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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Terrible parenting

146 replies

Sunnyday1203 · 26/03/2018 13:14

So enjoying a boozy Sunday lunch with DP in our local when 2 sets ofyoung parents rock up with 2 babies and a toddler. One of mums decides to park her poor baby in a high chair in the middle of the bar where she stayed for a good hour whilst said mother chucked her crisps and left her alone several times whilst going outside for a fag. During this time the dad became more and more drunk and loud. They then moved to dining area next to us and his language was appalling, calling his Gf and fucking C**t, stupid bitch amongst other things because she changed the babies nappy on one of the dining tables. Seriously you could not make it up. ( did ask the bar staff to clean the table as thought it was disgusting. ) It was truly horrible to witness, that baby must have sat in the high chair for nearly 3 hours. Whilst they sat there getting pissed. My DP was getting very upset. When they finally left and passed our table DP comments that he thought they should be ashamed. So all hell lets loose and drunk dad launched himself at my DP and a fight ensued. Eventually it spills out onto the street and DP takes a photo of their car as baby now strapped in the back and the dad was driving. .So am I over reacting and this this behaviour is absolutely disgusting.?

OP posts:
AssassinatedBeauty · 27/03/2018 16:52

Well, you did rather condone it, because you decided that it wasn't worth reporting to anyone.

Not a single poster here would disagree that these parents were parenting badly. I also wonder, like others, what the point of posting about them was.

Lizzie48 · 27/03/2018 16:56

I'm not sure what you want us to say, OP. Yes of course it's terrible parenting, you won't find anyone disagreeing with you there (the crisps are irrelevant here as you don't know what their little one normally eats).

But you can't expect much sympathy for your OH. He didn't need to say anything; it would have been better to phone the police about the drink driving, since he clearly did have a phone.

Sunnyday1203 · 27/03/2018 16:57

Oh for god sake I had no idea he was driving, they were a party of 4 the other dad seemed very together . I am not there to police other drinkers, it all happened so quickly and he wenthere were lots of people involved trying defuse the situation. I think his sister was doing her best to stop him and getting nowhere I had no chance and the umpteenth time I had no mobile because there is no reception there.

OP posts:
Adora10 · 27/03/2018 17:00

So all hell lets loose and drunk dad launched himself at my DP and a fight ensued. Eventually it spills out onto the street and DP takes a photo of their car as baby now strapped in the back and the dad was driving.

But yet you had no idea he was driving...Confused

Your OH sounds as bad as them.

Angelf1sh · 27/03/2018 17:04

Of course you knew he was driving, your DP took a photo of the car! You’ve just chosen to come here to bitch about them rather than doing the responsible thing and call the police. Yes it would have been after the event, but it was the right thing to do. Posting on MN in the hopes of getting people to flatter your ego however, not so much.

Lizzie48 · 27/03/2018 17:05

Drip feed about the lack of reception now. It must have been obvious they were both over the limit! There's usually enough signal to make a 999 call, or someone could ask to use the landline.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 27/03/2018 17:06

You saw him drive off. What was the point of this thread?

Angelf1sh · 27/03/2018 17:08

Oh and as for this I am not there to police other drinkers, what exactly were you doing when you and your DP decided to make a smart arsed comment?

Lastly, it wasn’t last night OP, it was Sunday lunch you told us so you’ve had 48 hours in which you could have called the police, the last 24 of which has been full of people telling you to do just that and yet you haven’t so I can only conclude that a) you’re as bad as they are or b) you’re full of it and none of this ever happened Hmm

shesalady · 27/03/2018 17:24

They all got in a car together. So an angry, drunk man who was was 'totally incapable of looking after a baby' drove off with three other adults, two babies and a toddler?

Lizzie48 · 27/03/2018 17:31

You also don't see the contradiction, that you comment on the toddler being given crisps to eat but don't seem to care about the drink driving? The two are not comparable at all, yet the latter got tagged on at the end of the thread as if it was of no consequence.

LARLARLAND · 27/03/2018 18:37

I think I am living in a parallel universe when some people think the OP and her DP are just as bad as the parents who change nappies on a restaurant table and drink drive with their dc in the car.

Angelf1sh · 27/03/2018 18:40

People who let others drink drive with young children in the car and don’t report it to the police when they could easily do so, are just as bad as those who drink drive IMO yes.

LARLARLAND · 27/03/2018 18:41

That is absolute rubbish Angelf1sh

Angelf1sh · 27/03/2018 18:44

No it’s not rubbish, it is my opinion. At least the drunk person has their mental faculties impaired but the OP is (presumably soberly) repeatedly refusing to do anything about two (arguably three) crimes she witnessed and instead just wants to bitch about the perpetrators. If she really cared about the kids, she should report it.

Lizzie48 · 27/03/2018 18:46

It's not that the OP and her DP are as bad. We're all agreed that it was terrible parenting. But then she makes a fuss about a toddler eating crisps but tags on at the end the information that the dad drove the car drunk and didn't think they should have reported it to the police??

LARLARLAND · 27/03/2018 19:01

Are you for real Angelf1sh? It may be your opinion but it is grossly unfair to the OP.

Cornishclio · 27/03/2018 19:05

Yes it is terrible parenting but sadly there are people who parent like this. Ridiculous you are being blasted for not calling the police though. you are not there to police others behaviour just presumably trying to enjoy lunch out. none of us know who is driving and who is not and to be honest if you challenge some of these people you are likely to be turned on as your DP was. Changing a baby on a pub table is disgusting.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 27/03/2018 19:10

How is it unfair? The man could have crashed his car and killed himself, his baby and other innocent people. Anyone seeing someone get in a car knowing they are drunk and do nothing are really in the wrong imo.

shesalady · 27/03/2018 19:14

@Cornishclio she said she saw the drunk guy driving. Hmm

And he DID challenge the guy. And calling the police wouldn't have been challenging anyone.

Cornishclio · 27/03/2018 19:18

shesalady

Oh for god sake I had no idea he was driving, they were a party of 4 the other dad seemed very together .

shesalady · 27/03/2018 19:20

"Eventually it spills out onto the street and DP takes a photo of their car as baby now strapped in the back and the dad was driving."

In the very first post. RTFT. Hmm

shesalady · 27/03/2018 19:21

Also "Also drove a car whilst drunk with a small baby.."

shesalady · 27/03/2018 19:22

Also "Dad was totally incapable of looking after the baby."

Op is changing the story.

I wish people would read the thread.

Lizzie48 · 27/03/2018 19:25

I just can't work out what the OP wants us to say. Yes, it was lousy parenting, obviously, and the dad got drunk and abusive. And then he drove off drunk.

And she's concerned about the toddler eating crisps??

DamsonOnThisDress · 27/03/2018 19:36

Well, they do contain a lot of saturated fats. Confused