Yes. That is because he is trying to destroy any self esteem you might have so that you'll never be able to leave. So that you will believe his treatment is the best you could ever expect, that nobody would ever love you, and therefore won't see the point of trying to leave.
It's clearly worked.
He's not misguided. He is deliberately abusive.
He doesn't lose his temper. He kicks off when you don't do what he wants.
It's really sad that your idea of a good day is of you bending over to be perfect and work as his maid without him kicking off at you.
No abuser will use every single one of the possible abusive tactics available. That doesn't mean he's not hideously abusive! You still seem to be grasping at anything, however flimsy, to "prove" that he isn't that bad.
He is abusing you. That is as bad as it gets. I am disturbed that your counsellor is talking about him getting help to "sort himself out". That is not how abuse works.
Abuse is a deliberate choice. It's not an anger issue or inadvertent or accidental. It is a deliberate choice.
The only reason you're struggling to see and accept that right now is because abuse is all you have ever known your whole life. You don't have a non-abusive baseline to compare any of this to.
I used to know someone who confronted her abusive partner similarly to you. He told her he would change and went off and did a course. He used that course to learn how to refine his tactics, and came back even more abusive and manipulative, and even better than he had been before at pulling the wool over everybody else's eyes. He became even more controlling and hurtful, but in more subtle ways. She eventually left him.
This is why reputable perpetrator programmes work with the women as well to teach them to identify abuse and the mind games used, and generally will not accept perpetrators who are still in a relationship with the person they were abusing. They need to be committed to changing for their own benefit, not as a way of keeping control of their partner.
You are right that you need to work on sorting your own head out so you can protect yourself from other abusers. Part of that will be learning about abuse and spotting the subtle signs and forms as well as our social/cultural conditioning (Freedom Programme), part of that will be counselling.
But you should be aware now there is only so far you can go while you're still living with him, with him undermining the work you are trying to do, making you question your own mind, and breaking you down. It gets to a point where it feels like your head is in a washing machine, spinning wildly between his make believe version of reality, and the truth you have been learning.
It is ok if you don't feel able to leave now, just don't hide your head in the sand.
If he loved you at all he would have left to protect you from his abuse. A person who loves you would never abuse you like he does. This isn't love.
You sound kind, smart, caring, determined, brave, compassionate, resourceful... My goodness, you could build such a happy, beautiful life for yourself one day. I really hope you get there.