Would you date a man...

[PrettyLittIeThing]

That doesn't work? (Just wondering.)

What does he do with his time?

Maybe if he was super hot and really really good in bed I might consider a sex only arrangement but knock it on the head if he starts Angling to move in

Unless there were special circumstances, absolutely not. The resentment at getting up at 6am, knowing they are laying in bed, would be too much

Absolutely not. I like my men with drive and ambition to match my own.

Maybe if he was super hot and really really good in bed I might consider a sex only arrangement but knock it on the head if he starts Angling to move in

Absoloute genius!

As a lifestyle choice no. Personally it demonstrates a lack of drive and downright laziness. I've not worked hard to get where I am to carry someone that cannot be bothered to do the same.

I wouldn't, but not because of the money or because he's lazy but like forumdonkey says, he's he boring. Where would he go, what would he do, who would he talk to/about? I couldn't be with someone who wasn't interested in the world or had no passion for anything.

There was me thinking it was some Hugh Grant type "about a boy" situation.

Rather than a lazy benefit scrounging cock womble

I did, briefly; he had health issues and couldn't return to his physically demanding job. I found he was very insular, without a network of colleagues and friends. He became very disinterested in the outside world, and his views became very black and white. The longer he was out of work, the more bitter he became about the years he had spent working. He was barely surviving on benefits. His self-esteem was on the floor. Last I heard he was retraining in a completely different career, which I hope opens his mind and his circle of friends, as his isolation fuelled his misery.

No. Unless he was really rich and didn’t need to work but even then it would be strange if he didn’t do anything at all.

Able bodied,healthy and choosing not to work as a lifestyle choice - no. Presumably he’s not caring for an elderly relative or similar? Benefits are for people who need them. If he was so rich he didn’t need to work, well fine, he’s entitled to make that choice as it’s not impacting on anyone else.

Having said that, I would not have told him that was the reason for not dating him.

I've dated a couple of men who were long term unemployed for health reasons and I've dated some men who worked hard but didn't earn a great deal (which was absolutely fine with me) but I don't think I could ever be in a committed relationship with someone who claimed benefits as a lifestyle choice.

Can you imagine going out the door at 6.30 every day, ready for a commute to work, a full eight hours then a commute home, while he rolled over and went back to sleep simply because he didn't feel like earning his own money? How resentful would you end up feeling? He wouldn't be your partner. He'd be your dependant.

It's an utter piss take. He thinks he's entitled to receive money without having to work for it and he also seems to be under the impression that he's entitled to question why you'd find that an unattractive quality in a man. That's an awful lot of entitlement floating about with not much justification for it.

Having said that, I would not have told him that was the reason for not dating him. I would. I doubt it would prompt him to have much of a think about his laziness, his sense of entitlement or his fundamental dishonesty in claiming Jobseekers when he has no intention of ever actually seeking a job, but he should be aware that not everybody finds his lifestyle choice particularly attractive.

Goodness me. Three pages in and not one “but maybe he’s depressed” post yet??? MN I’m proud of you 😌

And I agree...he’s a lazy, piss-taking bludger.

I wouldn't personally judge him for his choice but I don't think a relationship with someone in that position would work unless you are also in that position.

I would. How desperately unattractive that would be. Even Hugh Grant in About A Boy knew he was an unattractive prospect, and he had money.

Nope no chance!

No way, he is making a lifestyle choice by choosing not to work and choosing to claim benefits. And to pp who mentioned they would date a PhD student (who didn't work), they do work very hard, the hours they put into their research and thesis is admirable.

Nice to know our taxes are funding someone's lifestyle.. No I wouldn't as I can't stand lazy people or people who expect others to fund them as they can't get off their backsides.

starlight your situation sounds awful. Have you talked to him?
I think you need your own thread
Re op. Someone who is entitled and arrogant regardless of career Is a no for me. Most of the wankers women post about on here work. It's attitude that matters

No, he'd never have money to do anything fun, he'd probably be lazy in other ways and his entitlement both in the choice to live off benefits and in having the neck to argue why I said no would be a red flag. Nope.

Probably less About a boy and more about sitting in the pub every night .

Not someone I'd chose to have in my life at all, stinks of everything that pisses me off about the benefits system allowing lazy fuckers be even more lazy

So no, not a snowballs chance in hell

If this man wants to know why you turned him down the answer is obvious, you are incompatible, he has no ambition, no desire to get on in life, and you do

I wonder if he would want to date a woman who had a similar attitude to him?

I wouldn't. I've worked really hard for my career and am a very ambitious person, so we just wouldn't be compatible. I don't think I'd even consider someone that unmotivated as someone to date. If there's a genuine reason why they're unemployed - e.g redundancy, health isssues, etc. then I could understand that. If they're still a motivated person then the lack of income wouldn't put me off, but if they just can't be bothered to work then they're not my type at all.