After the affair-not that bad

[n0tb0thered]

Found out DH has been having affairs. The day I found out 4 weeks ago was hard but tbh nothing has changed. I still love him, he loves me, and I will not split up our children. There have been a few arguments but we are just carrying on as normal- getting on better than ever and our sex life is amazing right now! We are doing more together and I believe him he is sorry.
Am I missing something? Is this normal? Should I not be really angry?

I think it’s very common for women to react in the way you have. You believe you have ‘won’ against the OW because he has stopped seeing her and is still with you and that maybe helps your bruised ego somewhat. But what is your prize exactly? A cheating untrustworthy dick of a husband? I mean, congratulations OP, you really got a solid deal there .

How did the affair end?

How could he hide an affair for a year? Does he work away a lot? Away at weekends? What about his birthday and Christmas? Was he around to take the kids to events or for their birthdays? Did you have family holidays? If not then betraying me would be one thing but not being there for the kids would be a deal breaker

Is your husband loaded does he give you a life style that's worth ignoring him fucking someone else for a year

Putting his nob into her for a year telling her he loved her lying to you where he was.

I feel for you and your self respect but If you're
Life's amazing then go for it.

Don't blame you're kids I'd have no respect for my mother if she stayed after an affair !

Trust me this honeymoon period or whatever it is won't last. Soon you'll go back to how you were before, they'll be no trust, you'll be paranoid and forever wondering if he's going to cheat again (which he will). I feel sorry for you but think you need to accept that things won't always be this dandy. Good luck to you for the future

You are a survivor OP. My guess is that when you know you are strong enough to leave him without destroying yourself you will. It may take a few years. I think part of why you are OK with it is because you were already unhappy in some way. A very happily married woman who thought she was the centre of her husbands world would be devestated to find that she wasn’t.

My only advice is that if you stay together protect yourself financially. He may not have another affair but if he does, it may not be up to you if you leave or not, he may be the one who leaves you. Please consider all options for the future - you may be loyal but he has proven he's not.

Lying
I agree that a few posters have been supportive.

I’m not sure the OPs friends are advising her to LTB but are probably surprised by her reaction.