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Original poster

Why does my child's father change my baby clothes when has him?

81 replies

Lucoxox · 17/04/2018 15:26

Hi all,

So my DS is 13 weeks old I am not with the dad anymore and everytime he has our son at his house with his parents they change him out of his clothes everytime and dress them in their own clothes they brought, I see it on fb I will dress him in nice jeans and top then I will find pictures of my DS in their own baby clothes.. then when he brings DS home hes back in the clothes i dressed him in, anyone had this problem before? Think it's to spite me cause im not on good terms with him or his parents.. I find changing the clothes really weird behaviour!

OP posts:
MrsICantSayMyName · 17/04/2018 15:29

I have similar it is so weird it is like because we brought them something they can't wear it like it disgusts them

regularbutpanickingabit · 17/04/2018 15:30

It’s fine, they want to see the baby in the clothes they bought or were gifted. Just like you do. They change the baby back for you and so what happens when they have your DS is really up to them. It’s not like they are sending him back to you in their clothes. Honestly, it’s not that weird.

DalmatianSpring · 17/04/2018 15:31

I don't really get why this is a problem? They probably just don't really like your taste in clothes.

NewLevelsOfTiredness · 17/04/2018 15:31

Don't many grandparents (and presumably many dads) like the experience of buying cute clothes for their little baby grandchildren?

It doesn't seem that weird to me. Obviously since their son is no longer with you they just get that little window of opportunity to experience it.

lexi873 · 17/04/2018 15:31

Maybe they just like to see him in the clothes they’ve picked for him and that is their chance to do so when they have him.
I’d hardly call it a “problem” OP, more of a problem would be them not having any interest in seeing him or buying anything for him surely!

blackteasplease · 17/04/2018 15:31

It's weird but probably not harming anyone at the end of the day Don't rise to it!

It's personal taste becuase my babies would have been in babygros or very soft clothes rather than jeans at that age. Neither of us is right or wrong!

PandaPieForTea · 17/04/2018 15:32

What makes you think this is a problem?

Justwaitingforaline · 17/04/2018 15:32

Maybe he just likes to dress the baby in different clothes to you or does so to avoid getting the ones you sent dirty and doesn’t have to wash them?

HirplesWithHaggis · 17/04/2018 15:32

Agree with regular, they're taking photos of him in clothes they bought, or were gifted to them by friends and family. Don't you do that - pop on a cardie knitted by Great Aunt Effie just for the photo?

blackteasplease · 17/04/2018 15:32

And I only say weird because I would.be too lazy to change a baby's clothes unless they needed it!

OakIsBetterTho · 17/04/2018 15:34

Maybe they don't like the clothes you put him in? Personally I don't much care for tiny babies in jeans. It doesn't matter. It doesn't affect you. Don't sweat the small stuff.

junebirthdaygirl · 17/04/2018 15:38

They are probably afraid to send him back in dirty clothes sp keep hour ones clean. Maybe you would complain if his clothes were dirty.
But mainly its because they love dressing him up..

Doyoumind · 17/04/2018 15:38

I agree, it's because they've bought him clothes and want to see him in them. I don't think there's a problem.

My ex buys DC horrible, really cheap looking clothes and keeps putting them on when they are far too small for them. I don't like the idea of my DC being dressed like this but there's nothing I can do about it so I say nothing. Hopefully DC will get to an age soon when they refuse to wear them.

lattewith3shotsplease · 17/04/2018 15:40

OP,
Maybe to stop your clothes getting messy ?
With their clothes they can let DS get as messy as he wants.
To cut down on your washing ?

As long as DS is returned dressed don't worry. Smile

Brakebackcyclebot · 17/04/2018 15:41

OP, in the grand scheme of things, is this really important? And do you have any degree of control over it?

If the answer to these questions is no, then let it go.

Focus on the positives. Is your son well taken care of? IS he happy ? These questions are way more important, surely?

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 17/04/2018 15:42

I don't think this is weird. Otherwise when they wash the clothes you send he baby in, the clothes will all get mixed up between your house and theirs... am sure there are some 'specials' clothes/presents you want to keep that you don't want to lose hold of?

Really can't see the issue.

Original poster
Lucoxox · 17/04/2018 15:42

Can I just say they puts him in just two sleepsuits which look very tight on him.. so there not dressing him to show off the new clothes they brought him cause it's two sleepsuits? Just feel sorry for my son getting messed about with get changed as he doesn't like it much and normally cries!

OP posts:
Redglitter · 17/04/2018 15:44

I agree with pp as tho why they do it. Can't see why its a problem. Considering they are good enough to put him back in the clothes you sent him in it's hardly being done to spite you. In fact if you weren't looking at his fb page you wouldn't even know would you. Hardly the actions of spiteful people. If it bothers you stay off his fb page

Trinity66 · 17/04/2018 15:46

I really don't get the problem here, you get your clothes back, why does it matter, they probably just want to buy him stuff

userabcname · 17/04/2018 15:47

Oh perhaps they don't like the top and jeans combo? DH hates DS wearing separate tops and bottoms as he says it looks uncomfy, it's more hassle to change and the top scrunches up all the time. As a result DS was always in sleepsuits or babygros until he became mobile and now is in long sleeved bodysuits and joggers to avoid the top scrunching up thing. May well just be personal preference.

Bottled · 17/04/2018 15:50

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

FreshStartToday · 17/04/2018 15:57

They may be afraid of sending him home in mucky clothes, so put their own on and then wash them for the next visit. You get the clothes you bought home reasonably clean.

Or it may be that they are being petty. However, there are bigger battles ahead (like when they don't send home the clothes he went in/his bookbag or homework for school/his winter coat and wellies . . . . ) Smile and pretend not to notice now, so that you are the reasonable one, then you can pick your battles/genuinely complain if it is something causing real inconvenience.

Best of luck

GnotherGnu · 17/04/2018 15:57

In your shoes, I'd be quite grateful that the clothes I supplied weren't getting worn out/messed up.

User24689 · 17/04/2018 15:59

I don't see why this is a problem at all. I often dress my baby up for photos if someone sends me an outfit - sometimes it's the only time he wears the clothes!

Could also be they just dont like him in the clothes you sent. Personally I wouldn't dress a 13 week old in jeans for example, I think I just had my own babies in baby grows at that age because it was easier and comfortable.

The fact they are changing him back again shows they aren't doing it to make a point or piss you off. I would honestly let it go.

Aprilmightbemynewname · 17/04/2018 16:01

Ime it's because they are playing at being the ones who make decisions regarding the baby. (not that ex can't - just saying)
Send in pj's in future, save time in the morning!!