Brave Babes Battle Bus: Sunshine, Roses and Mocktails All Round

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus since 2014. Over the years, lots of us have maintained the thread, most of all the lovely Mouse, who has been here since the early days, and still scurries onboard when she can.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in. Driers and Triers, all welcome.

Summer offers all kinds of challenges for those of us trying to change our relationship to alcohol, pub gardens, summer holidays, school holidays, and apparently there's a big football tournament too. If you want to read where the bus has been so far this year here's the link to the
last thread

And in case you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread

The Bus is a bit of a Mumsnet institution, but it has an open door policy, no cliques, no judgement, and the welcome is always warm. So hop on and join us.

Beaches I didn't know Canada are legalizing marujana - that's mad although I do think it's a good idea. I don't think I could smoke it now though - it's been too long and I'm too out of practice. I see the temptation though.

I do miss smoking stuff. This year has been my most successful attempt at stopping smoking. Funny how it coincides with not drinking alcohol. I really wanted cigs today because I found a lighter in my handbag from ages ago. DS has managed to knock a cup of coffee in it (genuine accident) so the whole thing has been emptied and put in the washer. I'm so glad my phone survived. I've only had it 3 days!

Joey is your migraine any better? They're horrible. I don't get them but my nan used too.

Sweet I love having my pjs on early. I virtually live in mine. I put them on the same time as DS does so by 6pm most days.

I have Becks blue chilling in the fridge. Feel a bit meh today. My aunt died a couple of weeks ago (we were quite close) and I don't think it's really sunk in as the funeral isn't until next week. However DS realised today that we wouldn't see her at half term or Christmas or ever and got very upset. Proper sobbing and that upset me because I can't make it right either, then the coffee ended up in my handbag so we went to the toyshop to cheer up but DS bashed his lip and it bled so he cried again and it's all just a bit meh..so I'm going to watch Strictly and drink Becks blue.

Hello to Ma, Faire, Trust, Small, Mint etc

Hey ma. What have you been doing in Cyprus with the soldiers? Wait... not sure if I want to know

I have some pot stories but probably shouldn't share. Gave it up a long, long time ago and would not really be in favour of legalising. Where's the fun in doing something legal?

Anyway ma it's great to hear that you've been in touch with indie I often wonder how some of the 'old' babes are getting on.

joey hope your migraine improves soon. What's happened to your speech recognition posting. That used to make me laugh x

Hi to everyone. Sorry not to name check. Still catching up on what everyone's up to. Bear with...

Ma’s home! Good to see you pumpkin

The legalization thing is weird isn’t it, when most of our lives it has been on the other side of the law. My children are going to have a whole different experience as sits unremarkedly on the shelf next to the beer. It is going to be interesting to watch the shift in attitudes....or not. Hard to predict what effect it will have in general.

baking sorry to hear about your aunt Coffee in the handbag bag....yikes! Good job the phone survived but a bit of a tough day for you and your ds, hopefully the becks blue and strictly hit the spot.

Am headed for another early night here, sleep well babes xx

Morning All.

Baking, your poor ds, it's so hard to explain, and to see them hurting.

Ma, I could do with 'hot' right now, I'm missing the summer.

I was wide awake at 5am - this sound sleeping is all very well, but I wish it would last a little longer on the weekend! Also wish the weekend would last longer .

Plan for today is get a little housework done (rock 'n' roll life here), buy some bits for the bathroom we're having refitted, make sure I'm all prepped for tomorrows classes, walk dog (x2), food shopping, mow grass. Yeah, I need a longer weekend.

Morning from me too. Hey Ma, great to see you. Envious of Orkney!

Sweet, I am tired just reading about your day! But how great to be able to list all those things as things you not only have to do, but want to do and are in a state of mind to do, rather than sluggishly resenting them as unwanted obligations you trudge through in a fog of hangover.

And on that note, after nearly a month AF I am once again beginning to realise it is not really the hangovers themselves that are the main problem for me when I drink - they’re horrid but you feel they’re the price you have to pay and at least you’re aware of them and you know they have an end. It is the quieter, insidious stuff that is so corrosive, the pervasive impact on my wider state of mind - everything seems difficult so why bother starting it; everyone is ranged against me, getting in the way in a minor but constantly irritating sort of way; I am not mindful, I am less kind: I fly off the handle for no reason, and I have/make less proper time for myself or those around me. My kids get cuddles, sure, but always with half an eye to what I need to do next and whether they’re likely to knock the wine over whilst they’re at it. I don’t stop and hear them, intuit their needs. The list is endless: my priorities when drinking are hopelessly skewed.

I feel so much better now, I want to bottle this feeling and douse myself in it anytime I feel like reaching for a glass of wine. It is not even the elusive ‘boing’ (I still have a headache, dodgy skin and an excess of midriff and I am still overwhelmingly sleepy). It is simply a sense of time, space, peace and possibility. Life should always have been like this and I have compromised two decades of it in a vat of wine. (Not that they have been awful years at all - I have done a lot and had a lot of happy times and been super lucky. But they’re years which have been lived increasingly through a grey film of absenteeism from my self, if that makes any kind of sense).

Anyhow, I’m good. And I’m aware I’m at risk of making over ambitious promises never to drink again, which is always a dangerous state of mind. So, one day at a time - it is a glorious morning (though the sunshine is highlighting how much the windows need cleaning) and everything is possible. Or a few things, anyway, like hugs with children, lunch with friends, walk on the moors, cooking for the week and time with a book. Happy.

Hope you all have good days. Sorry for mega post.

With all this talk of 'oldies' on the bus, I'm just letting you know that I'm always around....

Ah ma Orkney... [sighs longingly] ...what a magical place. Although sunshine in Cyprus and hot ogling sounds OK too!

small interesting what you say about being absent from yourself. One of my friends (not an alcoholic, but enjoyed a drink) was about to pour her 3rd glass of wine when her dh (a very, very moderate drinker) said: "I never mind you drinking, relaxing, having fun, but you sort of 'disappear' after 2 glasses. I miss you then and it makes me feel sad."

Friend said it was food for thought, and she is much more mindful about the impact of drinking on her, and those she loves. And she realised that having a great relationship with her dh was more important than the next glass of wine. They are both mid-60s and now a very loved up couple

oh it's nice to be back!
Sober October starts tomorrow as does my 100K Frontline walk to commemorate 100 years since the end of WW1, and raise funds for the ABF, Soldiers' Charity.
Wish me luck with both.....

So much of what you say resonates here too small, very thought provoking post, thank you. I am feeling more present in my life at the moment, rather than running to catch up with myself and that is a very pleasant feeling. I am also not stressing so much about what is approaching, just trying to deal with things as they happen. Who knew?! Well done on the almost month

Ma what is with the walking? Is it a little bit each day and does every step count or is it more structured than that. Wonderful cause, best of luck with it and with the dry October.

I am walking with my friend this morning, it has become a nice Sunday morning habit, just the 2 of us and my dog. The sun is shining here. All is well. Happy Sunday babes

Small, that is so eloquent. Let's celebrate the possibilities of the next decade, not morn the loss of the last .

Do you know, Beaches, I hadn't even realised it was the last day of the month until I read your post, that means I have been AF the whole of September (and the last two days of August). Amazing how the days add up.

Well done sweet

Thanks, Venus, I'm looking forward to adding October to my clean tally.

beaches i have to do 100K between now and Remembrance Sunday on November 11th.
it's not a huge amount on average but if I miss a few days I am going to fall behind very quickly.

So if you aim for 3k a day you should stay pretty much on target. You’ll smash it Ma

Well done sweet on your af run, it is really suiting you. Sending you some ‘sleep until at least 5.30am’ vibes for tomorrow

Some photo’s from my walk this morning. X

Morning All.

Beaches that is glorious, and you have confirmed all of my ill-informed assumptions about Canada - you're a wild-woodswoman and go walking with bears! .

Ma, now Beaches has done the maths, I walk to work with SweetDog, it's about 4.5km and takes us about 50mins, but the first 20mins is a slow amble along the river so that he can sniff and mooch about. And I only have little legs, so you could cover ground much quicker, you'll soon clock up those km.

Unfortunately, I woke up at 4.15, I think the temperature dipped, and I have lots to remember to get done today, but I did go to bed at 9.30, so almost seven hours of good sleep before that.

Have a good day Babes, get Sober October off to a great start, and keep posting for support, you CAN do it.

Morning all. Commencing Sober October! It’s a commercial thing this year as well so I expect lots of people will be doing it. I’m feeling good already. A day in the garden today. It looks lovely out there! Have a good day everybody

You're right I think Trust, making it a 'thing' means that not only is there more support, but we are all hiding in plain sight! It does look glorious , so enjoy your day in the garden (help you sleep well tonight!), I have a nice view, but the sun comes through my office window and over heats the room, so I get to sit with the blind down and the light on!

Sober October for me too and day 1 of my 100km walk. Am actually looking forward to both in a masochistic kind of way. Hopefully will lose some weight too.

Great posts Small and venus. Lots of food for thought there.

Sober October for me too. Ma how are you going to record your distance, do you have a step count? If you do 10,000 steps a day that's 8km so should be ok if you can add all your daily steps. Or do they have to be above and beyond your daily steps?

I'm missing walking so much right now. I broke my little toe about six weeks ago and it's still not healed enough for proper walking

Beaches love the photos. I spent a few weeks in the Canadian Rockies years ago and the scenery was stunning.

That’s right sweet I am indeed a wild woodswoman who walks with bears, good guess . 4.15am noooooooo That is NOT morning, perhaps try late night, say 10.30

Trust hope your day in the garden fed your soul. I didn’t know Sober Oct was a commercial thing, seems like we have had a bit of a head start

Ma get moving, you have Km’s to do!

Faire I am far away from the Rockies but would love to go and soak up all that scenery one day. Sorry to hear about your toe, 6 weeks is a long time to go without a decent walk - sends magic toe healing powers straight at you (part of the woodswoman skill set)

I am off to the doctor today to discuss hormones, peri-menopause, mood swings but of course, as is always the way I am feeling quite upbeat and resourceful today. I always end up at the doctor feeling like a fraud.

Catch you later babes

Faire, I would be climbing the walls after six weeks, that seems a long time for a little toe, poor you.

Ma, how did the walk go?

Beaches I hate how symptoms seem to minimise just before you get to see the dr.

Well, another dry day, How has Oct. 1st been for everyone else?

Small? Trust, I hope it wasn't too cold in the garden?

5.8K done. Just short of the 6K on that route so will need to add a wee loop on. Can't update the bloody sponsor page for some reason so it's still showing zero which is annoying.

Day 1 of Sober October done which is probably more of an achievement to be honest.

Brilliant, Ma, you'll sleep soundly tonight.

Missing my Super Fruit tea tonight, I ran out over the weekend, and had to order online (none in Sainsbury's). But maybe if I don't drink so much I won't wake so early for wee.

Checking in, babes. All fine, if a bit trudge-y at work. Not that that’s even a word, but it’s the right feeling for today. I started the day with 8 difficult things on my to do list, successfully dodged all of them and have finished the day with 11. I am determined to do two of them now before I go to bed.. which is obviously why I am on here instead.

Beaches, how did the doctor go? Those whole symptoms are one of the reasons I am determined to try to crack the booze this time - for me at least they are hundred times worse when aided and abetted by wine.

Ma — brilliant. Well done on walk and day 1. Sweet, hello - and to venus Trustannd faire. So sorry if I’ve missed anyone - and for dull post. But I’m chuffed to have got September under my belt, and am feeling good. If trudge-y.

Small the doctor was good, she let me get some stuff off my chest. I agree with you, the drinking generally just exacerbates the symptoms, but I suspect my hormones are playing their part too. Cutting out the wine at least takes that influence out of the equation as I try and work things out. She gave me a prescription for a low dose AD which I am going to try, but I am a little unsure if they are really necessary. Some of the time I feel strong and focused, other times I feel exhausted and defeated. Ideally, they will level things out a bit, it is a first for me, I have resisted taking anything before. (If we ignore the vast amounts of wine )

Anyway, it sounds like sober Oct is off to a good start. Think of all those happy livers

Morning All.

Slept until 5am, then . . .fell back to sleep until 6 - heard not a word of farming today. WIN!

Small, I'm almost considering ditching the 'todo' list in my diary, it's depressingly long, I don't even put the complicated stuff on it some days! But I do always try to write in something I know I can tick off almost immediately, just for the satisfaction. Have you tried the Pomodoro technique with some of the more difficult tasks? It's pretty basic, but actually quite effective (pomodoro).

Beaches I wonder how many of my symptoms might be peri-menopause, at 47, I've probably got off pretty lightly in some ways, but my memory is shocking, and I recognise your description of exhausted defeat. I hope the ADs are some help.

Day 2 of Sober October, just think about today and not the whole month - I was actually surprised when I realised that it was the end of Sept. and I'd been a whole month af, you Can do it.