Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dry Babes Just Starting

161 replies

babycow38 · 11/04/2018 01:03

Hello, I'm wanting to start to put the booze on the back burner, start to live life without it, I've perhaps like you posted on the Brave Battle Bus but because they have been going so long felt a bit "not in the club" so am starting our own stay sober thread, absolutely nothing wrong with Brave Battles just think I needed a brand new place to start with women who have lurked and have felt overwhelmed.
This thread is for you if you feel you are drinking too much, too wrong, or just don't like how you are with the drink.
Let's have an honest, non judgemental place here x

OP posts:
ferriswheel · 27/04/2018 11:33

I like life much better without alcohol. Im looking to find a new way to distress. Before kids id have gone out to exercise. Im thinking of getting a new hobby. Any suggestions?

Great thread.

ScabbyHorse · 27/04/2018 13:23

Hi ferris wheel
Learn guitar?

ferriswheel · 27/04/2018 17:38

Great idea but i tried that once. Sooo difficult!

8SaltandVinegar · 27/04/2018 19:50

Big massive fail for me today. So disappointed with myself. I moderated though?!

ScabbyHorse · 29/04/2018 15:13

Me too. Had about four pints last night. Confused
Oh well. Comes with working in pubs I guess?

PosyFossilsShoes · 29/04/2018 20:20

Bit of a faily few days. I've had enough, alcohol doesn't feel like a treat any more. About to sit down with dinner and I can feel the fridge calling, but I'm making a cup of tea instead.

I'm signing up for a half marathon and that should help keep me away from the booze for a while!

littlepill · 30/04/2018 08:50

Very, very , very, very daily few days.
It feels hopeless. Boring.

littlepill · 30/04/2018 08:50

FAILY urgh wtf!

8SaltandVinegar · 30/04/2018 14:20

Well I met up with a friend Saturday night. We meet half way as we live 2 hours apart. We drank until very late Saturday night in the hotel and then all Sunday afternoon. I feel like death today. Angry But I don't have the guilt, I enjoyed my weekend with my friend.

Mortallie · 01/05/2018 16:27

Hi all, I've been a long time poster but NC for this as I want to see it as a fresh start name, too.

I've been reading the Brave Babes thread on and off for a long time but didn't bother posting because it was so established. I have had problems with alcohol since i could legally drink.I always thought I could take it or leave it but I know now that I was only fooling myself.

I am coming out of the end of a complete nervous breakdown due to various things that completely rocked my marriage and caused us to separate. There is far more to it all, but alcohol was a huge part of the problem and 6 months later my DH is willing to give us another chance so I want to do with for both of us. I have been referred for Alcohol addiction help and am also getting counselling on top of that for mental health issues.

It's actually been 4 days since I last drank alcohol, but that's only because I have a kidney infection and I am on Antibiotics! My main worries are that after I come off them I will be tempted and that when I am out with other people ill be tempted.

Sorry for waffling on. But that's why I am here, to help others and seek support myself.

8SaltandVinegar · 01/05/2018 16:57

@Mortallie I'll hold your hand. I'm in a shit shit place right now. All because of alcohol....

We can do this.

ScabbyHorse · 01/05/2018 16:58

Hello mortallie It sounds like a great idea for you. Sending support.

Mortallie · 01/05/2018 19:35

SaltandVinegar Holds hand I'm sorry you are in the same boat as me. It's so hard sometimes to resist temptation, but you are right. We CAN do this and we WILL do it Smile

Scabby thank you for the support. Looking forward to supporting you and others through this ordeal.

Sometimes I wonder why Alcohol isn't illegal.

8SaltandVinegar · 02/05/2018 05:59

@mortallie I've often wondered the same. It kills so many people. Delighted you have a supportive partner. It's hard for a family member of someone suffering with a dependency on alcohol.

I'd a glass/nearly a bottle of wine last night and it was after midnight. So tomorrow will be AF DAY 1 for me. Blush

I need to get a hobby.

CiderwithBuda · 02/05/2018 06:05

I’m still here. Did great last week Mon to Thurs when DH was away but then he came back! Keep saying I’ll just have a glass or two but it ends up being far more. Been awake since 3 again. And I have a UTI so shouldn’t be drinking anyway. But I did.

I am NOT drinking tonight. Really wish DH would have a few alcohol free nights as it would help so much.

8SaltandVinegar · 02/05/2018 06:11

Well done @Cider

Have you spoken to your hubby and explain you'd like to cut down the drinking nights, even by half? Maybe you could organise a nice foodie night and scrap the alcohol.

For myself I'm hoping this post and posters will help me get out of this hole.

CiderwithBuda · 02/05/2018 07:32

He knows. He’s great in most other ways. But come cooking time his default is to have a drink. If I say I’m not he will ask if I mind if he does. He had beer on Monday which doesn’t bother me but then opened wine. And I just had to have one. Which turned into two. Which wasn’t too bad but I just should be able to say no.

Last night we ended up with a friend of DS’s here for dinner and used that as an excuse for a g&t and then a silly amount of wine.

Mortallie · 03/05/2018 08:55

SaltandVinegar a hobby would definitely be a worthy distraction. I have started studying in preparation for Uni in October. It helps that they want an admissions essay before we start the course.

Cider it's so much harder when you are around someone who wants to drink. Have you said to him that his drinking leaves you struggling to stop yourself and hat, actually, you DO mind if he drinks in front of you? Or maybe ask him to stick to things you won't drink, like the beer.

How is everyone doing today? I am doing OK. I haven't had a drink in 5 days. I think tonight as the kids are at DH's will be a big test. I have to go to the supermarket later after my first counselling session and how I feel will depend on how tempted I am to grab a bottle.

It doesn't help that they have a wall of special offers on alcohol as soon as you walk through the doors Angry

CiderwithBuda · 03/05/2018 11:01

Much better night last night although I did drink. I had three-quarters of a g&t and then a glass and a half of red wine.

DH does often drink things I don’t like. Doesn’t stop me then wanting stuff I DO like!

I need to adjust my mindset. Just because he is drinking doesn’t mean I have to. As my mother would have said - if he put his hand in the fire would you do the same? Grin

I’m desperately trying to lose weight and I KNOW that I cannot lose weight if I drink.

littlepill · 03/05/2018 15:04

Checking back into the thread because my behaviour has been horrific over the past couple of weeks...
Culminating in a dreadful hangover and crappy day today.
Really bad. I am disgusted with myself.

Arghhh. Need to find my dry self again.

Belindabelle · 03/05/2018 15:46

Its not easy especially coming up to a sunny bank holiday weekend. I have that Friday feeling today as we are all off tomorrow till Tuesday. There is no wine in the house that I like but there is every spirit known to man.

littlepill · 03/05/2018 17:50

Bank holiday will be tough. Lunch with friends on Sunday. At least I am driving. Drinks tomorrow after work. Again, will drive. Then BBQ on Monday but can also drive.

Argh. I have had at least a bottle of wine a night, most nights, since I last posted. I feel ashamed of myself. I'm fat, bloated, lonely. Gross. Have deliberately isolated myself so people can't see how much weight I have put on. This has to stop.

littlepill · 03/05/2018 18:12

Sorry for multiple posts. It's been such a crappy day. Just done the bare minimum. Sweats. Paranoia. Tiredness. Uselessness.

I have to remind myself how bad the hangovers are.

Posting on here made me worse last week, I don't know why.
Was meeting friend last Friday, so set myself target of no wine Mon-Fri.
Sunday binge drank.
Monday 1 glass when out, so drove home, then opened a bottle and drank the lot.
Tues 1 bottle but Babycham (I know, classy! Thought low alc would help)
Weds can't remember
Thurs can't remember, I think it was a bottle of rose 11% over 2 nights
Fri met friend. Had 1.5 small glasses over several hours. Came home. Drank loads more.
WTF!
Sat 1 glass out then half bottle at home
Sun 1 bottle
Mon...

You get the picture. I'm meeting the same friend tomorrow.

At least I've spotted my weakness, right? I go out, have 1 glass, come home. That 1 glass triggers my opening a bottle. I get so pissed that I think I should finish the bottle to 'start afresh' next day.

I don't have my DCs atm, so no school runs & WFH, which then makes it worse.

It HAS to stop. I am wrecking my body.

ScabbyHorse · 03/05/2018 20:20

littlepill it's so hard to remember what the hangover is like when you're about to drink again though, isn't it? I always conveniently 'forget'. Such a strange drug. I have friends too that are dangerous to me drink wise.
I think your plan to be designated driver is good. Can you avoid having alcohol around at home?

littlepill · 03/05/2018 20:48

Thank you, Scabby. Yes, memory plays tricks. I always tell myself the 'reward' from alcohol is higher, stronger, than the risk of hangover, but it's simply not true.

My reasoning is so warped. I told myself last night that I needed to walk for miles, late at night, to get wine. I no longer keep alcohol in the house, and that does help, but it means I drive out to buy it. It's like I am either-or about being alone/lonely/with friends. Think I am just adjusting to the liberty of being alone again.

We MUST remember how horrific, and wasteful, these hangovers are!

Swipe left for the next trending thread