Am I being love bombed?

[Neweternal]

I met this guy for a date and yes I like him but after one, one short date (one drink) . He tells me he is in love and that's it I'm the woman for him, he can wait to have sex months and months. I'm not sure. I have had other men being keen and very available after a short time but this is different as I feel a bit of pressure to commit when I haven't had enough time to be sure about him. I do like him a lot, but I'm wary. Any advice? He is nearly 50, his kids are at boarding school I'm early 40s. How do you know the difference between being over amorous and a potential abuser. To be fair he good friends with both his ex wives.

No it’s not normal at all. I’d say he is desperate for someone to fulfil a role and you’ve simply walked into his sights.

What that role might be is anyone’s guess, but I certainly wouldn’t wait around to find out.

If you had to ask after that, you really shouldn't be dating.

Seems dodgy. Afterall even if after one drink you felt that way about your date, you wouldn’t say all that would you. You’d just organise another date? If it’s real love what’s the rush. He sounds too weird I’d back away from him xx

Please run for the hills. He sounds controlling at worst and lacking self-awareness at best.

This isn't normal, no. Run fast. Run far.

No. It's not normal. In fact it's insane behaviour. Run for the hills and when you get there breathe. Omg!

It’s controlling behaviour. Huge red flag OP

This is after ONE date? Did I read that right?

This is nuts. And would have me running far, far away. ‘Let him love you’? Do you get a say in this?

Too, too odd.

This is not normal no!

I met a guy who I was utterly smitten with after our first date. I messaged my friend that I thought I might just have met the man I was going to marry, but I’d never have told him that - mostly cause he’d rightly have thought I was a fruit loop!

As a side point it turned out he was a knob and could barely keep the veneer he’d put up on for a whole month of dating, so I was massively wrong. But then when I first got to know DH I thought he was a perfect person to have no strings sex with, so clearly I know nothing!

What a load of controlling crap he is feeding you. Delete. Block and hope he doesn't stalk you.

Don't date at all if you think you are "supposed" to like someone who likes you first. Who cares what he thinks, what he wants. Tell him to F off. Don't just bend with the wind.

People can set up fake Facebook pages. Those photos of him with ex and kids in uniform could be him with friends or a cousin and their children. He sounds dodgy to me.

Sorry but how could you find him attractive knowing he's a complete weirdo?

Serious question.

My OH knew as soon as she met me. I took much longer and didn't like her even for quite a time. She proposed before we'd even been on a proper date. We've been married 6 yes and she was is completely genuine. I love her all the way back. So what can seem creepy can be the real thing.

As a person who frequently fell for guys like this and never listened to RUN AWAY NOW advice.
I'm going to say seriously, get rid now.
Chances are though that if you're asking for advice he's already spun a charm and you're already leaning in.
If you can't cut it entirely just be patient and let him do his thing but cool off...the sight of the colours that come out when you're not giving what he wants should be enough to help you see/decide.
....don't move in with him, don't get pregnant, don't take anything he says as his 'word'.

I had a guy send me a list of apartments in a town we could rent to live in together, told me he would be a father to my son and didn't relent until I blocked all contact and we had been on ONE playdate, I was apparently the 'one' ..he then blabbed that he'd assaulted his ex and was living with his mum.

Good luck.

You don't know him. You have had one date and have seen a handful of photos on a sm site so at the moment 'what he says' is meaningless.
Anyone can be anything they want on the first date. It's very easy to pretend for a few weeks, not so easy to actually keep that veneer in place long term.
You have no idea what type of person he is so forget what is coming out of his mouth and look at his actions and how he makes you feel instead. You feel pressured and he has no respect for your space after only one date!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you actually believe he's telling the truth? Love is something that grows, something that involves mutual trust and respect, shared experiences.
I would not, in a million years, even consider going on date number two with this man.
And fwiw I always think when someone tells you something like I'll wait for sex they actually mean the opposite. Why would you say that, it's a non statement.

I met someone who was very over the top in the early days. Turned out he had no friends and no life whatsoever (adult children he saw rarely) and he would wait for me to finish work so he could see me.
It felt like he was always around and it was suffocating.

Alarm bells op.

He's telling you he is trustworthy and you shouldn't really question him on it - did I read that right?

That for me would be a big turn off. You are you're own woman, you get to question what you like, you don't need his permission!

Don't base your life on what you see on Facebook. Really listen to what he is saying and go with your gut.

Can I just say that the shaming over being married twice is not ok. There are lots of people who have been married more than once and it doesn't automatically mean they are horrible people. I have also been married twice and I carry a lot of shame over it thanks to attitudes like yours.

Run for the hills. He's needy and possessive, the sort who cannot cope with being on his own.

I agree with Furryface as I'm in the same position.

I you like him OP then go for it. It could be third time lucky for him!

He's already urging you to ignore your judgement and follow his. That is the red flag to me.

A more genuine approach would be to keep this to himself for now and let you fall in love in your own time. On your terms. Not in a 'Meet my needs' way. You can end up feeling you owe that person something for how much they love you.

For the record, I fell in love with DH on sight but I wouldn't have dreamed of telling him that and thereby force him to think in those terms ('for life' is a big deal).

You don't even have a relationship yet. We're in first date territory here.

He could have more than 1 Facebook profile & added photos/ppl who makes his story look genuine. I would be extremely wary.......... is family/kids may be lovely but maybe not how it appears. I say this as someone who was caught by a sociopath/narc with equally messed up family - who look very loving and caring but are in fact nasty, vindictive and aggressive. I would run as fast as I can. 1 short date doesn't tell anyone anything. What would your response be of this was a friend or sister?

It doesnt add up.

My now ex husband claimed to have fallen in love with me at first sight too, but we simply dated as normal and he didnt tell me that for a while! (We were together almost 10yrs and he didnt turn out to be controlling etc).

Gushing it out after the first meeting is a bit of a weirdo alert imo, BUT if you like him and dont want to call it off, just encourage him to chill. Tell him you are a slow burner and need more time to come out with the L word. If he gets angry/obsessive etc then def run for the hills!!

Dear god, that would be it. Bye chap.

It's odd that he only has 20 friends on Facebook yet he has added you so quickly.

Does this mean he has no friends and also why would he want his kids to know about you after one date only!? Both red flags.

I would be very wary.