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Original poster

Why does my child's father change my baby clothes when has him?

81 replies

Lucoxox · 17/04/2018 15:26

Hi all,

So my DS is 13 weeks old I am not with the dad anymore and everytime he has our son at his house with his parents they change him out of his clothes everytime and dress them in their own clothes they brought, I see it on fb I will dress him in nice jeans and top then I will find pictures of my DS in their own baby clothes.. then when he brings DS home hes back in the clothes i dressed him in, anyone had this problem before? Think it's to spite me cause im not on good terms with him or his parents.. I find changing the clothes really weird behaviour!

OP posts:
catkind · 17/04/2018 16:01

Sounds like a great habit to get into for contact. So many separated parents complain about sending clothes and them never coming back, or other parent never providing anything. This way you get back the outfit you sent, no confusion with one thing getting dirty and going in the wash and dad's outfit coming back instead and who owns what.

It's probably in my head but I didn't like them in jeans at that age. Either they are rougher cotton or they're lined with jersey and so very thick and a bit constricting of movement. So perhaps your ex feels the same.

What makes you think sleepsuits are too tight? It's hard to fit sleepsuits tight, the poppers just come undone. Are you sure it's not just that you're used to a baggier top-and-trousers look?

Lucked · 17/04/2018 16:03

Well I preferred sleepsuits over jeans on little babies, not sure I would go as far as to change them but I don’t see the problem. Maybe to keep the clothes clean.

Don’t mention it!

MysweetAudrina · 17/04/2018 16:03

Much better than sending him over in lovely clothes and never seeing them again which I imagine is a more common problem.

Nicknacky · 17/04/2018 16:03

I’m not seeing why this is a problem. It’s his baby too and he wants to buy clothes and dress him, just like you do.

Allthebestnamesareused · 17/04/2018 16:05

I am another one who wouldn't put a baby i denim. When dss used to stay we woukd put him in clothes we had at ours to keep his stuff clean and send him back i what he arrived in. It was so we coukd just do the laundry at our leisure.

Believe me if your ds came home after every visit with a bag full of dirty laundry for you to do you'd find that annoying.

Accept that they want him to wear different stuff to what you want and that on the upside your clothes won't get trashed.

AfricanPlume · 17/04/2018 16:06

Does anyone smoke in your house?

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 17/04/2018 16:06

When my first child was 13 weeks old I probably would have been annoyed by this. Now I wouldn't even notice- if it bothers you, don't look at the photos they take.
As others have said, keep your powder dry for the important stuff. Maintaining a relationship with his father and grandparents is a good thing for your son and it's great that they all seem to want that.
Have you spoken to your ex about the clothes?

3stonedown · 17/04/2018 16:09

Wouldn't bother me either. People like to see babies in clothes they brought. To be fair at 12 weeks a sleepsuit is more comfortable than jeans so I can see why he does it

AccidentallyRunToWindsor · 17/04/2018 16:11

Not odd at all. My DSC have clothes got their mums house and clothes for ours- always have done.

LadyPenelope68 · 17/04/2018 16:13

Don’t see the issue personally. He’s you ex’s child as well, perhaps he wants to choose clothes for him, not have him in what you’ve chosen.

Cuppaoftea · 17/04/2018 16:16

I wouldn't like it, he's not a doll is he!

As long as it stops before he becomes aware when older.

HoneyBadger32 · 17/04/2018 16:18

if you are a nightmare parent I can imagine they change the baby so he is sent back in clean clothes in case you have a go? I know a few people who do this when they have shared residency

PrettyLittIeThing · 17/04/2018 16:21

You post about problems with your babies father literally constantly! And each time it gets more petty than the last. Most people don't like babies in jeans so maybe that's why.

PrettyLittIeThing · 17/04/2018 16:21

Tbh I think you will find fault in whatever he does.

PandaPieForTea · 17/04/2018 16:26

I’d change him out of jeans - babies look much more comfortable in sleepsuits.

MyDcAreMarvel · 17/04/2018 16:27

Jeans are really uncomfortable for babies and look a bit ridiculous . I imagine he just wants his baby to be comfortable.

Iamallatsea · 17/04/2018 16:31

I’m a grandma who keeps clothes at my house for my granddaughter. I don’t pounce on the poor child and strip her clothes off the minute she arrives I usually wait til a nappy change and change her then. It is not a reflection on what her mum puts her in it’s just that I find some clothes easier for nappy changes and my granddaughter tends to make a lot of mess at meal times (she tends to stay for 24 hrs) It also helps reduce washing for her mum. I always put her back in her own clothes to go home, sometimes she has gone home in “my” clothes cause we have gone through a few necessary changes. I just buy a new low cost set to keep at my house for next time.

crunchymint · 17/04/2018 16:34

I wouldn't like to have a 13 week old in jeans and would probably change him into a baby grow as well.
So you both have different ideas about what a 13 week old should wear. Does it matter?

Flexoset · 17/04/2018 16:37

Wow, this is a whole new definition of the word "problem."

slippersaremyfriend · 17/04/2018 16:40

My DS dad does this - he hasn't got any clothes of his own tho, they're provided by me but makes a point of changing DS (14months) into different trousers or something stating (angrily) that he "kept shitting himself" or "possibly himself" like how dare a young child do that and it's putting him out massively. Heaven forbid ex should actually change his nappy let alone his clothes. He then makes a point of handing them back to me in a nappy bag (again provided by me)

upsideup · 17/04/2018 16:46

anyone had this problem before?

No, they havent as it isnt a problem.

slippersaremyfriend · 17/04/2018 16:48

Possibly was meant to be pissing in my post Blush

rainbowstardrops · 17/04/2018 17:14

I really wouldn't have a problem. If your partner had majority of the custody, wouldn't you want to dress them in 'your' clothes? I would

Charolais · 17/04/2018 17:14

Jeans on a 3 month old baby? Maybe they wanted to make him comfortable.

CranberryVodka · 17/04/2018 17:32

I agree with the others this isn't anything to get upset about or make an issue of. In fact stop trying to create a problem where there isn't one and just be grateful he's in your child life!

I've just read a thread which almost brought me to tears (not projecting) about a deadbeat dad who constantly lets his children down. Grow up and stay off their facebooks - sometimes we really are our own worse enemy by over analyzing etc.