Brave Babes Battle Bus: Sunshine, Roses and Mocktails All Round

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus since 2014. Over the years, lots of us have maintained the thread, most of all the lovely Mouse, who has been here since the early days, and still scurries onboard when she can.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in. Driers and Triers, all welcome.

Summer offers all kinds of challenges for those of us trying to change our relationship to alcohol, pub gardens, summer holidays, school holidays, and apparently there's a big football tournament too. If you want to read where the bus has been so far this year here's the link to the
last thread

And in case you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread

The Bus is a bit of a Mumsnet institution, but it has an open door policy, no cliques, no judgement, and the welcome is always warm. So hop on and join us.

Morning All.

Beaches I hope you're feeling better.

Being af is certainly better than the alternative, but it doesn't make life all peachy - woke up at 3am this morning, and didn't manage to get back to sleep until 5.30 am (alarm at 6.15). Work worries, mostly, which lack of sleep won't help me get on top of. Stupid brain.

How did everyone do over the weekend? Don't be afraid to say you struggled, or you fell off. New week. New start.

I did think about wine a lot yesterday. All the usual "is this it?" niggles. Will I really manage a dry Christmas? But the wisdom is right. ODaaT. Yesterday I was af, and that was good. Today I will endeavour to be af, tomorrow and Christmas can wait.

Have a good day Babes.

Hello,

Can I join? I've somehow fell into an unhealthy relationship with painkillers - all legal and I'm sticking to prescribed by Dr (I had horrific back pain after an epidural in Feb 16.) etc.

The thing is I've fallen into a rut where I'm waking up late and missing mornings with my DD as I'm groggy, which then makes me feel guilty and is a negative start to the day...

On the whole they just zombify me... and although my pain is genuine I'm not fighting it and trying alternative remedies working towards eliminating the meds...I'm much clearer headed and routined without them. I also struggle to sleep when I take them as I wake up late around 11am. I feel like a layabout really. I Don't stop once I am up though, 2 Yr old DD and 4 horses plus business at home etc it's more around bedtime and wake up time it's affecting...

It's not like me not to be proactive with this... such a sneaky trap to get into isn't it!! Drs just keep throwing prescriptions at me too...

Hope this is ok to discuss on this thread?

X

Forgot to mention. I've decided to tackle it this week. That's it I'm done. It would be very helpful to have somewhere to vent while going through this process...

TIA

Sweet you and me both with the sleep thing and worries - and the thought processes about all of that. Today’s another day and all that. I realised yesterday that a drink (multiplied) wouldn’t help any of what ails me, but it feels scary to ignore that pull towards the nice ,warm fuzzy feeling because I know that, for me, it’s outweighed by the unpleasant, anxious chilly feeling later.

Hi Nofilter

Hello @nofilter I'm sure that's ok to discuss here good luck, we're all here for venting!

I had a glass of wine yesterday evening, at my parents house. Just one. It was not very nice so I didn't want any more and I felt fine leaving it. Going to try to stick to dryness all week and possibly allow one glass next weekend, see if I can stick to strict moderation. So. Day 1 again. New week Babes xx

I bought a single serve of Opihr gin and tonic last night. It was horrible, tastes of pepper! I only drank half and threw the rest out. Pleased at myself for not just drinking for the sake of it.

Thanks guys... I'm angry at myself really for letting it slip by for over two years it's just been pushed to the back of my mind really.

I've had a big lifestyle change recently and lost 1.5 stone and am a lot more active which I'm loving so it's really old to be taking them - when I'm clearly really active and have total mobility...

Just a bit scared now of what it's going to feel like, dreading this week ahead but hey ho it's my own fault.

I'm going to stay really busy.

I've just closed down my Pharmacy2U account...

Nofilter, welcome to the bus, you sound like you have taken so many positive steps, just this one dark cloud. Living with pain is awful, no wonder you became dependent. I don't have any experience with painkillers, but I have phased out ADs. GPs (well mine at least) seemed really clued up about that, have you tried having an appointment specifically to discuss coming off them? I know referrals to pain clinics are hard to come by. Vent away.

So true, Corvid, it seems so seductive, but it wouldn't be the one, and it wouldn't solve anything.

Googly well done on moderating.

BakedBeans, throwing the gin away and not drinking for the sake of it is huge! I notice how bad the smell is too. DH had a beer in a pub on Friday, it's the same ale he always drinks in that particular pub, but this time the smell was just bleurgh!

BakedBeans47 that is great. I can’t recall ever ‘wasting’ a drink by throwing it away. Too right you should be pleased with yourself.

Nofilter closing your Pharmacy2u account is a big step. If you don’t mind me asking how have you lost the weight? Have you done that alone or with slimming world or something? Great that you are fully mobile & feeling fit.

SweetLathyrus good tip about Christmas, I have already been thinking how could I possibly be AF then.....I need to switch my thinking to one day at a time. Hope your work worries have been resolved today so they don’t wake you early tomorrow.

Googlybear having just the one is brilliant!

Craftycorvid you have hit the nail on the head. The nice warm fuzzy feeling.......doesn’t outweigh the anxiety it brings.

Still trying to familiarise myself with everyone so sorry if I’ve mixed anyone up.
Day 3.....again

Feeling good tonight, had a ginger ale with dinner and sneaky chocolate but haven't wanted a drink for the first day in forever! And I played with the kids in the playroom for 3 hours this evening while DH was out without wanting a drink or even thinking of switching the TV on. This is big for me because as much as I enjoy spending time with them (I'm a SAHM) I'm usually done in by the evening and really struggle to engage, play etc when DH is out. So I'm pretty pleased to feel like this.

Keep strong Babes

Hey guys, is it just me talking too much or has it for quiet? Don't worry if you've fallen off the bus - we go slow enough for people to hop back on anytime

I am on antibiotics as of today so have a legit reason not to drink, I find it much easier to abstain when a Dr tells me I can't.

Am eating too much cheese and chocolate though

I’m on holiday this week so might be a bit quiet. Didn’t have a drink last night I can’t remember the last time I had a dry night when I was on holiday. Probably when I was pregnant 10 years ago

Long day here! And not very good wifi coverage at work so no chance to be on my phone I’m planning to reward my work efforts with a nicely scented bath bomb later. Enjoy the chocolate, ginger ale and other treats you all have planned.

Morning All, sorry to be quiet, just lots of work and still not feeling a hundred percent.

Anyway, onwards and upwards, still af for me (since August 30th I think), but depressingly, no radical weight loss (grand total of 1.5kg) but at least no more gain. I need to begin to focus on that a bit more now.

Anyway, have a good day, see you later.

Day 5. Nearly tempted last night after a stressful crappy day in work, resisted so now get to spend my day off without a hangover. So true that you never regret not drinking.

Drank half a gin and tonic last night and poured the rest away. Annoyed that I’ve wasted what could have been an AF night. I don’t know if it might be more straightforward to just go AF given I don’t really crave drinks but I am worried about stuff like nights out and Christmas.

BakedBeans47 that’s brilliant, it’s not wasted. You had a few sips at best. Its not as if you had drained the glass then thought “sod it, I may as well carry on “ . Don’t beat yourself up.

Just been to a pub and had a lovely mocktail with seedlip. Nice to have something a bit grown up in a pub. And I can drive home!

Mega stressful day today but enjoyed my AF ginger ale this evening and didn't feel I needed alcohol. Had a coffee at 7.30pm which I never do as that's wine time so will probably not sleep now! But better than a hangover!

Hi girls I am hovering by the bus stop for the Brave Babes bus...I am new here!

I think I want to stop drinking - I am 27 and I never used to drink at all, I had a cannabis addiction which spanned 5 years, but I've not smoked that for well over a year now. (Fucking hard to quit mind, but glad I did) Beer seems to have backed the weed up, then replaced it. For the last 2 years, I drink every night, 4 cans minimum (4.8 or 5% lager) but could easily drink about 9 or 10 especially on a Saturday or Sunday.

I guess I have an addictive personality (my mum was/is an alcoholic also) and I struggle with my Aspergers, anxiety and depression - which I know alcohol is not helping, but feels relaxing and good at the time. And I've got myself into a bad cycle and nightly ritual.

It's causing me relationship problems with my partner now, we only fall out when we've had a drink, I say stupid things I don't mean, things get taken out of context and get out of control verbally. He remembers these conversations and resentment builds inside him for me, obviously. I feel guilty and want to take it back but I can't.

I just don't know where to start in quitting. I'm a crabbit miserable bastard if I've not got a beer in. I've been off it for a few days here and there but feel like I don't know what to do with myself.

I'm a SAHM to a toddler and even though she's so good and well behaved - I find myself clock-watching for the evening time to come and I'm bored stiff during the day. It's like I'm only happy and relaxed if I'm off my tits or tipsy.

I want to get a grip now before I get worse, lose my man and fuck my life and health up like my mum has. Any advice is welcome, I'm sorry, I didn't intend for this to be so long! I will read through other posts on the thread now and try and pull myself together instead of crying with guilt and self-pity!!

Hi Merida it’s a lovely bus with some lovely passengers

I had a serious ‘wobble’ after a couple of intense work days - just wanted someone to hand me the bottle and a straw! Really felt angry about not being able to just enjoy one drink and stop. But I didn’t give in to the urge. Feeling a bit sad though, that it’s a case of arguing with myself like this. But it is true about not regreting the drink you didn’t have. Early start and another full-on day ahead tomorrow so that wouldn’t be improved by a hangover and guilt.

Hi Merida

Another Scot? Guessing by the use of the word crabbit.

There are a lot of good “quit lit” books which might help with your feelings x worth a read.

Morning All.

Merida welcome, it's so easy t allow those habits (and units) to creep up. And then it gets to be a vicious circle, the booze sucks up your get up and go, and then becomes the only thing you really have any energy for. But you know that. Parenting toddlers is hard (being a parent is hard fullstops!), and yes can be boring, do you do anything for yourself, apart from drinking? If you can stop there would be more money and more energy. You're young, you have lots to gain from being af (true at any age), hold tight to your Bus ticket, you will get lots of support, and no judgement.

Bringback, Googly, Corvid well done for resisting in the face of stress. You're building new associations in your brain, stress=gingerbeer, no wine=better able to face tomorrow. It takes a while, but as I've said, I'm seriously associating super fruit tea with relaxation now.

*BakedBeans, well done on pouring away, af is the best for lots of us who struggle with moderation, the constant bargaining with ourselves is exhausting. But do it one day at a time (ODAaT), don't project forward, deal with each day as it comes and just don't drink for that day, and if you do, do it mindfully, examine why that day was different? How did you feel before, during, after?

I'm feeling a bit glum that after all these days I'm still too fat for most of the clothes I would want to wear to graduation (tomorrow), but I've kicked my own butt and booked a gym circuits class for the weekend (instead of old lady aqua! I love Aqua!). It won't help tomorrow, but I'm a long-term project, right?

Anyway, time to go to work. See you later.

‘I’m a long term project’. I like that, Sweet. In my case, a bit of a diy job with some of the screws possibly missing, and very peeling paint, but a project nonetheless. Nearly ready for a new base coat after a couple of months gentle sanding.
I think I’ve killed your analogy.
Waves to all. Doing ok here - bit bored, but ok.

Yeah ODaT certainly sounds the best way forward. Sitting here worrying about the Christmas night out in 8 weeks is a bit daft!