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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

BF Just bought £3m house

93 replies

Redherring10 · 06/05/2018 21:53

My longest standing friend has just bought a £3m estate with her high earning husband, she doesn’t work. She’s been quite secretive about it but has finally announced the move. They’d previously been renting a modest but lovely house. I’m worried it’s going to change our relationship. How do I deal with this maturely? I want to still be there for her but I’m afraid she now puts herself above us. We rent a modest house are not wealthy but are ok financially compared to some.

OP posts:
AwkwardSquad · 07/05/2018 08:37

@3luckystars Grin

SoyDora · 07/05/2018 08:39

FowlisWester this thread is nothing to do with bigger being better. That is entirely the choice of the individual. The thread is about the OP’s friend having a level of wealth that she was unaware of.

FowlisWester · 07/05/2018 08:40

No the op is jealous of her friend having a bigger and supposedly better house.

FowlisWester · 07/05/2018 08:40

My point being no one knows what goes on behind closed doors and comparison steals joy.

Tinkobell · 07/05/2018 08:42

It sounds like OP you expect your friends to 'fit' a certain socio-demographic mould. Sorry, but it's bonkers? Do people have to have limited savings, drive a certain car, wear certain clothing brands, have their kids attend only certain schools, be successful but not too successful.....in order to be your friend? Do grow up.

Tinkobell · 07/05/2018 08:43

By the way, I think it's very considerate of your friends not to blab on about her house. Shows she is trying to be sensitive and not crow.

Tinkobell · 07/05/2018 08:45

@SoyDora, yes because a persons wealth is nobody else's business!

Mossend · 07/05/2018 08:46

I honestly don't think it would make any difference.

My friend married into a family that owned a multi million pound worldwide business that products are probably in most mumsnetters kitchens. It didn't change her one bit.

I seriously wouldnt give this another thought, just be happy for her

elderflowerandrose · 07/05/2018 08:51

The biggest impact on her will not be her wealth but the way 'friends' like you now see her. On the look out for any changes in her personality, some sudden outbreak of high handedness.

She has not changed, she is the same person with the same worries that everyone has she just lives in a bigger house.

Perhaps be pleased for her, buy a pot plant as you would anyone else and focus on not what has changed but what has stayed the same.

SoyDora · 07/05/2018 08:55

I’m fully aware of that Tinkobell and agreed upthread that the OP is being ridiculous.

FaFoutis · 07/05/2018 08:58

Going completely against the tide here I wouldn't have much in common with someone who did not work and was wealthy. Why would they want to listen to me moan on anyway? The best fun I have is with people who are in the trenches with me.
It's not just a house, it's different ways of thinking and experiencing the world.

SoyDora · 07/05/2018 09:04

It's not just a house, it's different ways of thinking and experiencing the world

As the OP is shocked at her friend buying a £3 million house, I assume she doesn’t come from a wealthy background. She isn’t going to have changed as a person just because they’ve bought a big house. And it looks like she hasn’t worked for a while, which I assume the OP hasn’t had a problem with before.
I have friends in highly professional jobs, in low paid jobs, in academic jobs, friends who don’t work... I have plenty to talk about with all of them.

EleanorHooverbelt · 07/05/2018 09:07

Be the same friend you always were.

Getsomesleep · 07/05/2018 09:15

Seastar girl - this has recently happened to me. One friend in particular just can’t be happy for me and has refused to visit my home - so much so that we now meet up in pubs and cafes and she won’t even ask a question or refer to anything in my life - perhaps we are not really friends afterall🤔

LellyMcKelly · 07/05/2018 09:15

She’s your oldest friend. She loves you and you love her. Celebrate her good fortune. I can assure you that she doesn’t want your relationship to change and why should it? It’s only rooms.

Tinkobell · 07/05/2018 09:44

Maybe when OP's DH was offered his great job, he should have hesitated to take it on grounds of potential social-isolation those on a lesser income? Or else maybe he should have taken the great job and divyed up his cash to everyone they know? Sound sensible?
I think the OP needs to step up and demonstrate to her friend that she's pleased for her. That's what a really good friend would do.

SilverySurfer · 07/05/2018 13:47

Jealousy is horrible, especially of a so called friend.

So I guess we now just need to wait for a massive drip feed and/or followed by flounce, followed by closure of thread at OP's request stating concern over too much RL info when, like all these threads, there has been none.

SoleBizzz · 07/05/2018 13:51

I am really happy for one of my friends. Her DH is worth £68 million in property in London. They are bith lovely people!

You are jealous as hell and that is so childish. She is better off without you.

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