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Original poster

Would your DP do this??

105 replies

Neveragain12 · 13/04/2018 09:06

So we don't live together and both have children..

Last night I sliced my finger open on a can and it was pumping blood out and wouldn't stop.
I messaged my so to say if it didn't stop soon, I may need to get it looked at so would he drive me to a&e.

His response was "get one of your friends to look at it, seriously other wise I won't get to bed until 3am as we'll have to wait 5 hrs.... what a joke I drive myself when I hurt my finger"

I explained that at that time I wouldn't have been able to drive and actually I just wanted his support. I'd also asked his sister in law if she was free to go and st with his boys which she was.... but he would not come.

Would your do be there for you in a heartbeat? Even if it was something little?

OP posts:
ShinyShooney · 13/04/2018 10:11

You sound a bit drama lama. Is this a regular occurrence?

What support is required for a cut finger?

And it stopped on its own so can't have been that bad. If I was asked to babysit someones kids because they had to support their DP with a paper cut then I'd think they were a joke.

TinyTino · 13/04/2018 10:12

DP sat in A&E with me almost all night once, though it was for slightly more than a cut finger. Did you really cut it badly enough on a can to require stitches? That must have required some force! Can you post a pic of said finger?

I think it would be different if you had cut your finger off but unless DP lived with me and had no children to care for that day I would probably get a bus or taxi there myself... or even shove a big plaster on it and drive!

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 13/04/2018 10:13

I think you over-reacted to be honest, it's a cut finger. I'd have probably replied similar, and would not have been impressed if you'd contacted my SiL to arrange babysitting without me knowing. That's totally overstepping the mark.

DragonsAndCakes · 13/04/2018 10:16

If I was a bit shaken and needing company enough to ask DH, he’d be straight there.

What happened when your DP hurt his finger though?

Zaphodsotherhead · 13/04/2018 10:17

I regularly cut myself on cans - it hurts like mad and there's a lot of blood. I think you were in shock, OP, and you rang your partner for moral support rather than actual. Maybe if you'd phrased it as 'just tell me I don't need to go to hospital and it will be okay' he would have come through for you. Was he speaking calmly to you to try to make you see that you were overreacting in your shock, or was he tutting and impatient?

KarmaStar · 13/04/2018 10:17

Er,op,you need to dump this waste of space.
A loving partner would have come asap.
You deserve way more than him.
I hope your finger isn't too sore.

Bluntness100 · 13/04/2018 10:19

A bit shaken because you minorly cut your finger on a can and need your husband there for company? Seriously? How do you get through the day?

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 13/04/2018 10:19

If I needed DP, he'd be there, whether or not he thought I was overreacting. I have every belief he'd come anyway.

But if he was neither loving or attentive, I wouldn't expect that he'd become either of those things if I hurt myself...

Are you with him because you're quite isolated without him? was there anyone other than him who could have taken you, or SIL who could have looked after the kids?

Trinity66 · 13/04/2018 10:19

Oh Dear :/

kingjofferyworksintescos · 13/04/2018 10:19

More likely it would be my DP insisting I got myself treated than me suggesting and would defiantly go with me if I wanted him to however I would be unlikely to ring him at night wanting to go and get a cut finger treated at a&e

without knowing either of you or your previous history I might say maybe he needs to step up and be a bit more caring and perhaps you need to evaluate situations better with less drama.

diddl · 13/04/2018 10:20

So he was at his home with his kids & someone else would have had to be involved to look after them?

I think that you shouldn't have even asked him tbh.

That's not to say that his response might not have been unnecessarily nasty though.

dirtybadger · 13/04/2018 10:21

I misread OP I think. I read it as she contacted her SIL (a siblings wife) to babysit her kids. Not contacted DPs sister to babysit his kids. That does make it weird and a bit intrusive, asking before he had even said he was going to come.

RatherBeRiding · 13/04/2018 10:22

For a cut finger I'd bandage it tightly and drive myself. I certainly wouldn't expect someone who doesn't live with me - who is looking after his children - to arrange to get someone in to watch his children, drive over to mine, then drive me to A&E, sit there for hours, get back in the wee small hours (when presumably his child-sitter will also have to get themselves back home) etc etc.

How far away from you does he live? However, even if it was the next street I honestly wouldn't be expecting someone to go to such lengths just for a cut finger.

On the other hand his response was a bit off - he could have been a bit more thoughtful - suggest you apply a very tight bandage then see how you feel, kind of thing.

SootyandMathew · 13/04/2018 10:23

I once cut myself on a can - to the bone!! Had to go to a&e and get stitches. Have a beautiful scar and a numbness around it.

It can happen.

xLeanne128 · 13/04/2018 10:24

I went through my finger with bread knife, straight through nerve and it bled for over 24hours. This was months ago and it's still not right now (numb finger and lumped scar) I didn't go to a and e (should of done really) but husband offered right away and then later on in the evening when it was still bleeding. No matter what scenario were there for each other through everything x

3stonedown · 13/04/2018 10:26

If that had happened to me DP would be insisting on taking me to have it looked at whilst I told him not to be dramatic and it would be fine

Juells · 13/04/2018 10:26

A bit much that you phoned his SiL to babysit his children, before asking him.

I'm afraid you sound like a bit of a drama queen.

ReanimatedSGB · 13/04/2018 10:27

It depends how often you phone him up whining about minor stuff, tbh.
I mean, I don't think you're compatible, by the sound of it, but he may not be a total prick, either. If you're always wailing and asking for him to drop everything and come and blow your nose for you, maybe he's just had enough.

Karigan1 · 13/04/2018 10:30

I had to go to A&E recently. It was a wait of 10 hours would you believe it. My DP not only took me but was an absolute star running out to get food (we missed dinner) a few hours in when we realised how long a wait it would be. He stayed with me until 6am when I sent him home as I had to stay on a drip for a few hours. He was back by 11am after a few hours sleep checking how I was and bringing me something to eat in case the hospital food was awful. He’s even packed a bag so I could shower and change.

So no he wouldn’t.

Bluntness100 · 13/04/2018 10:34

If you were on a drip you were not there because you had a minor cut to your finger. I think your situations are not comparible.

Karigan1 · 13/04/2018 10:36

Ahhh but they were at the beginning. I went in for something that looked minor but turned out to be worse than it looked. You don’t need details but let’s just say I was half minded to just take an ibuprofen and go to bed.

5BlueHydrangea · 13/04/2018 10:37

I think it's his attitude that's the problem, not the fact how badly you cut your finger. If you were worried enough to ask him for help then surely he could have been at the very least more sympathetic on a text. Better still call you to ask if you're ok and find out more info. He sounds very condescending and rude. I would be seriously considering the future of the relationship after this.
How is he otherwise? Have you been together long?

physicskate · 13/04/2018 10:39

I think it boils down to this: you wanted/ needed him to be there and he didn't want to be there for you.

We don't now ow bad the cut was. I don't do well with blood and so if it was a bad enough cut to even consider a and e, I'd probably be feeling a bit woozy by that point.

My dh had been a bit unwell for a couple weeks with man flu. We think he had a bit of a panic attack/ trouble breathing. He said could I ring 111 or take him to a and e late at night. He hadn't even finished the sentence before I was dressed and on the phone. Not because it was an emergency (it wasn't really) but because he was obviously distressed and asked me to.

FailingTheBoyfriendExam · 13/04/2018 10:43

A year or so back, I cut a finger very deeply on a sharp knife when washing up. It bled a lot, and I seriously considered A&E.
Even my ex-girlfriend (split up about a year before) offered to take me to A&E when I told her what I'd done by text.

Hogtini · 13/04/2018 10:46

If that happened to me I would have told DP to stay at home. Mine stayed at home when I fractured my elbow - I told him to (he did offer to come many times) because I wanted him to be there with the dog and it turned out I was there for 8 hours so pointless him being there.

If it was an unknown/serious/emergency ailment he would be there.