New boyfriend just went totally ballistic

[Scornedwoman67]

Need your advice please ladies...
Been seeing this bloke for a couple of months. He's 55 so not a child! Last week he lost his job. He works in finance, successful career behind him. Divorced with two teenagers, one lives with him. Appears to get on ok with the ex.
I had noticed a couple of times he'd been a bit 'tetchy' about impending job loss which was brought about, so he told me, by a new office manager he'd crossed swords with. She had accused him of 'being aggressive' which he appeared to be really genuinely shocked & surprised by. Fast forward to this week, he had a meeting with his boss at which it turned out that one of his colleagues who he had considered a friend, had backed up her version of events.
I haven't seen him since Monday but obviously we have kept in regular contact & I have been really supportive & tried to be as helpful/understanding as I can.
This morning he messages me to say he was feeling down. I'm at work so send him a big virtual hug & offer to meet him for lunch.
Ten minutes later I get a random message which says ' I want xxx (colleague) sorted out'
I replied 'what do you mean by that?'
What followed has utterly astonished me. A tirade of aggressive texts, saying how he wants to basically flatten this bloke, how unsupportive I am, don't understand, am passive (because I said violence is not the answer) and eventually finished off with 'ok ta ta then have a nice life with your cats'
WTAF??
How can someone intelligent & with an apparently successful career and two kids etc go from appearing quite normal to behaving like a five year-old?
He has not apologised- in fact this evening he's carried on ranting because I've been 'ignoring' him this afternoon.
Nope, just at work & not putting up with his shit. He doesn't seem to have any comprehension that his messages were utterly OTT and even slightly sinister.
I'm flabbergasted. Every single bloke I've met in the past ten tears ends up with either more baggage than Gatwick Airport or, as appears here, is a complete psycho.
Assume the general consensus here will be that I bin him fast....?
I'm so fed up as yet another one bites the dust.

Well I think its obvious who was telling the truth about the work thing....he only managed to hide it from you for a couple of months. Ugh!

"Tata" to him!

close call.
block him and don't see him again,

Yep. Run away. You’ve been given an early warning... run

It sounds like his office manager was right.

Well, it certainly sounds like he's downplayed this incident at work that's cost him his job. Especially considering his friend is backing up the manager.

A tirade of aggressive texts, saying how he wants to basically flatten this bloke, how unsupportive I am, don't understand, am passive (because I said violence is not the answer) and eventually finished off with 'ok ta ta then have a nice life with your cats'

Yep, red flag.

Huge red flag.
Don’t be despondent, be thankful you got it so early

Jesus, run away very fast

Can you block his number? He sounds unhinged, and his work colleagues are definitely in the right about his behaviour!

Oh God. You're all so right.
Where, oh where, are the normal ones?
The ones who don't lie, don't cheat or for that matter have any other massive character flaws?
It's a serious question that as I get older I feel genuinely sad about and perplexed by.

Great early escape here!
Sorry he turned out to be a dick though, it’s rubbish for you.

Bullet dodged

Right ?

Keep ignoring.
You've had a lucky escape but it's understandably upsetting that there seem to be so many weird guys about.

AF - thanks. You're right. As always
What's the answer? Live on a desert island? Convent? 🤔

Pleas block him OP. Sounds like this is your ticket out of this relationship. No prizes for guessing why he’s lost his job.

No excuse for his behaviour, but its obvious he is very stressed.

There’s a irony to him denying he is aggressive, then responding by being extremely aggressive!

If this is what he’s like early on, I would be very worried about what he could be like when the honeymoon period is over! You’ll need to block him (phone, social media etc) because otherwise I suspect you’ll get a tirade of angry messages aimed a you.

Wow he sounds so ANGRY.

An angry man. Bullet dodged.

faith you're spot on... oh the irony. I just can't get my head around (and it's making me question my own judgement) how he seemed so normal until today.
I consider myself fairly level-headed & astute. How do they do it?

Ps when he realises he went to far and has no job and no gf, and texts some half hearted apology, tell him you're busy with your JOB and your cats.

Wow, after all those aggressive texts he was annoyed you weren't texting him back. Psycho.

Its lucky he lost his job so early on in your relationship because youve seen how badly he reacts to stress and how he acts out on the people nearest to him, before youve made any deeper commitment. Run for the hills while you can!! At 55 this will be well and truly ingrained behaviour. You honestly dont need that. What if you ended up living together further down the line and something stressful happend? Would you be expected to just put up with torrents of abuse?

I get losing your job is stressful and he might be a little snappy or emotional or whatever but full on aggressively ranting at a partner and not even acknowledging how unhinged he is being, or apologising, is just never ever okay.

I dated a man who seemed nice until i corrected him. He was wrong though.

He sounds like a nutcase.
He is agressive
....He says "ta ta."

RUN

Christ almighty run away faster than usain bolt! This man child is seriously deranged

The way he dismisses you, it's as if he thinks you've gone off on one at him. He's probably a perpetual victim too.