Am I being love bombed?

[Neweternal]

I met this guy for a date and yes I like him but after one, one short date (one drink) . He tells me he is in love and that's it I'm the woman for him, he can wait to have sex months and months. I'm not sure. I have had other men being keen and very available after a short time but this is different as I feel a bit of pressure to commit when I haven't had enough time to be sure about him. I do like him a lot, but I'm wary. Any advice? He is nearly 50, his kids are at boarding school I'm early 40s. How do you know the difference between being over amorous and a potential abuser. To be fair he good friends with both his ex wives.

Run now... it’s not normal, plus I would be very concerned about the two ex-wife issue. I’ve just become ex wife number 2 and exh is currently lovebombing next victim. I can only imagine what lies he’s telling her about why is two previous marriages ended but I’ll tell you now, it won’t be because he cheated, gambled, is a compulsive liar, controller, manipulator, totall narcissist!

I really would back right off from this man, real red flag here..

Thank you for all the responses. I tend to agree with all the posters that say this could be dodgy. I am certain his family are who he says they are everyone on Facebook he is close to and I'm sure the family are loving. During the date he had phone calls of family members.

Part of me finds this uncomfortable and suffocating and part of me (the completely stupid part), thinks well I always wanted a man who knows what he wants and is instinctive. I know that sounds ridiculous and immature of myself.

I do have my doubts though, lots of them! But I did like him a lot but this is just scaring me.

I want to love you with all my heart.
You have me 100%
Stop putting up barricades love is an amazing thing.
Please don't hurt me.
I wish you could trust me

This makes me feel uncomfortable and guilty. I'm not sure he is that concerned by my feelings about this, this is about himself. Wish he had shut up, he had such potential before that!

Too soon to tell. It's good that you're wary, hold on to that. I'd give it a little bit longer and see what else comes up. He could just be very insecure and running like mad is hardly going to help him. I'm very clingy at the start of a relationship (although not this full on) and need about a month or so to get comfy enough not to be a loon. Most, but not all boyfriends ran for the hills, not surprisingly. DH stuck it out, but then he's clingy too. Fourteen years on, he now complains I'm not clingy enough. Still, it's reassuring you're already wondering if you're being lovebombed.

Dump please!
I've just had to dump someone like this.
It's been hard extricate myself but I've finally managed it.
And this was after 3 months!!!
He was just so needy and clingy and I couldn't bear it after 2 months.
Don't be me!
Get out now.

He is a man of his word and never cheated, - how ON EARTH can you know that after one date? One drink?

Your comment that you want someone who knows what he wants, and is instinctive - sounds to me like you want someone fairytale. Someone to whisk you away and be your one love forever and ever. Try the real world?

You need to get to know someone first, before you commit in any way. Tell him to back off, or back off yourself. Cool it. (I'd be running for the door)

I once met a guy - lovely, chatty, lots on common. He used to text me, telling me how lovely I was, how he was 'in love with me' (after a couple of dates) and how he wanted to dress me in floral dresses and run through the daisies with me.... He turned out to be a violent man, used the 'friends' he had, financially fleeced his landlady (who had taken him in, for free) and eventually ended up in prison for fraud.

Don't be love-bombed. It's not real, however much you want it to be.

‘Please don’t hurt me’ that would put me off in itself.

That’s not your responsibility when you have only met him once!

He doesn’t know you. At most he’s in love with an idea he has in his head, but it isn’t the real you. I think you’d just be playing the part for him really.. until you also start looking for a real connection, and he’d be on to wife number 4.

Jesus.

more red flags than Red Square OP.

"no one ever questioned him in his life before"? wtf?

nooooooo nooooooo nooooooo.

"you should just let him love you"? What about what YOU want here? or does his 'love' take precedence over your desires? it does, doesn't it?

he doesn't actually see you at all, and he does expect control. Hit the horizon, lady.

in my exerience trustworthy people never say 'I'm trustworthy'!!!!

Woah, run for the hills!

After one short date, he doesn't even KNOW you.

This is plain weird. I'm not surprised you feel suffocated.

also, who the fuck is he to say to you "Stop putting up barricades love is an amazing thing."?

Yep, another one saying that he is WEIRD and UNSTABLE. Honestly, no matter how nice he is, or how good he looks on paper, this is a man to steer waaaaaaay clear of.

He's controlling and insecure. This combination often leads to abuse. Trust your instincts and RUN.

Regardless of whether he is genuine or not, you are feeling under pressure, and you are clearly not compatible.

On a recent thread someone said it's a good idea to say "no" to a man soon after meeting him - without any softening or excuses. See how he reacts and that will tell you who he really is. I thought that was excellent advice, several posters agreed.

Well today I got a message telling me he doesn't give his heart away easily but he has never felt like this before. Also an apology for the pressure and an offer to give me space.

Encouraging...tread carefully ;) good luck

But you know he does give his heart away easily. After just one date/drink. To someone he barely knows..

Ok I know you must think I'm crazy but I'm tempted to give him one more date just to be sure, he is mad. At least the seeds of doubt are there. Playing the " I love you trick" actually has just put me into fight or flight mode.

20 friends yet adding you after a first date suggests that this isn't his main profile and it was created for adding women he is dating to give a particular impression. In this case the impression of a family man, hence having family only on there.

Regardless of whether or not he is genuine you feel uncomfortable after only one date. That is reason enough not to see him again

I'm 100% sure about the Facebook and background re family. Just not his intentions towards me, but I am suspicious of all men and have never once not been.

He has absolutely no right to ask for trust from you so soon. He could be a chest or a liar or a rapist. He could be someone who treats animals badly, or has a gambling problem....anything!

The fact that he has asked this from you - and in anyway thinks this is reasonable - is nuts.

Would you trust your postman if he rocked up at your door asking you? Or the person who serves you in Tesco? This is honestly not much different. Anyone who is rational, sane and has respect for another’s person doesn’t say these things. He doesn’t know you, how can he love you? Please get any romantic notions out of your head. This is seriously dodgy.

RUN AWAY VERY FAST. Seriously.

if you're planning on giving him a second date, you should also consider making an application under Clare's Law to see if there's any violence or harrassment in the background. Better to be forewarned.

So no one on here, has ever had a positive experience from early love declaration?