Dry Babes Just Starting

[babycow38]

Hello, I'm wanting to start to put the booze on the back burner, start to live life without it, I've perhaps like you posted on the Brave Battle Bus but because they have been going so long felt a bit "not in the club" so am starting our own stay sober thread, absolutely nothing wrong with Brave Battles just think I needed a brand new place to start with women who have lurked and have felt overwhelmed.
This thread is for you if you feel you are drinking too much, too wrong, or just don't like how you are with the drink.
Let's have an honest, non judgemental place here x

Cider, I am here and awake, too, CIA of booze. I’m sorry. Sending positive thoughts - don’t feel alone. Good that you cancelled lunch. Don’t punish yourself.

CIA? I meant cos of booze...

Are we allowed to make mistakes on this thread? Hope so cos I am the Mistress of Mistakes

I'm with you cider. Haven't managed to sleep at all but rather than I've had too much, because I had a skinful yesterday and only a couple of ciders this evening.
I don't know where I am on this journey, half of me wants to knock it on the head and go alcohol free, the other tells me that once I've got it "under control" I can be a sensible drinker.
The thing that shocks me the most is the tolerance. I won't divulge exactly how much I drink but it's a lot and pretty much every day. Two bottles of wine I could do in an hour or two and be looking for something else. It's disgraceful.
The self-loathing is a kicker too. Remembering times you've embarrassed yourself through drinking and playing them on a reel whilst thinking about what a piece of sh*t you are. I hope that stops soon. As back story both my parents are alcoholics and very enabling. Our whole family is if I really think about it. I don't know. I should be sleeping really, today is going to be a tough one.
Hi all, sorry for the ramble, hope today is a good day for all of us

Little I sometimes have to go back and unpick messages I've sent because there were so many mistakes in them. And that's sober too! Funnily enough any messages I send drunk are usually perfectly worded and spelt (wouldn't want anyone to think I was drunk now, would I...)

Hi notsobeachready

Maybe it doesn’t have to be a journey, just a toe dip into realisingnit is a problem? I am stepping in, gingerly, with few expectations. Am having a shit time and need a crutch. Father is alcoholic here but haven’t spoken for months in Stately-Home mode.

I am meeting a nice man later, good date. Will be our 4th or 5th time & he has been so nice but I feel like a cow as had ONS earlier this week with s/o from my past. Was horrible as it may not even be ONS and I have feelings...

Oh dear. Crap again.

Beach I hear ya! Boozy messages, perfectly worded, sober ones are messed up. I struggle with my phone as I type too fast & it has predictive text.

Was thinking about tolerance cos I have this problem too. Also, I listed my booze but forgot to add that last Fri =1 bottle, Sat-=nil, Sun=1 bottle, etc. It might not be as bad as some but it is vvvvv bad for me. I am getting fat and hate it. Also skint. Arghhhh.

I’ve tried to start by tricking myself and buying 11% rose instead of 13.5% red. And leaving a bit in the bottle. Has got to be good, yes?

I need to join. Wide awake after bottle of red tonight. Hate the sleep disruption. I did 30 days of dry Jan so I know I can do it.

Someone mentioned books. This naked mind by Annie Grace is highly recommended... anyone read it?

Oh dear little, that does sound like a bit of a head spinner :( have you ever contemplated being in a relationship with ONS? Try and put it at the back of your mind, date tonight and it could all be leading to something fantastic.

Agree with the weight gain also. I try crash diets, slimming world, everything. I can easily not eat a jot for two or three days but I absolutely still have to have wine in the evenings, so working it out I'm just replacing my calorie intake with alcohol. Absolutely daft.
I never used to drink either, once in a blue moon perhaps. If I go back 6 years I would have preferred a big mug of tea and an equally big slice of cake while watching tv of an evening rather than anything alcoholic. It's insipid though, isn't it? I used to absolutely hate being drunk and the punishment my head would give me the next day. Now I don't know if I just don't have hangovers or I just vary in levels of feeling crap that I wouldn't notice one anyway.
It's just all crap and I need to take action. So glad this thread has been started, it feels like more than a coincidence.

Hi wittow :)
I think I've read it, I remember downloading it when I had my last "vow to quit booze" a year or so ago. If I remember rightly it made me feel a lot more positive about where I was with my relationship with alcohol.

Waves too Wittow. Sorry you are suffering, too...

Beach isn’t it interesting to see all the other issues we all have? Parents, food, self-loathing...

Can’t do relationship with ONS. He has demons of his own. Had been NC for months - I started some of the NC threads on here back in the summer. Yes, will try to treat date as a friendship which might develop but the spark is not the same My sex boundaries need to tighten.

Your good patterns sound familiar to me - notvearing for days but getting calories from booze. It must be so bad for us.

Insipid, yes... me too hating drunken punishment.

So, are we going to take action? A day at a time, I guess? My DCs are back this weekend, normally regulated it a bit, and school runs help.

I really really need to join. I'll be back tonight to read through everything xx

I would like to join too please!

Been struggling and want to knock it all on the head. It's now become a crutch as well as a habit.. I gave up for Lent last year and I slept very well but struggled with a very low mood. I want to try again!

Definitely.
Today is day one.
I will not be having a drink today.

Trying to think of something nice to do with DC's in this awful weather that is cheap and not going to the park. Hope everyone else has a great day!

Hi somebody mentioned Annie Grace. I am doing her online experiment. It’s called the alcohol experiment. I’m on day 2 so early days (4 days alcohol free for me).

The online thing is looking really useful. It’s free and I would say it takes about 15-20 minutes a day. Basically you looking at and unpacking various reasons for drinking and learning about how alcohol really affects you. Day 2 is about your sleep patterns and is really interesting. Hold on I’ll get a link...

Here we go
www.alcoholexperiment.com/

Oh by the way - you only put public comment if you want to - it’s a separate section- all your own notes are private. I may be back to hang out. I used to live on mn but I don’t post as much as I used to. Be gentle with yourselves you beautiful babes

Still that's really helpful, I'll have a nose through in the morning.

How's everyone been today?

Add me in! I'm actually sitting on the bathroom floor right now (sadly with a drink) following a row with DP. I loved following the Brave Babes thread but am grateful for the opportunity to make a way in here.. I know I am using drink in a problematic way. I have some considerable issues with depression and anxiety and a bottle o' whatever in the house is a bit like, for me, having a sleep bolt gun in the house that enables me to blank out any shitty feelings and pass out. I'm not a bad social drinker.. a bit oversharey (ugh) and a bit overly friendly when drunk (Not necessarily flirtatious but I apparently get 'intense' and form 'connections' with people over deep and meaningfuls).. but my real issue is drinking alone and using that to pass out and bypass shitty emotions.
Apologies for the rather verbose introduction.. Just grateful for a sounding board. And I'd rather like to get rid of the old 'beer fear too (what my dad used to call 'involuntary lifestyle analysis' ie the hideous post booze depression and anxiety that hits you the next day!)

Also I probably should add, in light of being a self confessed oversharer and to be honest about issues that in the past eighteen months I've experienced three or four total blackouts.. which have to be the most pantshittingly terrifying thing. What worries me is that, mid blackout, I can and have seemed to those around me to be totally compus mentus. Ergh. Over and out.

Itsnot I hear ya Very sorry fr your tough time. Hope we can all sound out on here when it gets tough. Love the name: involuntary lifestyle analysis.

I had what you describe earlier this week. Was tough - actually was plied with alcohol to the extent I blanked out. I consented to everything, but had massive blanks in my mind. The rest of the week was so-so.

How has everyone else been? I had a good evening. 2 small glasses of wine over a good 5 hours on a date. Home now and another small glass. Not feeling too pissed, but just like I could unwind.

Itsnot I hope you can find an even keel for the next few days. Trying to cut down, maybe? I am like you, use it to blank out shitty feelings and even the D&Ms are similar. I have ASD and am constant emotionally seared. Running might help me tomorrow. It is a battle...

Please tell me to get lost if you wish as I guess I have no place here as no drink problem but I have been fascinated reading your posts and I really wanted to say that I think you are all very brave and positive.

Can't really imagine how hard it must be for you yet you are all trying your best to get this under control and I just wanted to say well done and keep going because you can do it

Thanks Whydo. That’s nice if you to take the time to comment.

I don’t generally think I use alcohol as a crutch but if something stressful happens I use it as an excuse to have a drink. I have been known to overshare too. I’m a very open person anyway so drunken oversharing can be definitely a cause for regret. I also get a bit loud. Embarrassing to recall sometimes.

My main issue is drinking at home with DH though. We have always done it. That’s what I need to tackle.

Last night wasn’t alcohol free but it was ok. A gin and tonic while DH was cooking which I drank slowly. Then we shared a bottle of red. I had said to DH that I wasn’t taking wine into the sitting room after dinner so we just finished the bottle we had with dinner and then I cleared up and we both took water in to the sitting room. I had a couple of glasses of water and a mint tea. Slept well.

Aiming to do the same tonight and then nothing until next weekend.

Littlepill - being plies with alcohol doesn’t sound good. Hope you are ok.

I wanted to pop in and say hello.

I haven't had a drink for 5 weeks. Just decided I wanted to stop for a while to try and get to a rebalance with alcohol as I was concerned that it was becoming a problem and I didn't want to get to the stage where I had to stop for medical reasons.

I don't drink everyday but I find it really hard to stop drinking on the days I do. I definitely regularly go way over 14 units a week.

Weekends were hard to start with but once I had done about 2 weeks I found it relatively easy. going cold turkey was easier for me than trying to cut down.

Now I have a dilemma as I am off out tonight to a friends house for a small gathering. Not sure if I should just go and try and drink moderately to test myself. Go and pretend to drink alcohol. Don't think this will work as there are only a few people going. Go and use the 'antibiotic' excuse. Go and be a grown up and just say I am not drinking. Or not go!

Any thoughts? I don't particularly want to explain to everyone why I have decided to stop drinking. I am not even sure that I do want to stop totally. I just feel that a need a break from it for a while and I am not sure that 5 weeks has been long enough.

I suppose driving wouldn’t be an option? If it was you’d have said so!

Difficult one. I think I would just say I wasn’t drinking. But it depends on your friends. I think most people are aware of others cutting down etc. Depends if they would try and talk you out if it. If they would then I would go for the antibiotics excuse. I was once on antibiotics for a sever urine infection and was warned not to drink. Went to a dinner party and had a fantastic night. Friends husband is very funny and was on form that night and I remember crying laughing. And the not drinking means I actually remember it being a brilliant night.

can i join too please,
my drinking has got out of control since sept and i seem to be on a self destructive path .
using alcohol to self medicate to keep me calm and help me sleep.