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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I didn't ACTUALLY realise this was a thing....... *TMI ALERT*

123 replies

dramabeanqueen · 10/06/2018 15:56

Things not good in relationship. Fine for long periods of time then hit a crisis point. Sore points are In Laws who hate me and DH's obsessional control over household money. Anyway...

Here is TMI so sorry in advance:

This morning whilst half asleep I could feel the bed shaking a bit. I realised that DH was actually masturbating. I pretended to still be asleep until it was over. OK not a big deal. I supposes he has the right to masturbate in his own bed... right?? Even though I would never masturbate in our bed with him right beside me. Would only do it in private. But anyway, it's not even about the masturbation per se.

What he DID do however was masturbate into a sock. I had no idea that was actually a THING?! I thought that was just a big media joke but it seems that this actually does exist? Not only that but he left the sock lying on the floor next to the bed. Now that it is much later in the day, he has put the sock into the washing basket. BUT I am the person in the house who does all the laundry.

I am quite frankly disgusted.
Am I wrong to feel disgusted about any of the above?
Either masturbating right beside me? Or the sock?
Or leaving it lying on the floor beside the bed?
I feel repulsed by all of it if I am honest.

Need other perspective/Viewpoints..... please. Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 10/06/2018 16:37

Why do you do all the wanky laundry?

dramabeanqueen · 10/06/2018 16:40

I do all the laundry because he is working full time and I am full time stay at home mum currently. I have read all the comments so far and don't know what to do. Just feeling really upset.

OP posts:
Kittykat93 · 10/06/2018 16:41

I wouldn't be happy with my dp wanking right next to me in bed, I don't think it's a big ask to do it when in private. And don't wash his wanky sock!

Definitely have a chat about it if it's bothering you.

wagil · 10/06/2018 16:41

It's not that bad really though, worse things than wanky socks go in the wash surely.

It's the contempt of him expecting you to pick it up, as though you're the laundry maid, that's the problem.

PixelAteMe · 10/06/2018 16:42

When my DS was a teenager I thought for a long time that he had an allergy to dust mites because of the amount of Kleenex I used to find next to his bed Confused

RabbitsAreTasty · 10/06/2018 16:42

Surely the financial abuse is your real issue and this is just another, more minor, example of him being a dick.

No break up with children is every easy. Lots of people manage to do it anyway. What do you need to make the break?

binglyboo · 10/06/2018 16:44

Why do men wank into socks though? I've never understood this.

furandchandeliers · 10/06/2018 16:44

Oh god LTB op, he sounds grim Shock

PixelAteMe · 10/06/2018 16:44

I do think you should speak to him about it, OP. This is just wrong and disrespectful, he’s not 15.

mimibunz · 10/06/2018 16:46

I don’t understand your reaction, OP. It seems OTT.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 10/06/2018 16:48

Oh that's gross.
I know teen boys often have wank-socks, but your own husband - urgh!!
Make him wash it himself, the grungy bastard!

hopelessandhopeful · 10/06/2018 16:51

My OH does it in socks and yes I wash them. Just one of those things.

hopelessandhopeful · 10/06/2018 16:52

For me I'd be more pissed off at masturbating right beside me.

Sunbelina · 10/06/2018 16:54

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

DarkDarkNight · 10/06/2018 16:55

Oh please do what Noonelikesfruitcake says Grin

I would find it a bit weird and grim. I have no problem with an adult maxturbating, but a bit weird next to you in bed while he thinks you’re sleeping.

madcatladyforever · 10/06/2018 16:55

i am sooooo overjoyed that i live on my own!!

Temporaryanonymity · 10/06/2018 16:58

Why does it bother you so much?

OlennasWimple · 10/06/2018 16:59

Get him a penis beaker?

Juells · 10/06/2018 17:00

@madcatladyforever

i am sooooo overjoyed that i live on my own!!

😂 I know! Someone asked me recently if I ever missed having a man about the place, but then burst out laughing immediately afterwards.

kateandme · 10/06/2018 17:08

oh im sorry.this sounds awful.i don't want to heighten you own distress over this by saying this but I find them awful!
could you talk to him about this...
I woud want my dh doing it with me in the same bed never mind a sock.
not much advice or any help to offer here.but ive read it and feel for you so I wanted to say so.
oh and im applauding the wanky toes idea.deff do this!

BubblingUp · 10/06/2018 17:08

Yes, discovered sock wanking was a thing when I had a teenage son. I tossed them in the trash though. I was not about to wash these crispy things that were often shoved behind the bed. Socks are cheap.

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore · 10/06/2018 17:09

Recommend that you don't put apple pies on the shopping list.

kateandme · 10/06/2018 17:10

its ok to be upset hun.youve got support here.lots of hugs being sent across the waves.
is there anything you can do for the rest of the day to bring some relax back into your frame of mind.to try and get some comfort back to a day where you've been upset.try and take your mind off it for a bit as I suspect your thoughts are just going round and round right now and ul get nowhere but more upset when it gets to this point

percheron67 · 10/06/2018 17:14

Lorelai - am completely lost. What have apple pies got to do with socks (on feet or willies)?

dramabeanqueen · 10/06/2018 17:15

I think the reason I feel so upset as it seems to be yet another example of how little respect he has for me. I saw examples of how he disrespects me on text messages this week ie he can't even refer to me by my name when talking to his workmates. It's all 'SHE'S away to...' and 'things with HER are' etc

OP posts: