BF Just bought £3m house

[Redherring10]

My longest standing friend has just bought a £3m estate with her high earning husband, she doesn’t work. She’s been quite secretive about it but has finally announced the move. They’d previously been renting a modest but lovely house. I’m worried it’s going to change our relationship. How do I deal with this maturely? I want to still be there for her but I’m afraid she now puts herself above us. We rent a modest house are not wealthy but are ok financially compared to some.

I would just act normally. Who cares how much her house costs. I don't see how it makes a difference to your relationship unless her attitude has changed.

Maybe give her some credit and not make an issue of it until she gives you reason to?

Eh?

Do you feel she should have split the money with you?

Has her attitude changed in some way?

Have you missed some pertinent information out?
This makes no sense?

I’m also in the confused camp. What difference would it make? Why would she put herself above you?

Be careful about projecting your own feelings onto her and imagining that she’s acting like she’s above you.

Send a moving home card and hope for an invitation!

Why might she “put herself above” others?

A friend of mine lives in a £7m house. We just carry on as friends and chat about normal things, do normal things, go out together, split the bill. I would never expect her to pay for everything because she has money. Hasn't changed a thing, why should it?

It seems to me that the only thing which has changed is your perception of her, not her perception of you.

Eh? Why would it matter? You sound jealous.

My closest friend has a house where the entire footprint of my place would fit in her kitchen area (she has a living bit there as well as a couple of other living rooms). It's bloody vast.

But honestly, what are you expecting your friend to suddenly do? Turn into Margo Leadbetter? Do you honestly, in your heart think she thinks she's above you because her bank balance is heftier? Is equal finances what made you friends in the first place and then kept you as mates?

Given we tend to friend up with people like ourselves, what would YOU do if you were in her shoes?

I’d be hoping she throws a fabulous house warming and invites you to it!

Not sure what her not working has to do with anything. Are you a wee bit jealous or resentful?

It sounds like you don’t think she deserves her wealth or new house. That’s going to do more damage to the friendship than her moving house.

That

If you were my bf and had posted that on the internet, we probably wouldn't be friends any more. SAHM, high earning husband, thinking she'll think she's above you.

Can't you just be thrilled for her? Those are the sorts of sentiments that drove a wedhe between us and a very few friends. Not the good and dearest ones.

She had the money for it last week - did you think she was different then?

This is the hardest part about having money.

It shouldn't matter. She's not friends with you for your money, and I presume you feel the same about her. You're friends regardless.

I made a new friend last year and she is so lovely (as is her DH). She lives on a £10m+ estate and has more money than I could ever dream about. But we enjoy each other's company and we have fun. That's what matters!

My Sil has an amazing house, I live in a little council house. I'm super happy for her and envious but it doesn't change anything, why would it?!

Just go on as normal, if it's amazing then bloody tell her so. Don't ignore it, she will think your jealous. Be happy for her, I can't help but think that your jealous, given the fact you threw in that she doesn't work?!

Maybe you are projecting your feelings on to her. I know a few rich people and none of them think they are superior to me or anyone else.

You really don’t know what is going on in the background. Try not to be jealous as nobody has everything perfect, even really wealthy people have problems!

So in summary; try not to be jealous or steal things from their house out of spite, because love is more important than money, and definitely more important than a small Japanese looking red vase thing that you don’t even like when you sober up, but you are too embarrassed to give back and then you find out that it’s actually worth loads and you chipped the bloody thing while shoving it into your handbag jokingly and now they are blaming one of the staff and are going to claim it back on the house insurance so you have to hide it every time they visit you, and eventually you end up burying it in the back garden for fear someone might spot it. Don’t do that anyway.

Why did you throw in the fact she doesn't work? Are you wondering how they afford it? He DH must me a mega earner.

Always baffles me though when people are so wealthy yet rent for years when they could easily buy a property.

You’re selling yourself short. It sounds as if she was embarrassed to tell you the extent of her good fortune in case you reacted badly. She’s your friend, isn’t that enough? As others have said, send her a congratulations card.

I grew up in a house like that (and will likely live there again due to inheritance- hopefully in the very, very distant future!)

It’s just a house. Houses shouldn’t impact on relationships and, if you allow it to, you really need to take a long hard look at yourself.

Why do you think money changes who she is? Why does her not working need to be mentioned? Was it only okay for her not to work when she lived in a smaller house?

this opening post says more about you OP than it does about your friend...

She is the same person as she was before you found out about her financial situation.

It seems you’re not.