Am I being love bombed?

[Neweternal]

I met this guy for a date and yes I like him but after one, one short date (one drink) . He tells me he is in love and that's it I'm the woman for him, he can wait to have sex months and months. I'm not sure. I have had other men being keen and very available after a short time but this is different as I feel a bit of pressure to commit when I haven't had enough time to be sure about him. I do like him a lot, but I'm wary. Any advice? He is nearly 50, his kids are at boarding school I'm early 40s. How do you know the difference between being over amorous and a potential abuser. To be fair he good friends with both his ex wives.

He’s manipulating you already, he’s making it sound like there’s something wrong with you!! Not good...

He's never given his heart away to another woman before like this? Why did he marry two of them then?! Have children with them?
Listen in all of my investigations into NPD I realised something crucial...they bait us/you with our own mild/moderate unconscious narcissim(no offence meant because we all have some components of narcissim to our personality there's just a difference between it being full blown disorders or not)..the whole being told you're/we're so special/beautiful/amazing and thinking that this relationship is so special/wonderful/superior to other 'regular' people is part of the hook.
It's that that keeps you fighting well after it goes down/abusive/destructive..it's so special, once in a lifetime, soulmate material.
Nope. No.
However you're going to give him a second go despite all this so please take care. I hope you find what you're looking for.

Dh says he fell in love with me the moment he saw me, we were together within a week, decided to get married within six months and are still together nearly 30 years later.

And this still seems like waaay too much to me. Even though dh and I were very sure very early on that we were going to be together for the long haul, we were both watching each other to see if the other was feeling the same before we made our feelings clear. Which strikes me as a fairly normal thing to do?

This guy is railroading you into a commitment you aren't sure you are ready for yet. If he is railroading you like this this soon, he will continue to do it for the rest of your relationship (if you decide you want one).

He's never given his heart away to another woman before!!?? RUN!!!!!!!!!

If you do go on a second date I'd be telling him to slow the fuck down. Bet you anything he'll sulk.

I'm another one who finds the Facebook account with only 20 friends and calls from family during the date, very odd. He's not who he says he is, I bet.

I'm not sure he is that concerned by my feelings about this, this is about himself

Good spot @Neweternal

all his messages it's full of Me or I or My. It's very ego centric. That's not love.

This reads to me as if he doesn't care for you as a person, because he hardly knows anything about you, but he sees you as a potentially promising object who he is testing, to see how they react to control

This kind of behaviour is not in the least attractive to me. I love the process of getting to know people, the listening, and asking questions which help you each open up to the other. How much is he listening to you, how interested does he appear to be in you, your likes and dislikes, what makes you tick rather than how you fit into his world ( and how you should behave...)

It might be worth investigating why someone who does not normally trust without good reason does find this overwhelmingly, suffocating approach to relationships

Ah, yes, what @TheSecondMrsAshwell said So is the delicious slow process of falling in love normally.

I advise caution. Second ex-wife here of a love bomber. Ex-H's first wife was equally love bombed. Indeed he left his home town 200 miles away overnight, having only once served her as a customer while visiting a branch near her home. He love bombed me like no tomorrow. We were married within a year. Unfortunately he then went on love bomb a woman whose husband had just been killed in a bike crash (although unbeknown to me, they had been shagging on and off throughout our marraige) but he neatly slipped his feet into her late husband's slippers within a few months and now lives the life of riley on the back of a tragic death. Sorry for all the detail, but the description you give is all so awfully familiar. I am not saying not to continue on and see how it goes, but I think you might find the pressure is immense. You are clearly switched on and aware though, so unlikely to be taken in as I was (vulnerable single parent).

On the other hand, my Dad told my Mum he was going to marry her on their first date. She told him politely where to go. 40 years later, he sat holding her as she died. So it does happen. However, if your instincts are telling you otherwise, you know what to do

@Neweternal I hope you don't mind me saying but I find it shallow and off putting when people declare there love too quick

I am a very strong and impulsive character, I have pretty much always made a move myself on a man I liked and I proposed to my DH after only a couple of months of dating (although I had known him a year before that as a friend...).

However I can assure you that even I would never had declared love at first sight, not even in my 20s when I was pretty full on. It just would not have felt genuine, he is at best immature, confusing lust with love. You can't love a person after meeting them for a drink ; you might love the sounds and look of them, be strongly intrigued and attracted...but love? No.

Finally, I do believe that if you are instinctive you would have given your heart away many many times, people who are like me and wear their heart on their sleeve tend to fall for people more easily, so I am not sure why he has never loved. I am sure he didn't tell his past two wives that he didn't love them. So much is amiss but I think you know that, OP.

If it feels wrong, it’s wrong.

He sounds like a fucking loon.