Would you date a man...

[PrettyLittIeThing]

That doesn't work? (Just wondering.)

If it were a choice, no but I’ve never met anyone that chooses to be unemployed.

Not in a million years

Noooooooooooooo ,who actually would.

So what is he actually living on? JSA (or UC) won't be paying for a house, hobbies, a car, food...it's practically subsistence. Which means he's living in a shared house (or worse, with his parents), not driving, with no hobbies and eating whatever he can afford.

Which doesn't exactly make him sound like 'catch of the century' does it? I can only assume these other women that he's beating off with a stick are even worse off, and therefore he looks like a good prospect!

Has he said why he’s like this??

I agree with PP that arguing with you about it is worse.

He doesn't have a car or drive. He has his own place but I guess he gets housing benefit. I'm not sure what he eats but he seems to go to the pub a lot. I know he spends a lot of time with his cousin who maybe pays for him at the pub, I don't know. I'm not too sure why he's like it he just basically said he wouldn't work in a supermarket or anything like that but obviously doesn't have the qualifications to do much else.

I bet he tends to be attracted to women who are earning and can therefore improve his lifestyle.

I wouldn't dream of dating him - he's lazy, selfish and entitled.

Fuck no! I have zero respect for those who choose this lifestyle. Why should I have to subsidise a leech? Plus I like the lifestyle a double income allows.

He sounds utterly unappealing.

Just tell him to come back to you when he's got a job. He either will or he won't.

No chance.

It would depend so much. Would he be a liability to me / my children if we merged lives?

I have dated two artist types and they were both massively enthused by their passions and were quirky individuals and good company. True individuals. But no I was in no rush to make enjoying their good company any more formal. In fact with the first one, he was angry when I finished things.

I would need somebody to understand how busy I was, how precious my time that I was giving to them was. It's not all just down to money and worrying that they'll pull your own ship underwater.

Ugh a catch he is not. I have every sympathy for those who find themselves out of work, I've been on IS and JSA myself a couplw of times in my life. As a lifestyle choice however hell to the no. It's entitlement at it's finest.

Agree with others that his telling you that your decision is wrong is .......... That is not an attractive trait in a man.

That sounds manipulative. Telling what the right thing to think is.

No. Do you want to spend the rest of your working years either living at a JSA level or subsidizing his life?

Honestly the more you share about this man the less I understand why you would even consider him? If you want a project, decorate a room. You can't fix a feckless man.

he thinks it's wrong that I turned him down for this reason and said that it's not put any women off before

Ah, I missed this bit. Well I'm sure he's right. Women are socialized to try to improve men. The ones that fail eventually move on. (And of course you do get female JSA "scammers" too. Not that I really see it as a scam. If you don't want to work I think you should still be able to claim a small amount to live on. It's just a sad path through life...)

Not for me I am afraid. I don't worry about what a man earns but would expect him to be working if there was no reason not to be.

No! Not in a million years! Hth

Why don't you show him this thread, OP? Would he say that all of us who have commented are 'ball breaking bitches who only want a man for his sperm?' or something similar? Do you think?

Because to me he sounds like he might be that sort of man, and you have dodged an entire fire-fight's worth of bullets.

I wouldn't give him the time of day, much less date him.

Definitely - no - a man to be avoided at all costs. Spending so much time in the pub also raises questions. I prefer an equal partner that I can respect.

I wouldn’t have entertained going out with someone who didn’t have any ambition to work unless it was a valid reason such as health.

My db seems to go out with woman who don’t work have no intention of working and I don’t understand how he can cdo ntinually date women who have no drive or ambition.

If you don't want to work I think you should still be able to claim a small amount to live on

Really? Why?

No. Why would I want my children to see a person with no work ethic? That's assuming he's choosing not to work rather than being unable to work due to health or disability. It's easy to get a job where I live.