I don't like people.

[Hamandcheesebaguette]

Does anyone else feel like this?

I do a good job of disguising it but I really don't like people. I only ever seem to able to see their bad points and focus on these... I get annoyed very easily by people.

I scroll thriugh Facebook and think oh fuck off at every post. My friends message inane chit chat in the group chat and I want to scream NOBODY CARES.

I don't know what else to say but I wish I wasn't like this. I wish I could have a group of fabulous friends who I loved and could enjoy and lean on in times of need but I just can't seem to find with anyone.

I don't know what I'm hoping to achieve with this.... anyone have aby similar experience?

There are shy people.. there are intorberts.. there are people suffering social anxiety and top of the 'Antisocial' pyramid is the truly misanthropic..
I think I am all of the above.

I'm not on FB and everyone keeps telling me to get WhatsApp but I haven't relented yet.

Misanthropy has some respectable roots. Suggest you Google it. Or listen to Howard Jacobson's wonderful radio 4 Point of View programme on this subject and how he shares this view.

From what you say about the posts that repell you about "getting pissed" and similar, it sounds as if you are just different from these types of people and maybe it's a sign you need to cultivate other types of friends. I share some of what you feel - when I was younger I think I tolerated all kinds of rubbish from other people, but now I feel I often can't be bothered much with listening to people's stories about their lives. We have to spend time amongst a lot more people we often don't choose (such as colleagues) so it's important to find meaningful friednships which benefit our lives. These do exist. In the past few months, I've been making a conscious effort to a) be truthful and more radical about friendships I don't really feel offer much anymore b) actively be open to new friendships with people who are engaging, who communicate well etc. By this I mean, who communicate in a non-selfish way, respond to messages and reciprocate with arrangements.

PS. I notice OP that you said you hate people

I wonder if you are using the word casually and just mean you don't enjoy people, like I say, I'm not a people fan, but to many "hate" is a really strong word and I just winder if you said it without meaning it?

I sit next to a lovely kind hearted decent person at work, she really gets on my nerves though. We live funny lives in that respect, sometimes lumbered with a lot of irritations. Don't make Facebook another one.

But I wouldn't worry if you don't like company. Some people don't, that's okay. I'm obvs here, lol, and I'm on Twitter for authors and film stuff but I refuse what's app because figure friends can just call or text with important stuff.

I have a few friends who are the best people imaginable in real life, and totally tedious on Facebook. The medium matters. If the worst thing anyone can say about you is that you post silly memes, you're probably not doing too badly as a human being.

Thank you all for your posts and comments. I had actually never heard of misanthropy before.

After a brief read of a couple of websites before work... I have never related to anything so much in my life. Certain things written feel as though they were written directly about me. Some other bits not so much however...

Not that I expect anybody to be interested but I will read more later, especially about ways to change your view point and report back.

It's kind if a nice feeling to know there's a name for it - and other people feel the same and there might be techniques to help me overcome the negativity

I agree with MinaPaws. You've outgrown your friends. I am not a people person, I find socialising with more than five or six people to be bloody hard work.

But I do have a small group of friends that I'm close to and really enjoy.

I don't hate people, I just have limited energy reserves for social interaction that I find unrewarding.

Delete FB and WhatsApp, you're in a cycle of loathing that's really unhealthy.

I'd become misanthropic within minutes if my FB feed was full of people's selfies with 'omg you look gorge hun' messages. Or endless photos of their lunch etc. Those people are irritating. It just leaves me free to not bother with them and focus more on people who would never do that.

@Hamandcheesebaguette

I really recommend daydreaming about the kind of friendship group you wish you had - how much contact - how close the group is or individuals within the group are to each other, what sort of things you do together, what sort of stuff you talk about. If you can daydream that easily, then you're not misanthropic - you just need to cultivate friendships that suit your personality and needs.

Op I completely agree with orgasmic. I think it would be a good idea to learn how to live yourself warts and all. Once you have forgiven yourself for your faults and mistakes, it becomes much easier to accept other people for who they are.
Also remember the Desiderata, avoid loud and noisy people for they
are vexatious to the spirit

Learn how to LOVE yourself

I've been through phases of this & for me, it is usually due to self-hatred. I have trust issues, so to prevent myself from being hurt, I tend to assume that everyone is horrible and then I won't let them near me emotionally in any way (that includes 'friends', colleagues, school gate mums - everyone basically).

It is, of course, counterproductive, because then I feel isolated and hate everyone and think that their every utterance is painful. Contempt for me is a defense mechanism.

Therapy helps!

I think you need different friends ie ones with something in common with you.

My FB feed was mainly full of people who had run or watched or had some interest in the London Marathon. It was fab. They are my sort of people.

Ooh that loud and noisy people quote is brilliant.

It sounds like you are friends with the wrong kind of people (for you), OP. Joining some kind of club or activity where you might find more like-minded people is probably a good idea. Endless crap about getting pissed or being hungover is pretty pathetic as an adult - maybe it's time to cull your FB friend list a bit!

Having said that... sometimes it's worth remembering that there are reasons people behave the way they do. Some of people's twatty manner or stupid FB statuses are probably a desperate attempt to forget about what's really going on in their lives.

I don't agree with it. A friend of mine is pretty loud and noisy, rather bombastic, but she's a professional performer and it's just all very dynamic and fun. She doesn't talk over people or shout them down, she's just a crazy outgoing person who's good at what she does.

Obviously she's not everyone's cup of tea but she's a lovely, warm, giving and protective person. Her act is very popular.

I find people who dismiss people they haven't got to know, or even met, as cunts, twats and arseholes much more vexatious to my spirit.

Damn, seems 'bombastic' doesn't mean quite what I thought it meant. Oops. Perhaps a better word is 'dynamic' or 'energetic'. She's not quiet or retiring, she's just very outgoing and gregarious. I know some people find her a bit much, she knows it too and that's fine. You don't have to be close friends with everyone. She's still a warm and very fun person and I love her.

She is actually quite good at getting shy people to come out of their shells a bit. She has a huge heart.

Yorick, just because I like the quote doesn't mean I think people like that are horrible. I have a friend like that.

Now I'm going to have Shaggy Mr Boombastic in my head

I have just checked and it is loud and aggressive people
Sorry about that. The whole poem is inspiring, it’s by Max Ehrmann.

I actually find people who make it some kind of challenge to get shy people to come out of their shell really fucking irritating too. 🤔

Desiderata:

mwkworks.com/desiderata.html

I don't like most people - and that's okay.

I get around the problem by only actually making friends with people who I can, indeed, have meaningful conversations with. Not bothered with only having a handful because I do genuinely enjoy the people I'm around.

I'll also freely admit that I could arguably earn some 10-20 percent more if I changed jobs - but I won't because I'm in the privileged position of having a boss whom I genuinely like, a boss' boss whom I don't dislike and a team of people working under me whom I've hand-selected and thus like, too.

Life's too short to be wasted on people you don't enjoy being around.

As I've got older, my circle of trust has grown deeper but smaller.

Many people are insincere and weak and side with the " bully " in life. I have found adults to be worse at this than children.

Thankfully I live by the motto , " What other people think of you is none of your business".
I love my children, partner, family and a few friends. That's enough.

I hate people too.

I recently had to dump a work friend because I couldnt deal with seeing her at least 6 times a day! It got to the point where she wanted to spend every lunch together, get the train together and would visit me in reception at least 4 times throughout the day!

It sounds so harsh and now there is an awkward silence when she comes in and out of the building (im the receptionist) but I feel SO relieved.

I just dont have the tolerance for people.

Yorick, just because I like the quote doesn't mean I think people like that are horrible.

Of course not. It's just a part of the poem that I don't agree with. I like Desiderata, it's popular for a reason and it's a lovely concept, but that doesn't mean I agree with every last thing it says, that's all.

I'm very sure that a lot of people on this thread wouldn't care for this friend of mine. As I said, she is not everyone's cup of tea, she knows it, she accepts it. She is a very strong personality and strong personalities don't usually appeal to everybody. That's fine, she doesn't like everybody she meets either. But even people who find her a bit too much would be hard pushed to say anything actually BAD about her, because she's got an enormous heart and she's kind and warm towards everybody. You could describe her as loud and noisy, but that's just who she is, and she's a million other things too that are much more important.

It takes all sorts to make a world.

A few things she absolutely is not, though: hateful, hostile or with a misplaced sense of superiority.

Imagine deciding that you hate people in general because you have one clingy friend or you don't like reading about people's careers on a professional networking site. That's just loopy.

Your friendships are as good and as meaningful and as joyful as you want them to be. Like any relationship you need to invest in them, you need to care about people, to care what they are up to, to be interested (hopefully) in mutual things, to do kind and thoughtful things for them, be the first to contact them at times, make sure you remember important details, go out of your way sometimes.
If you can't be bothered, even if you don't say this, it will be apparent in your interactions and therefore will be impacting the quality of your friendships (thus self perpetuating).