Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I didn't ACTUALLY realise this was a thing....... *TMI ALERT*

123 replies

dramabeanqueen · 10/06/2018 15:56

Things not good in relationship. Fine for long periods of time then hit a crisis point. Sore points are In Laws who hate me and DH's obsessional control over household money. Anyway...

Here is TMI so sorry in advance:

This morning whilst half asleep I could feel the bed shaking a bit. I realised that DH was actually masturbating. I pretended to still be asleep until it was over. OK not a big deal. I supposes he has the right to masturbate in his own bed... right?? Even though I would never masturbate in our bed with him right beside me. Would only do it in private. But anyway, it's not even about the masturbation per se.

What he DID do however was masturbate into a sock. I had no idea that was actually a THING?! I thought that was just a big media joke but it seems that this actually does exist? Not only that but he left the sock lying on the floor next to the bed. Now that it is much later in the day, he has put the sock into the washing basket. BUT I am the person in the house who does all the laundry.

I am quite frankly disgusted.
Am I wrong to feel disgusted about any of the above?
Either masturbating right beside me? Or the sock?
Or leaving it lying on the floor beside the bed?
I feel repulsed by all of it if I am honest.

Need other perspective/Viewpoints..... please. Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
dramabeanqueen · 10/06/2018 17:16

And he is constantly dangling in my face about how HE earns all the money etc.

OP posts:
kateandme · 10/06/2018 17:17

percheron67 look up the American pie movie and apple pies...

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore · 10/06/2018 17:17

@percheron67 American Pie - movie reference.

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore · 10/06/2018 17:18

Thanks @kateandme 😂

kateandme · 10/06/2018 17:19

do you think you can save your relationship?if you say its been bad for some times and this is just another thing that's added to that.do you need to start thinking of your future together

kateandme · 10/06/2018 17:19

lorelaivictoriagilmore your welcome haha

Missingstreetlife · 10/06/2018 17:20

Don't mind the wanking, don't think he should wake you, or expect you to clean up
At least he should rinse the sock, ick, or put it in the machine himself
Least of your problems tho, his whole attitude is wrong.

Sparklingbrook · 10/06/2018 17:24

Teen boys = crispy socks in laundry. Well known.

Two teen boys live here. I have never found one yet so not always!

Sounds like it's the latest in a few things that are irritating you about him OP.

katseyes7 · 10/06/2018 17:25

Something similar has happened to me. My ex husband used to 'start' in bed when he thought l was asleep. Til l shouted at him.
Later on when things were really on the rocks (l apologise in advance for waaaaay too much information, but l swear this is true) and we were in separate rooms, l was hoovering upstairs (l worked shifts, he was at work at the time) and under his bed were tons (and l mean, tons) of bits of kitchen roll. Which had been 'used' and just chucked under the bed and left. There were so many, god only knows how long they'd been there.
Needless to say, this is only one reason why he's 'ex'....

Sarahlou63 · 10/06/2018 17:26

If you weren't having problems in other areas would you think differently? From my reading of the thread this is possible the final straw in a relationship that's under strain...

MrsTerryPratchett · 10/06/2018 17:28

He sounds horrible, which does put a different spin on things WineThanks

Juells · 10/06/2018 17:28

Drape the sock tastefully on his pillow and say nothing 😂

percheron67 · 10/06/2018 17:30

Lorelai. Thank you so much. I shall have to see the film now! Glad I am not in the dark now.. thinks...………. tea cosies, woolly hats …….. all sorts of visions appearing in head.

dramabeanqueen · 10/06/2018 17:52

He works very hard. And is a good dad. Doesn't seem to know how to be in a relationship. Even after years.

OP posts:
dramabeanqueen · 10/06/2018 17:53

I'm trying to find reasons to stay if I'm honest.

OP posts:
dramabeanqueen · 10/06/2018 17:55

I am liking the idea of draping the sock tastefully on his pillow!

But then, would it be mean of me to embarrass him like that?

OP posts:
MarieG10 · 10/06/2018 18:02

Don't find reasons to stay. If they exist you don't need to look for them

Juells · 10/06/2018 18:06

But then, would it be mean of me to embarrass him like that?

Would it be mean of someone to wank in the bed next to you and then leave the sock on the floor all day before putting it in the laundry basket for you to handle and wash?

dramabeanqueen · 10/06/2018 18:23

*trying to find reasons to stay for the sake of kids

OP posts:
Slundle · 10/06/2018 18:39

I think actions speak louder than words. It might be an idea to just take the sock out of the laundry & leave it on the floor where he threw it...alternatively, you could wake him up with your own masturbation OR verbalise to him exactly what you've written to us ...

IsaidMrDarcynotArsey · 10/06/2018 19:35

Missing the point completely here - he texts what, to who now? Ole ‘wanky toes’ is disrespectful all round - sock wanking is positively courteous compared to his more troubling behaviours re money and being the big I am by text. Get a full time job, tell him childcare will be coming from family funds. It sounds to me like you need to get away from his suffocating influence . You need a fresh perspective away from him, even if it’s part time through work.

dramabeanqueen · 10/06/2018 20:34

I totally offered to get work. It was what we agreed together when we first had children. He would work and I would look after children.

OP posts:
Juells · 10/06/2018 20:41

Time to change the terms of the agreement, and go back to work and get out from his control.

midnightmisssuki · 10/06/2018 20:50

isn't it something uni students do - i used to know friends in uni that used to do it. Lazy guys couldn't even bother to get tissues!

MrsDilber · 10/06/2018 20:55

I'd have to say something.