BF Just bought £3m house

[Redherring10]

My longest standing friend has just bought a £3m estate with her high earning husband, she doesn’t work. She’s been quite secretive about it but has finally announced the move. They’d previously been renting a modest but lovely house. I’m worried it’s going to change our relationship. How do I deal with this maturely? I want to still be there for her but I’m afraid she now puts herself above us. We rent a modest house are not wealthy but are ok financially compared to some.

Unless they've had a sudden windfall, they were just as well off before, just in a smaller house.

@colditz hit the nail on the head. She and her husband have had the money to do this for a good while, long before you knew. And has it affected your friendship? From what you say, I suspect not.

If the two of you are true friends, money doesn’t matter.

Perhaps she has been secretive because she was scared people would react like that. My BF has a similar value house. She doesn't work because her DH is away with work a lot and it would be logistically difficult for her to work too. I think her house is amazing but I know she doesn't judge me on mine, or our other friends who have houses of various sizes, owned or rented. Unless she is otherwise treating you as inferior, I would say that you need to get over this.

What's the difference? I have friends who live in £3m homes, one of my best friends does. We live in a council flat. She's come and stayed here, I've stayed at hers. I've got another mate who lives in £1m home. When we met, her parents lived a few roads down from mine. They now live a £10m home. They invited us over, we invite them over. We visit each other and have fun. We're friends.

My best friend married a millionaire, when we meet up she's the same person I've known for years. Don't think any differently of her unless she changes her attitude towards you. It shouldn't change a thing, just be happy for her.

I am friends with people who have tiny houses and people who have much more expensive houses than me, I am friends with the people not the houses. I've had great dinner parties balancing my food on my knee because there isn't space for a dinning table and been to parties where staff serve you. It is the people who make occasions not trappings, if she has been a good friend why will this change with her house move?

randonthoughts living up to you user name

I'm gonna go ahead and guess that the OP won't be back

You sound mad.

Meant for the train thread so totally irrelevant!

OP: Does anything in her behaviour make you think that she now puts herself above you? Do YOU feel differently about HER given that she now lives in this estate? If neither, then you probably have nothing to worry about.

Maybe she's been secretive precisely because while they want to enjoy what their money can buy, perhaps she / they would like to avoid having this new house create distance with her friends. Hopefully she understands that having more money does not make some people "better" than others -- it just means they have more money.

Good luck!

We live in a really nice house, bought about 15 years ago when things were going great financially for us. ... however change of circumstances means we’re struggling (no mortage, but DH business debts on expansion that didnt work out, me working for unsuccesful startup) but people dont know. Be happy for your friend :)

I don't understand why you're attitude would change towards her, sounds a bit like jealousy just be happy for her ? Unless of course her attitude changes towards you, but then she's not a real friend if she does change

Aye, ok.

As long as you don’t hit her up for money, expect her to always pay for you, get bitter with jealousy or imagine she thinks she is above you or any other negative money stereotypes, you should be fine!

with her high earning husband, she doesn’t work

And?? I also think you sound jealous that she has a big house but doesn't have to work for it because she has a rich husband.

Why does the cost of the house matter?

Jealousy never ends well

OP, the thread is not going to be full of people suggesting that their relationship won't last and she is after his money.

Id be absolutely delighted for my friend and tell her and ask when we are meeting up to crack the champagne..I doubt this will change your relationship unless you let it by showing this attitude. Also no idea what her not working has to do with it!

I'd be pissed off you broadcasted it on here if she was secretive about it

Oh OP. Don’t be jealous. It’s so unbecoming. Your friend has not done anything wrong.