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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Terrible parenting

146 replies

Sunnyday1203 · 26/03/2018 13:14

So enjoying a boozy Sunday lunch with DP in our local when 2 sets ofyoung parents rock up with 2 babies and a toddler. One of mums decides to park her poor baby in a high chair in the middle of the bar where she stayed for a good hour whilst said mother chucked her crisps and left her alone several times whilst going outside for a fag. During this time the dad became more and more drunk and loud. They then moved to dining area next to us and his language was appalling, calling his Gf and fucking C**t, stupid bitch amongst other things because she changed the babies nappy on one of the dining tables. Seriously you could not make it up. ( did ask the bar staff to clean the table as thought it was disgusting. ) It was truly horrible to witness, that baby must have sat in the high chair for nearly 3 hours. Whilst they sat there getting pissed. My DP was getting very upset. When they finally left and passed our table DP comments that he thought they should be ashamed. So all hell lets loose and drunk dad launched himself at my DP and a fight ensued. Eventually it spills out onto the street and DP takes a photo of their car as baby now strapped in the back and the dad was driving. .So am I over reacting and this this behaviour is absolutely disgusting.?

OP posts:

SrDuess · 27/03/2018 07:32

Extremely selfish! Poor child

Onelasttime94 · 27/03/2018 07:41

You should have phoned the police and social services. They are disgusting parents yes! But feeding their child crisps isn't disgusting. Getting arseholed and driving while they had babies is.
One thing though being young doesn't make your parenting bad so don't know why you felt the need to disclose that.
Regardless if he was violent and a fight broke out the police should have been called anyway.

Original poster

Sunnyday1203 · 27/03/2018 11:51

one if the police were called out everytime a fight broke out that is actually laughable oh dear what world do you live in, . I don't blame my DP for making a comment ( he called them a disgrace) they had been acting like assholes for several hours. I think this reinforces why I think children/babies in bar is not on. This is a family pub where children are very welcome to come and eat
, but the bar area can get very rowdy I am getting a bit fed up with being tarred a bad person because I did not call social services, it is a Sunday we trying to enjoy our afternoon minding our own business. I had no idea the dad was going to drive until the did. He is known by the locals and they were all saying he is trouble At the time I was concerned for my DP who was just viciously attacked. I was not thinking straight. Oh and yes I do think feeding a baby crisps is not on, sorry call me old fashioned.

OP posts:

LARLARLAND · 27/03/2018 11:58

You're not to blame OP and your DP was absolutely correct to call them a disgrace. It's a weird world when people defend pissed up crap parents and attack you for objecting to their behavior.

Original poster

Sunnyday1203 · 27/03/2018 12:02

Exactly Larlar Saying I am as much in the wrong is ridiculous . Even when she changed the baby's nappy on the table I quietly asked bar staff to clean the table, absolutely disgusting, she did not even use a change mat. These parents are a disgrace, my DP is right. He is in a lot of pain now for that comment. The bloke was a big farmer type. As much as my DP thinks he is a tough guy he is now 55 years old.

OP posts:

Onelasttime94 · 27/03/2018 12:10

If your partner got attack then you should phone the police what world do you live in!
My brother is a police officer and he will tell you exactly the same. The man is clearly a danger to public. So no it's not laughable.
You weren't in the wrong but to say a parent is a bad parent for giving a child a packet of crisps is. Don't get me wrong if that is all they are fed all day, the yes. But dont be so ridiculous!
Like I say getting arseholed and driving and beimg violent round a child is every reason to called social services and the police for crying out loud.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 27/03/2018 12:12

if the police were called out everytime a fight broke out that is actually laughable oh dear what world do you live in

You should have called the police regarding the man driving off drunk with his baby in the car not because of the fight!

Original poster

Sunnyday1203 · 27/03/2018 13:04

alaughing at you not the man in question. it is clearly is a dick. So your brother is a policeman so that gives you what knowledge? I bet you live in a city. I am not responsible for these peoples actions, the fight was dealt with, even if I had wanted to call the police I had no phone as I said at this point I was concerned about my partner.

OP posts:

Angelf1sh · 27/03/2018 13:14

Why did your DP take a photo then if you didn’t subsequently phone the police? What was the point?

I think the man had absolutely no right to attack your DP but I’d say he shouldn’t be surprised it happened if he was as drunk as you say. I also don’t get why people make such comments when someone is walking out the door, it seems cowardly to me - you get to make your point in the hopes that they will just continue on their way out. If he genuinely felt that something needed saying, why not address it (the crisps/nappy etc) whilst it was happening? It’s similar to posting on here about it really, it feels like point scoring to me.

To be honest, and I fully appreciate that you will not care a jot about this, I’m judging you and your DP as much as I’m judging the man for his 2x criminal behaviour (giving the kid crisps is really neither here nor there and the nappy business was up to the bar staff to address).

Onelasttime94 · 27/03/2018 13:42

Yes it does give me knowledge and city or not the man is a danger to his own kids

Sometimeitrains · 27/03/2018 13:53

Still not clear what you hope to get out of posting this on a relationships bored or indeed posting it at all

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 27/03/2018 14:01

You could still go to the police with the photo of the car OP?

Original poster

Sunnyday1203 · 27/03/2018 14:18

one yes I agree though I really do not see it as my place but if I seem some of the same I will make a call. Great I am going to speak with someone who is sensible who knows these people and decide from there. sometimes are you the BOARD police?

OP posts:

Lizzie48 · 27/03/2018 14:19

You should definitely have called the police about the drink driving, suppose there had been a serious accident with their baby in the car. You could still do that, using the photo of the car. And you should also call SS.

This thread would be more appropriate on AIBU than on Relationships tbh.

Original poster

Sunnyday1203 · 27/03/2018 14:31

Lizzie yes true. I often post on this thread as the traffic is good. some interesting views actually

OP posts:

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 27/03/2018 14:35

Scrap the sensible person and ring the police.

Original poster

Sunnyday1203 · 27/03/2018 14:39

great and say what seriously? I actually think his gf should d that, she is also being abused. Honestly the whole thing is disgusting and upsetting

OP posts:

Mollyboboff · 27/03/2018 14:40

Been a mn for awhile but name changed for this. My sister has been married for 12 years, has a couple of kids, bobs along as the majority of us do with the typical everyday stuff of life etc etc. Both work, neither go out very often. She infact doesn't really go out. He might go the the gym or out for a drink with mates but think easily less than once a month. Suddenly he's had a personality change. Wants to know what's she's doing all the time. Had cancelled his social media and thinks she should do the same. Moody at home with her and the children. Hyper critical of everything in home and with her. Whats happened ?

Mollyboboff · 27/03/2018 14:41

Stupid me - wrong place sorry !

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 27/03/2018 14:51

Why did you take the photo?

Original poster

Sunnyday1203 · 27/03/2018 14:54

I did not take a photo as I did not have my mobile as I have mentioned several times. DP took photo of the guy so will ask him think for the very reason that he wanted proof maybe,but saying that where is the proof that this guy was drunk. If you see what I mean.

OP posts:

AuntLydia · 27/03/2018 15:06

Yeah, you really should call the police. Drink driving is illegal and so is being in charge of a child under the age of 8 when you're drunk. God knows what kind of life that baby has and if nobody reports what's happening to any authorities they will continue to live that life.

DamsonOnThisDress · 27/03/2018 15:07

Yes, I do know what you mean.

I had thought about saying you should phone the police (now) and say you saw something on Sunday you were concerned about - child, drinking, fighting, drink driving - in the hope they would at least flag it up with Social Services or Child Services as I think they're called now (?) but without a charge I'm not sure they would. And I'm not sure they'd be able to charge in retrospect as alcohol out of system.

I'd probably still report though. They may investigate using staff/patron eyewitness statements and CCTV.

This may be a one off with the family but it wouldn't do any harm to try the police or social services in case the child should be on their radar. Worth a try.

NFATR · 27/03/2018 15:09

if the police were called out everytime a fight broke out that is actually laughable oh dear what world do you live in

I live in one where fights don't ever break out around me. I dread to think where the fuck you live!

DamsonOnThisDress · 27/03/2018 15:10

That post was as clear as mud. Sorry.

To clarify, I would ring to report your concerns - police and especially social services. It'll do no harm and may put a child in need on the radar.

If not necessary nothing is lost.

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