Brave Babes Battle Bus: Sunshine, Roses and Mocktails All Round

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus since 2014. Over the years, lots of us have maintained the thread, most of all the lovely Mouse, who has been here since the early days, and still scurries onboard when she can.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in. Driers and Triers, all welcome.

Summer offers all kinds of challenges for those of us trying to change our relationship to alcohol, pub gardens, summer holidays, school holidays, and apparently there's a big football tournament too. If you want to read where the bus has been so far this year here's the link to the
last thread

And in case you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread

The Bus is a bit of a Mumsnet institution, but it has an open door policy, no cliques, no judgement, and the welcome is always warm. So hop on and join us.

@beans @googly I had an awful night's sleep last night. Stayed up til three to try and knock myself out but my mind was racing when I went to bed. Tried to console myself that I wouldn't be hung over today but the tiredness doesn't feel that much better tbh!

Sorry to all you babes who had a crap night, it feels so unjust that you don’t even get a good night’s sleep after an af night. Hang on to the spark of pride that you did stay af though, it is in there under all the tiredness

Sweet it sounds like you enjoyed the Cock last night.....oo er. Sorry, couldn’t resist drags self out of the gutter!

Have a good day all x

I love soda and lime sweet I like quite a lot of lime though and most places only give a dash so I prefer to make my own!

Hello everyone. Woah, we’ve got busy! Fab! Lovely to see you all and feel surrounded by so much determination and positivity. And, err, Sweet’s Cock..

Anyway, all good here. I am fine 95% of the time, not drinking is becoming the new normal. But I am very mindful of the WW coming rearing up out of nowhere, when least expected. Not sure when if ever that will die down. Am still drinking lots of AF beer, two or three a day around this time onwards. I am fine with that but do sometimes worry if I’m just prolonging the taste and feel of alcohol and whether I should switch to lime and soda or something. Problem is the only drinks I actively like other than tea and coffee are water Diet Coke (not a realistic substitute!), becks blue .. or wine. Or on a really bad day, sherry. So I will stick to my becks blue and try to stop overthinking.

(On that note, I am overthinking Everything at the moment! It is like my brain has started firing up and is over extending itself now it is not wallowing in sodden Sancerre. Good, but also kind of unnerving.

Sweet, I’ve rebelled and done a Thursday footner. Lovely! I am all excited about the peel..

Sorry to everyone whose feeling a bit crappy and Foxs I know how you feel but the difference is this will pass - 6 months of hangovers is the alternative.

Could rain sounds help with getting to sleep? DP uses them for insomnia and says it helps him.

Had to go to a cocktail event today for work - had completely forgotten. Was given two cocktails on entry and then a negroni making class! Absolute hell. I was planning on having 1 unit today and managed to stick to that but means nothing tonight. I’ve been trying to phase down from approx. 90 units p/week to 20-25 and am on 12.5 as of today (End of day 5) so am well within my self imposed limit but... I just don’t want the drink. I mean I do... but I seem to have developed a real fear of letting go. Which is probably healthy?! And I don’t seem to be having any side effects so I might roll with it. DS will go to bed soon and then I’ll evaluate. Would only be one unit though.

evil I know what you mean. I had 3 weeks off largely because I was frightened to try again in case I didn’t stop. I had 3 glasses of wine though and was fine x

@evil I tried rain sounds before but didn't have much success. There's something about night time that makes me really struggle to switch off.

Hi all! Can I join? I've been on the Dry 18 thread until I heard that it's for those who want to give it up completely and was redirected here.

So for years I've been drinking most nights and for a tear at least it's been a bottle of prosecco a night. More on a weekend. The only days I didn't drink were when I was hungover. It was also creeping up to opening up a second bottle. I have experienced a few blackouts this year. Blackouts in the sense that I seemed awake and though drunk aware of what I was doing but I have absolutely no recollection of it. The things I did and said weren't really me. I have videos I recorded and I heard myself speaking and though sounded drunk, I was still coherent and it's scary that I can't remember a thing.

So, I decided to do dry Sept and I did. I have decided to not drink at home and only drink when I go out or on special occasions. I can't be doing with negotiating with myself every night so this way I hope to kick the habit for good. So far it's been fine and there have been days when I haven't even thought about it. Even when I have thought about it, it's not been too hard to keep myself busy and then move on. I have lost 4 kilos, my skin and eyes look much better so I'm happy with that. The first 4 weeks I lost my appetite too but the last 10 days I am eating for England. I'm annoyed as I still want to lose 10 kilos but I think I have found a different way of treating myself now! So got to address that. I'm very busy with work and loving house so feel I don't have time for hobbies but maybe i should just start drawing or knitting as a treat.

I already do a lot of exercise- walking my dog, sports and workouts.

I've only read the last few pages but I find being on here (well the other thread) really helps. And importantly makes me realise that everyone is going through similarly and even if you do slip, it doesn't mean you can't save it.

Beans did you find those three glasses made you crave alcohol more, afterwards? I’m less than a week into a major cut down and reset of how I drink, having admitted to myself I have a problem. So I suspect being paranoid is a good thing for quite some time...

foxs I imagine you’ve tried lots of things - have you tried Mark Bowden’s hypnosis app? It does cost money. I bought the ‘give up alcohol’ one and while I can’t attest to its effectiveness long term, it seems to have helped my willpower.

DS in bed, I poured out my unit (am not drinking my usual wine, but something I like a lot less) and threw it away after a few tips. Just made a herbal tea. I kept worrying I was poisoning my body. So. That’s new.

@evil I will look into that app, thanks. might be able to afford it with the money saved from no beer 😂 there will be no OH snoring and thrashing next to me this tonight so will be interested to see if that improves matters at all!

No evil it was fine. My issue is not so much craving it, it’s buying it iyswim. I buy it in anticipation of fancying a drink and then have to drink it once it’s there. As long as I don’t buy it, it’s fine. I’ve had a glass this evening too. My husband has drank the rest. He doesn’t generally drink much though

I’m back.

Fell off beginning of September after hitting 9.5 weeks. Didn’t see it coming. One minute I was posting how strong I felt and the next I was back on it as if I’d never been away. A mixture of boredom and frustration led to my demise. I was ‘used’ to drinking AF beers and I was still going out but I was doing really bloody well.
Then I went out and there was no AF in separate venues two nights running. A kid behind the bar said “it’s not the sort of place you should come to if you don’t want to drink”. He just made me see red and instead of ordering a soda and lime I ordered a pint
I’ve been getting worse, drinking every night and binging/ending up in stupid situations since that monumental fail.
So completed Day 1 yesterday and intending to stay dry again. I know I can do it but it’s really tough...
I’ve not been in a very great place mentally. I’m exhausted and skint and ill at the moment. I have to manage someone very difficult in work and no chance of getting rid and my ex has been being a bit of a tit. I’m not ‘meeting’ anyone and spend half my time thinking I don’t want to anyhow. So call it a culmination of the only thing I know to turn too.
But hoping I can come back on the bus.
Happy Friday to you all

Welcome @iron you can do it!

Day 3 for me. A hard Friday at work. Would definitely be a drinking night but I have none in the house and I bought chocolate and innocent smoothie earlier (trying to see if fizzy drinks are making me get up to pee at 3am! It's bloody annoying) although now really fancying ginger beer, I remember drinking that a lot when I was pregnant or when I couldn't drink due to a health problem. 6 months AF then and over Xmas, my hen night and my wedding! At least I didn't make a title of myself but what a waste. Maybe I've been making up for that this summer

Anyway. Cooking with my wine glass of smoothie in hand and feeling ok. Looking forward to hacing a drink though, but have decided to not have any at home... Unless the in-laws are over then I might need six one

Day four here. Took myself and DD (7) to the hairdresser's. The first time in four years I've managed to force myself to go. Have a bottle of AF red wine for this evening. First Friday in years since I've been AF \o/

Happy (and very stormy here) Friday to one and all. Enjoy the smoothie and AF Friday, Foxs. After a while it gets to be quite ‘OK’ settling down for the evening with nowt stronger than a cup of tea (and for me this means enjoying my menopausal lusting after Monty Don on ‘Gardeners’ World’ completely sober). Now there’s an image for you all to cherish as the weekend looms!

Very stormy here too Crafty. Looking forward to an evening on the couch. Without Monty Don though shudder

Hey Babes, love all the new faces and support but I am in a bit of spin with who is who and where everyone is on their journeys. Just keep posting away and I will catch up eventually .

musti. Hello! Of course you are very welcome here, we are a mixed group, some babes are completely dry and others are aiming to reduce their drinking. There are no hard and fast rules, we just aim to support each other while we work out our stuff

iron 9.5 weeks was a great run, welcome back up onto the wagon

I had a brief Friday ‘must drink wine’ moment earlier but it didn’t stay long. Opted instead for a cup of tea, 3 big squares of Lindt salted chocolate and a hangover free Saturday morning.

Have yourselves a good weekend xx

Morning all. I feel crap this morning as DD had me up a lot in the night. And I still had to get up to pee despite only drinking smoothie in the evening. Still, I made it through my first Friday night sober in ages and am feeling positive about sticking to this.

Though I found it very odd last night, DD was asleep and DS was outside with DH tinkering with the car and I just padded about and couldn't settle down without a proper drink. It was useful, I did all the washing up and tidied and wrote a Xmas shopping list and stuff but I couldn't settle with TV or a book or anything.
Tonight should be easier, strictly!

Have a good day Babes X

I’ve come to join you, 23 days AF then last night I caved I am another one that doesn’t have an off switch so it isn’t just a glass....or two. Of course this morning I feel dreadful. Haven’t had a hangover like this for a long time because usually I drink so much so regularly that I don’t get hangovers.

Hi @Musti I didn’t realise you were already on here.

I will have a read through and try to get to know everyone when my head is throbbing a little less!

Hi, Beaches Having been a long-time lurker, I sort of feel I know many of the babes already. It feels really good to talk (and stop lurking at the, erm, bus stop?) And I still have the ‘must drink wine’ spasms - not succumbed so far, but I’m trying to accept there could be the day I do succumb. To be very obvious about it, it’s a journey and a very personal one. One of my strangest ‘wobbles’ was looking at some beautiful wine glasses someone gave DH and I as a wedding present, and thinking how sad I’d be unable to enjoy them now. That lasted long enough for some common sense to kick in and for me to fill one of the glasses with tonic water

Googly bloody good job on your first AF Friday for a long time. Sounds like it was a bit tough. Treats are vital in the first few weeks, I found. I went unexpectedly bonkers for ice cream (and I don’t have a sweet tooth).

Bringback For what it’s worth, there were so many internal battles between knowing I have no ‘off’ switch, that the choice is abstinence or accepting that I drink more than I want to. 23 AF days is great. The hangover is part of the process of deciding in mind and body if that makes sense?

Morning Afternoon Babes. I'm just going to curl up on the back seat and nurse my fruit tea. I thought I'd kicked the bug, but it's come back with a vengeance.

Thursday Footner! Small you absolute hedonist.

Musti, welcome, as Beaches said, we have lots of different aims here, we accept that some people are looking for moderation (though lots of us come to the conclusion that we can't do it. All we ask (I think I speak for the Bus here), is that you don't give us a sip-by-sip account of how good it is . But we do welcome you to talk about the process and successes of moderating.

I have AF ginger ale and more chocolate for tonight. DH ate the last piece of yesterday's bar and he has said some stupid things today and pissed me off so I'm tempted to not share any of the new bar. Tbh if he pissed me off normally I'd have bought a bottle of wine and not shared any so its progress.

Morning All.

Googly, progress indeed. Now you need to think of a suitable revenge, I hope you ate the new bar slowly in front of him!

Feeling a little better this morning. I was so close to adding a bottle of wine to the shopping list yesterday; feeling sorry for myself, could feel worse so why abstain? But, I am so relieved this morning. If I'd given in I would have a cold and a hang-over this morning and I wouldn't have had a good night, so tired on top of that.

So it's true, no-one regrets NOT drinking the morning after.

Stay busy and stay af/moderate Babes.

A quiet Sunday on the bus....

Glad you are feeling a bit better Sweet, it’s miserable feeling ill. I have a migraine myself today, not incapacitating like some experience but a low grade pain in my right eye/cheek/head that lasts a few days. Bleuh. Still, wine is definitely not going to fix it, that is for sure. Day 26 for me.

Hello all other babes and lurkers