I don't like people.

[Hamandcheesebaguette]

Does anyone else feel like this?

I do a good job of disguising it but I really don't like people. I only ever seem to able to see their bad points and focus on these... I get annoyed very easily by people.

I scroll thriugh Facebook and think oh fuck off at every post. My friends message inane chit chat in the group chat and I want to scream NOBODY CARES.

I don't know what else to say but I wish I wasn't like this. I wish I could have a group of fabulous friends who I loved and could enjoy and lean on in times of need but I just can't seem to find with anyone.

I don't know what I'm hoping to achieve with this.... anyone have aby similar experience?

Cheers shadypines! glad it resonated with your brain, have a gooden :)

Hamandcheese, you sound as if you are bored by these forms of communication by your "friends" and maybe that's a sign to connect with other types of people. Maybe ypu outgrew them. Or maybe you are naturally an introvert. Speaking as one myself, I am at my happiest pottering about at home with the radio for company. I also need social company but am easily put off by people's odd behaviour. My tolerance levels , in this area, have decreased with age but I manage that by being more selective about people I meet. I've stopped meeting people who make me feel bad for the most part. Some people wear the mask of friendship but are in fact competitive and nasty. Also, I think it's worth not placing too much pressure on oneself regarding relationships of any kind. They usually are mostly imperfect because we ourselves are too.

I do get what you're saying about Facebook. I use it a lot and it's full of these 'perfect parents'. My DSis is like this, constantly singing the praises of my DNiece (9 very soon), and yes she is a very gifted little girl, she's so far ahead with her reading and plays the piano beautifully. I'm very proud of DNiece of course, but I also find it hard because DD1 (9) is behind because of her learning difficulties. (She has SPD and Attachment Disorder as a result of her adoption).

It makes me feel like responding, 'Who cares?' But I'm a loving sister and auntie, so I of course press 'like' and say how proud I am of DNiece. But sometimes I feel, 'Don't rub it in.' Then I feel really bad about it because I do love DSis's 3 DCs.

I get it too OP. I have my DP, my dogs (no kids yet), my closest friend and my home. I don't need anything else and generally don't bother to get to know people.

I find a lot of people I meet irritating, loud and self absorbed. I feel like I see through them and the fake ness, knowing I'll never be good friends with them so what's the point. I never join cliques, it's just not me. It sounds so awful saying it though.

I sometimes think it's just a case of being 'old before your time' and valuing deep friendships over others. I get on well with people much older than me generally, and will like people that I spend a lot of time with. It's like I just can't be arsed with friendships to start with if I know they'll 'pass me by'.

The alcohol thing bores me too. Why the fuck would you want to go out, get pissed, waste a load of money and wake up feeling shit the next day.

I like a drink at home every now and again but could go without it and would never get plastered.

I'm only 25 though, maybe that's why. I find most people my age irritating

well said dappledsunlight :)

I hear your point Lizzie about competitive posting. People can be nasty in this respect. FB can be too "in your face" in this way. People boasting and gloating all over the shop. Modesty is a much undervalued trait in a friend.

Thanks Gerbilforlife

I find a lot of people I meet irritating, loud and self absorbed. I feel like I see through them and the fake ness, knowing I'll never be good friends with them so what's the point. I never join cliques, it's just not me. It sounds so awful saying it though.

No it doesn't , just honest, Hilltoptea I feel the same a lot of the time! I have been thinking a lot recently about the self absorbed thing and how it seems rare to meet someone who wants to listen to you aswell as go on about themselves.

I'm sort of the same at the moment. I go through phases though.

The Facebook thing, I scroll through it and it's always the same old crap. I don't post much on it myself. So why am I on it? Because I'm nosey that's why. I don't have to look at what people are up too. But I chose too cos I'm a nosey bugger but then get annoyed at things that I've looked at lol.

As for people. I don't like many people at the moment. But I am pregnant and have an extremely tough time of it (don't want sympathy here either btw). At the moment, I cannot stand my best friend. I had my first 2 dcs. She then had 2 dcs and now I'm having my 3rd and last. She sailed through pregnancy. Good for her but I don't. I've been in hospital 6 times now and I'm only 23 weeks.

I don't want sympathy. I really really don't. But all I've heard from her is 'oh I remember what it's like'

Me: 'well no you don't actually as you have never experienced pregnancy the way I have so don't even start that shit with me'

I don't actually say that but I feel like it.

Not a fan of the mother in law at the min but for reasons I can't be arsed to go into.

Same with the mothers in the play ground at school. A couple of them I genuinely do like. The rest....nope. Not at all.

I don't try be something I'm not though. I don't pretend to be all happy and jolly to fit in with the mothers crowd in my gym gear while I park my 4x4 in the disabled spaces at school like the rest of them.

Saying all this, I know I'm not a horrible person. Im just a very black and white person I suppose. It's hard. I have a disabled child also so when I see people moaning about their kids....I know having kids and being a parent is the hardest job ever. It is. Fact. But some little issues that drive most parents up the wall....there are parents out there who wish they had those problems instead of the massive ones they face on a daily basis. Then there are the ones that can't have kids at all.

I suppose I just really try be aware of what others go through maybe. Sleepless night with a child? So what. Get on with it and deal with it.

I don't even know what I'm on about to be honest but I get the ops post.

This is me I personally think it’s because I can’t find anyone like me and people have done me wrong and now I just pick fault in everyone it’s bad I’m tryna stop

You wonder why the country is in the mess it’s in,, OP I think your post summarises it very nicely, when even with intelligent girls/women, all conversation is about ‘getting pissed ’ Or really crap reality TV, you do start to despair if you aren’t that way minded. I like a drink but don’t need to advertise ‘oh what a fun time I’m having, look I’m hungover’ etc. I think it’s habit with some women , I really do, I think they think it makes them look ‘young and vital’ regardless of age. Social media and WhatsApp groups is your enemy in these cases I’m afraid (and I love Facebook etc) but people want to feel ‘in with a group’ in many cases. I know I have felt much better since getting a small group of friends, but even they post this inane crap. Luckily I have some good male friends keen on politics and business/ economics etc and enjoy commenting on their pages, far less ‘I’m pissed’ kind of stuff

And I joke and laugh with them too, it’s not all serious stuff, but it makes a nice change not to be fluffy bunny , ‘here’s my cocktail ‘ kind of stuff. I do get though that a lot of women love that kind of stuff , including some women I really really like, so have just learnt to kind of let it wash over me as I value their friendship and they know I’m not a ‘selfie and cocktail’ kind of gal

For me it’s an age thing it’s like you see the same patterns over and over again in life and can almost guess why and when a person will do something.

The drama and the breakups and the affairs and it just kinda gets boring!

Prefer my kids and animals.

@Hamandcheesebaguette

Yes, I accept the problem is me, 100%. I just don't know how to change that.

I'm in the chats and groups bevause I don't want to completely isolate myself, but at these same time it's always the same old rubbish "so hungover" ... "can't wait to get pissed at the weekend" "no kids on the wine" ... I can't connect to this in any way.

The girl who sits next to me at work, she's adore. Do anything for anybody, kind, funny, interesting... but then I noticed she's quite impatient and pushy... and now that's all I can notice and it overshadows all her positives ... why do I do that?!

I know I know it's a old thread.

Exactly this ^^ once I see the bad that's all I can see.

People are just not for me.

.

This is weird but this year my son was assessed with asd and I realised I have many traits
I also think hating everyone is a potential indicator of depression
I’ve felt similar , I’m way happier now and more
Open to liking people as a result

So maybe beat yourself up a bit less
And have a think what paternal you see , how
Your brain is wired ?

There's a high chance OP isn't neurotypical. I feel exactly the same about people. I find most people fake, two-faced and completely inane. I find it incredibly weird that most people just seem to accept that their friends bitch about them behind their backs and do the same to them. The way some people on MN talk about 'friends', I think 'with friends like you, who needs enemies'?

I've met some nice people I like through work and through hobbies. Most other people I just politely tolerate and remove myself from their company as soon as is feasible.

I agree. I could have written this post.

Irritability can be a sign of depressuon/anxiety op? I can be like this in times when I'm unhappy. Also worth looking up depersonalisation as it describes what you feel re looking at yourself through a television.

How old are you OP? I found I’ve got like this as I’ve got older. I’m old enough to remember when most people had manners and a bit of decorum because they cared what people thought of them . Nowadays there’s swearing in the streets, people drive like utter assholes, they push past you, no please or thank yous, customer service doesn’t exist, they are obsessed with reality tv, inane ‘celebrities’ or whatever the latest bullshit # is and there’s just TOO MANY of them! Going on days out is shit because they’re all there too.

Yes I know I’m totally UR .

Oh just seen this is from 2018.

All my life Ive worked in customer and client facing services and worn a mask. Even now I sell things to people on the internet but at least I can communicate via email. After a lifetime of contributing to the community I am sick of them. I avoid people as often as possible by my own wish. I never answer the door to strangers unless Im expecting a package. Like you I never enjoyed parties although I made a good pretence at it when I was younger.

I think there are people who are desperately lonely and will talk to anyone, the postman, bin man, etc. Then there are people who are pretty self sufficient and dont really need others. We have our own routine and priorities and are happy to get on with it.

You can be alone without being lonely

I think a certain amount of this is sheep like behaviour OP— people tend to post on social media what others will react to , same with WhatsApp— hence all the ‘getting pissed’ posts and whilst I’m not going to be popular saying this I think in Britain in particular there’s been a lot of dumbing down, fake ‘reality TV’ shit etc. Post something deep or political or scientific (unless about covid) and it’s tumbleweed out there- unless you are on pages linked to those interests— so I would say think a lot about what actually interests you and join those groups in real life and social media, rather than just having friends inane posts about their lunch going on your feed

@Hamandcheesebaguette

Yes, I accept the problem is me, 100%. I just don't know how to change that.

I'm in the chats and groups bevause I don't want to completely isolate myself, but at these same time it's always the same old rubbish "so hungover" ... "can't wait to get pissed at the weekend" "no kids on the wine" ... I can't connect to this in any way.

The girl who sits next to me at work, she's adore. Do anything for anybody, kind, funny, interesting... but then I noticed she's quite impatient and pushy... and now that's all I can notice and it overshadows all her positives ... why do I do that?!

Maybe you're just extremely observant and see things other people take much much longer to notice. It's easy to like someone when you can't see their bad side! A lot of people don't notice details or can't spot patterns so that makes it easier to like people, at least at first.

You could also not be very people orientated. Extroverts get a lot out of social interaction, and many people enjoy the approval, the self-esteem boost, the sense of belonging, the increase in status that being around others often brings. If you don't need any of that so they have less of an incentive to put up with niggles that they notice.

I think you also need to find different friends. Sounds like they're not your type at all!

@UserOfManyNames

Oh just seen this is from 2018.

ARGH - ZOMBIE THREAD!!