Brave Babes Battle Bus: Sunshine, Roses and Mocktails All Round

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus since 2014. Over the years, lots of us have maintained the thread, most of all the lovely Mouse, who has been here since the early days, and still scurries onboard when she can.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in. Driers and Triers, all welcome.

Summer offers all kinds of challenges for those of us trying to change our relationship to alcohol, pub gardens, summer holidays, school holidays, and apparently there's a big football tournament too. If you want to read where the bus has been so far this year here's the link to the
last thread

And in case you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread

The Bus is a bit of a Mumsnet institution, but it has an open door policy, no cliques, no judgement, and the welcome is always warm. So hop on and join us.

Climbs aboard clutching lifetime ticket. Am on day 7 after a long and overly indulgent summer. Feeling so much better mentally and my anxiety has reduced noticeably.

The year began well and I clocked over 100 af days on the dry Jan app then I fell right back into bad habits. It was sort of deliberate but gathered momentum, the way it does until the thought of one night af became insurmountable. My planned dry sept didn’t begin until the 18th and despite vowing daily, I was stuck in the vortex. It’s like trying to pull away from a very high suction vacuum.

Thanks for the shout out to old babes Sweet I feel more old than babe but it is always a comfort to be back on the bus. I hope your first day back with the students went well. Waves to small and joey, peers over the seats to see if Spanna has dropped in, can’t spot ma but see lots of babes on board. [Smile]

Hello Beaches, lovely to see you. Everything you say resonates totally and makes utter sense. Climb back on and we’ll see where we all get to - isn’t it such a comfort to know this bus just trundles on and we can hop on and off without anyone batting an eyelid.

It sure is small. Thank heavens for the bus and all the babes. There are few people in real life who I can be frank with about my drinking, not many even realize the amount I can and do consume as I tend to prefer to do it at home with dh. So yes, I am glad to hop back on and see where we go

Evening. A bit gravelly from too much speaking, but I made it through . Beaches, old stick, lovely to see you - high suction vacuum - that about sums it up! For some reason, MN is not letting me do returns, so apologies for the lack of paragraphs! I'm having a fairly strenuous, but pointless, interior debate about how much I would like a glass of wine at the moment. Strenuous because I am resisting and I know the reasons are good. Pointless because there is no wine in the house and I am not doing out again before tomorrow for anyone.

Sweet after a long and strenuous day that miserable wine witch gets very noisy. Hope you sat on her successfully. I am pondering your interior debate - is that posher than the plain old internal debate? Certainly sounds like it would have more cushions and fabrics . Oh no, my return button is also defunct and I really like paragraphs. I best not drivel on then. Settles down on the night bus..

Morning All. Beaches - still no return button pleased it's not just me! My brain was seven sorts of fried last night, if there are any curtains, they aren't quite hung right, don't meet in the middle, and the scatter cushions need a good plumping! I kept the WW at bay by not being able to keep my eyes open beyond 9 and slept right through until 5.30. I have woken up with a headache and groggy feeling but at least I know that it will go and isn't my own fault.

I'm putting the headache down to my brain still resetting itself, day 27 (125 for the year) today. I want to start imagining myself AF in the longer term but without projecting. Off to ask MN if the return thing is down to them!

Sorry Babes, the multiple posting is in lieu of paragraphs. If you are planning on doing Sober for October, hop on a few days early, sit in the sidecar and do some planning. Get yourself in the groove, treat yourself to some special hot chocolate and a cosy set of autumn pjs and do something good just for you.

Morning all just off to work. I’m with you Sweet and going to continue dry September into Sober October. Yoga tonight after work and trying to eat healthy. Have a good day everybody

Excellent Trust.

MNHQ are aware of the paragraphing glitch and working on it. They may already have fixed it but I'm on a PC not a Mac now so that may also make a difference.

Not sure if anyone else wears a Fitbit/tracker but I have noticed after a week af that my resting heart rate has dropped from low 70’s to low 60’s and I am sleeping almost an hour more a night. That has got to be good right?

Oh look Sweet a new shiny paragraph not surprised you have a headache after yesterday - a big day in your calendar year, all that talking and concentrating with new students.

Have a good day all xx

Hey all. Hope everyone is doing well.

Sweet, in my quest to copy everything you do, I have also woken up with a headache for the last three days. The first two of those it dissipated quite quickly, today it hasn’t and is resisting all drugs.

I can’t see anything much online about withdrawal headaches after three weeks AF but I guess it is possible. I also wonder if it has something to do with my sleep - which is so deep it is (just!) possible I am dehydrating myself with all the snoring..

But don’t tell my DH I just posited that theory. In all conversations with him, the position is crystal clear - I Do Not Snore.

The dehydraytion theory is obviously nonsense small, we all KNOW you don’t snore . I hope your headache got better as the day went on.

It is only early afternoon here (Canada) but my resolve is waining. Not sure why exactly, hormones/work concerns nothing too out of the ordinary but don’t want to deal with any of it. Ok, deep breath and hoist those big girl pants up a bit higher. KOKO babes x

Home at last.

Small, I think the deep sleep is probably the culprit. You're right there's not a lot on line about the process the body goes through and what there is seems to be about very very heavy drinkers who experience DTs. There is this from Club Soda about how long withdrawal actually takes. Anyway, hope you're feeling better now.

Hang on in there Beaches, remember that those thoughts will subside. Distract yourself.

It's almost pj time, dinner is in the oven, then it's Bake Off and bed for me.

Hello all, I've been feeling a tad guilty about my failure to keep up with the thread. It's been quite a while.

I'm still AF for 2018. Not sure how many days but it's nearly 9 months. I did my first sober wedding although I left fairly early (9.30) as everyone was slaughtered and I was getting lonely. It was in the middle of nowhere so I was stressing about driving home too.

I'm unsure what to do about staying AF long term. I've kind of told everyone I'm doing a dry 2018 but I don't know...I still cling to this idea that I could moderate and it doesn't have to be every day but I think I lack the will power to keep that up. I think I might be a bit scared of starting again.

Sweet I haven't watched Bake off tonight (it's recorded) in favour of Killing Eve on bbc iplayer. I'm over half way through (started last night) and it's been excellent. Well worth a watch.

Morning all.
Baking it is so good to hear from you and amazing that you have done 9 months AF. You must be so proud of yourself. Such an inspiration. We started Dry January together. I didn’t keep it up but have been managing Dry September (one small blip) and intend to carry on for Sober October! What are the changes you have seen in your life over the 9 months?
I’m seeing a few changes in just a month such as better sleep (Beaches I have a Fitbit and agree with you re the lower resting heart rate. I’m not getting more sleep but it is better and less hot sweats in the night which is a major reason for going AF) I am losing weight (slowly) and I just feel happier with myself. I intend to do Sober October then see what happens after that. It will be my biggest achievement AF.
Sweet thanks for the link to club soda. I’ve not looked at it before but there are some great tips and articles so will join up.
Just going to do my home yoga stretches before work.
Have a good day everybody

Morning to Small as well hope your headaches are getting better. I agree re the deep sleeps. I also find my mouth is really dry a lot during the night and in the morning (possible snoring too )

Morning.

Welcome back Baking, nine months is a HUGE achievement. Can you reframe how you felt about the wedding? You knew how you were getting home, have no embarrassment, no hangover, and you know just how dull drink people can be - or funny if you're in a position to tell them exactly what they did! I'm watching Killing Eve 'OldSkool' as it's broadcast, but only because I have so many other good dramas to keep up with! I agreed it is brilliant. The moderation debate is so difficult isn't it? But a problem drinker who can become a genuinely moderate is a rare thing indeed. Do you think some of your reaction to other people is because your non-drinking threatens them and your trying to appease? "I'm just doing 2018"?

Trust I really like Club Sober, on of the founders just gave back an award - top 50 radical organisations or something similar - because the awards ceremony only offered warm orange juice or tap water as af alternatives to Champagne, despite having consulted in the past how to host inclusive events. Like the bus, they are not a wholly dry group, there are moderating and abstaining members and its all good.

Another early night, slept through until 5, and now fresh and ready to get going. My skin is smoother, but I haven't had the amazing glow I've had in the past, I guess I'm just getting old. Anyway, have a good day, Small, Beaches, any other lurking Babes, be the best you can be today.

It doesn't quite match up to Mint's stunning scenery, but this is our morning walk to work (easier to appreciate without a hangover!)

Baking congratulations on 9 months, you must have weathered lots of highs and lows without the usual crutch. I totally get why you might be scared of starting again but for now you don’t have to think about that, there’s quite a bit if 2018 left keep on inspiring us!

trust sounds like you are really benefitting from being af and it is good to hear someone else is noticing the drop in resting heart rate. It really illustrates the way alcohol affects us in general, not just when we have a glass in hand.

I am trying to up my daily steps, eat lower carbs and not drink. All those things make me feel better mentally but I still have to remind my brain of that several —hundred— times a day. Loving the deep sleep though, if only I was rich enough to pay someone to make me a fresh bed every day....

sweet to me sleeping through until 5 does not sound like a win, isn’t that still the middle of the night?! I know, I know, you are an early bird type

small is that you snoring at the back of the bus?

Beaches - bed at 9 means that 5am is eight hours sleep. I'd rather it was 10-6, but eight hours, is eight hours! .

I just had a 'having to remind myself moment', really wanted a G&T, or something, anything, I know the trigger, there is an email in my in box that I don't want to answer and it's making me anxious. But I poured myself a tonic, just that and ice, it seems to have done the trick.

Ooh, yes, Beaches - a lovely fresh crisp bed every day - I would adore that. Maybe with all the money saved from not drinking I can actually afford that.. Anyway, sleep is interesting - I woke for ages at 2am, for the first time in a while. But it was calm, thoughtful and introspective - I had a chat with myself and went to sleep again after half an hour or so. Had I been drinking I’d have been a shaky, self-recriminatory wreck. So, onwards and upwards. Tired, but no headache today.

Sweet, I’m staring sternly at that email of yours, with my laser eyes. Has it dematerialised yet? I’m feeling omnipotent (or something) today. Becks Blue is a wonder substance.

Trust, hello, I’m so glad you’re planning to do sober october too.

Nice to see the bus filling up again. We’re all being jolly well behaved, too! Most disconcerting.

Small, you must have a magic Paddington-style 'hard stare'. Yes, it's gone, taking some of my workload with it - not quite in the way I would have chosen, but less marking will be the ultimate result. I've found that I can go back to sleep more easily now. I got to the point when I was drinking that I would wake up at 3 and not sleep again.

You are right though, we are all being terribly well behaved!

In TMI news, my footner 'peel' has started . . . goody, goody, something else to fill my evenings!

Yay, a footner! Must do mine.

small I’ve found sober (ish) Christmas fairly easy, as I can plan ahead and anticipate any problems. I would buy myself something to look forward to (a good book, magazine, game on the iPad) and then abandon the drunk, quarrelling relatives with a cheery “off to bed, such a long day!” and get a good nights sleep. Plus you’re guaranteed a present you really like for Christmas

Contrast that with an alcoholic one: drink, argue with in-laws, feel hot, headachy and tired, drink more to appease boredom. Stay up later than everyone else so that I can have another drink in secret. Make a couple of stupidly indiscreet phone calls. Toss and turn, going over the daft things I said to my MIL, unable to sleep. Raging with thirst, get up to go to the loo, trip over their Dog which wakes the whole house. Oversleep the next day, giving MIL another reason to Make Comments. (And PS. Nobody is fooled by the staying up late, and I knew that - which made me paranoid that everyone was talking behind my back)

Sound familiar?

All quiet on the western front...

joey you make a good argument for the sober Christmas - drinking headache, inlaw quarrelling followed by self doubt does not sound even slightly appealing.