differently to most people. If I keep saying it maybe I’ll believe it. Going to another meeting tonight. Hope everyone else is doing well and avoiding the WW.

Good luck, Duchess and thanks for tge update. You’ve taken some huge steps.

Nice one @Duchessgummybuns sounds like you're taking big brave steps. It's so hard to get started, and all the social messaging is that we're failures for not being able to manage an addictive substance that messes with our brains, but it's actually totally normal. I found that way of thinking about it really helped. Good luck, keep talking to people, going t

Doh. Going to meetings and posting here: do whatever makes it easy for you to not drink.

Day 58 for me

Hi everybody ( waves )

Hi duchess
Huge well done
May I ask you about the aa meeting did you just show up and how is it sort of formatted
I am thinking to go

Thanks everyone. Had a wobbly day but I’m still going to the meeting tonight.

bumbelina You can just show up, but if you call the helpline they can tell you the meeting closest to you and give them a heads up that you’re coming if you like. That’s what I did, as soon as I walked through the door someone noticed I was new and took me under her wing and made me feel very welcome.

The meeting I went to had a little reading from the Big Book, then a share, you don’t have to speak but I managed to. It made me feel so much better hearing from people who felt the same as I have been feeling. They used the term washing machine brain to describe the racing negative thoughts that cause me to drink, very accurate in my experience! I went in terrified and came out feeling very positive so I definitely recommend