One piece of advice ...

[Catmatrat]

If you could give someone starting out a new relationship one piece of advice what would it be?

Don’t be too available.
If someone is overly affectionate and all over you, excessively complimenting you before knowing you properly it is not a positive it is a red flag.
Carry on as normal with your life and put nothing on hold for the other person e.g hobbies, friends, holidays etc..
It is not exclusive until you have spoken about it.

Echo all the people who said:

• if there are issues during the honeymoon period, it'll only get worse
• lots of "crazy exs" is a huge red flag
• doesn't see/ pay for his kids, run a mile
• you can't change them

Someone also once told me that no matter how much you put in, you can only ever be 50% of a relationship. If they don't bring the other 50% you will never be able to make up the difference.

If he bad mouths his ex calling her a physco and such like chances are it was him with the problem not her!!

Know yourself really well and love yourself alot before getting involved with anyone else

Brilliant thread!

It shouldn’t be hard work

Trust your instincts and your gut, don’t ignore red flags

Don’t settle. You both deserve better.

However nice somebody may be, however kind, generous, keen on you, however hard they work, however hard their life has been, you do not owe them a relationship. They may say they can't live without you but that doesn't oblige you to live with them. Give them a chance to grow on you if you think it may happen, but don't hang on out of pity or obligation. You're not doing either of yourselves a favour flogging that dead horse.

Second: don't play mind games. PP have suggested things to look out for, but don't manufacture the opportunities, eg saying no to sex just so you can see how they'll react, or blowing up after a hard day at work to test how supportive they can be. Be yourself, be honest (though tactful!), and expect no less in return. The first time you catch them lying, or being in a mood just to get them to run after you, it's time to head for the hills.

Find someone that loves you. Don't chase someone that you want to love you

Actions speak louder than words.

I think "don't be too available" is really good advice too.

Take one day at a time.
Don’t go to bed angry with each other.
You are not his mother.