Break Out The Red Flag Bunting, It's Dating Thread 131

[VetOnCall]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

You know, i might just intersperse that .gif with the Gahan dancing ahem

ignoring sorry about your dog. Hope we’re all helping make you smile a bit

Do you guys have any advice on which sites to use? I've only used Tinder as I wasn't taking it too seriously but that seems to only deliver FWB which I've been ok with but might actually like to date properly now.

Maybe it's my profile pics but I do seem to attract the type that want bedroom antics only!

One particularly memorable one was the professional male dom who was interested as I "looked like I'd put up a bit of a fight".

Also people... I don’t know where you’re all finding these irons you want to talk to, just swiping through Match and my selection all look like they’re crimewatch mugshots.. oh dear. Maybe I need to move to a different area?

techgirl totally know what you mean about mugshots! Tinder is like criminal centrale and I’m in London - dire!

Wondered if you all had an opinion on this - two dates, second date MB. And now he’s saying he’s always horny - sorry to be crude, is that a red flag or him being honest? No third date on horizon yet - trying to weigh him up!

popple thats a red flag to me. the word “horny” is too familiar to me. i wouldnt want a guy using it unless we were full on in a relationship.

otherwise it just makes me think ew.

popple that would be a red flag to me. I don't find it a particularly nice word. Ex-h used to say it and I didn't like it then. But maybe give him one chance to see what he's like? Perhaps it's just a word he uses, like many men, without thinking.

ignorning so sorry to hear about your dog. That's so sad.

Right, I'm down to two irons, but I have concerns about one.

Mr Clown - he has been full on from the start in that he's made it very clear he's looking for a serious relationship. He thinks I'm great, very different, great attitude, etc. He's really chatty, not inappropriate at all and seems friendly and genuine. I've told him I'm not looking for anything serious ~and I'm hankering after lovely Mr TV~ but he's very persistent. He says he'll take things slowly and just wants to meet me for coffee, dog walks, etc. He's not talking to anyone else because he likes me. What do I do? He actually seems nice, but this feels a bit intense. I'm seeing Mr TV tomorrow and he's lovely and a lot less pushy. Help!!

Tom Listen to your instincts. Mr Clown already sounds pushy and a tad desperate which is a massive no-go for me. Sounds like the kind of person where if you gave him 1 date he'd be stuck like a limpet to you. I say no.

Just catching up on the thread ... my anxiety has been playing up a bit this week and worried about ruining the thing I have going on with the guy I met on OLD. Currently sitting on my hands so I don't text him first today

SilverdaleGlen I have only ever used Tinder and although many on there are just there for FWB you can find some who are after more. I paid for Tinder Gold for one month before Christmas and I think I preferred it because I could actually see who had swiped for me first and then make a decision. Although it did take some of the fun of not knowing away.

Silverdale there are a lot on Tinder who are just after FWB but usually they're upfront about it.

I got half price on Match and while it is slower than POF, I've had some nice dates from it - unfortunately they weren't nice enough to make me want to see them again.

Tom Mr Clown would annoy me by being so intense. Have you met him? I'd question how genuine he was if you haven't met.

popple I hate the word horny, makes me cringe. Tell him you don't like it.

Techgirl don't move near me! They all wear hi-vis and look like they've escaped from prison.

Vet I've PM'd you my profile link if you have a chance to look at, thanks

Today's top 15 recommended matches on POF

1. Ask??
2. Criminal who can't spell
3. Looks ok but not interested in women older than him
4. No photo - says he "wood like to meet sumone"
5. Fill in later
6. He's drinking/partying in all his photos
7. Topless bedroom photo
8. Have messaged, no reply
9. One blurry sideways photo
10. Messaged, no reply
11. Messaged, no reply
12. Fill in later
13. Topless criminal in hi-vis
14. Looks ok, but not interested in women over 45 (he's 48)
15. Ask?

Is it any wonder I'm ready to give up.

Smeaton I don't get why people join dating sites and don't put some effort into their profiles at all. "ask me" is just lazy and a lot of the photos are dreadful. I often wonder if they actually manage to get any dates.

I think some people don’t put in much effort as they are on there to be nosey (no intention of really dating), the ones with no photos I always assume are married or in a relationship. I don’t bother with the ones that say ‘will fill this in later’ or ‘ask?’, also not interested in the ones that list what they are looking for down to shoe size, dress size and hair colour.

Runs your post just makes me realise how much I’m enjoying my break from POF, I’m not sure how long I will last (hopefully a month). I’m spending a lot more time doing things around the house that I have been putting off for months/years .

The 'ask me' just makes me think that either they're lazy, dull or entitled. It puts me right off sending them a message.

Afternoon everyone.

runs . Ive just had a look through my potential match list. Honestly, its about the same as yours. I would also like to add in 'football shirt' to the list. Just NO!

Mr snog was round again last night, not much to report though. I think I just want to kiss him and not much else. Its feeling like FWB and thats not really what I wanted. But its fun for the moment.

So I gave it and text first - just 'I hope you're having a good day' on whatsapp and it hasnt delivered which means his phone is off... I think. He isn't one to normally turn his phone off or let it die so will see what happens. I am friends with him on FB and it says he was online 2 hours ago but nothing since I text. I actually sound crazy.

I also popped to Waitrose in my lunch break and one of the staff members gave me his number, which was a bit of a boost!

Today I’ve already had two repeat “hi” offenders from ten days ago (before I changed my filters) within literally a minute of each other. It’s like they’ve developed some (extremely dull) hive mind 😳

Runs I’ll go and do my POF match list. Which will either make you feel better or you’ll have a companion in misery....

minnie whats the story/history with this iron? i find it hard to keep track!

i texted my iron on saturday, told him to get
in touch when he wants to do something outside the bedroom - still no reply 😂 im not fussed but finding it funny.

keep track of everyones irons, not just yours!

esk1mo been seeing him since Christmas, dates a couple times a week, messages each day albeit not too often. Kept in contact and sent flowers when he was away for three weeks. He genuinely seems like a nice guy. I am not sure whether the issue is more with me or it is something else.

I wish I could be that calm and collected.

Having a shit day. Ex came back last night (we part co-habit) and he's just made me feel really low. So, what did I do? I msg MrGingerNinja and said 'we' are not going anywhere so let's end it. Felt a bit shit as it's his b'day tomorrow! Anyway, he replied basically agreeing. It made me feel really sad, don't mind admitting I cried!
MrWow msg me today and asked if I wanted to chill out with him on Friday as he has a day off. He's really sweet but not looking for a relationship. However, people who don't want a relationship don't pull you into a cuddle and hold your hand in bed do they?
Tech and Runs - same here I'm afraid.
Tom - no harm in meeting MrClown, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

1. 4 photos, 2 of his car. Number plate clearly visible.
2. Photos looking down into camera. Bit scared.
3. Wants “a special lady to enjoy and shear with”. I’m allergic to wool, sadly.
4. Same height as me (5’5”) Tag line is “don’t judge a book buy it’s cover”. Erm, isn’t that what initial attraction is on OLD?
5. Nice photos. Profile includes rant about women being 10 years older than their photos. Angry.
6. 1 blurry photo. If he’s 50 then I’m 30.
7. Tongue out photo. Although “shy”. No and no.
8. Tagline “this is madness” and profile ends “what’s the worst that could happen?” I’ve written my own narrative in between.
9. 20 years younger than stated age. Easily. Plus a “fill in later”

10. Zero in common. I don’t like renovating houses. Or playing squash. 11. Not physically attracted. Plus I’m a bit if people have to tell you they’re sophisticated. 12. Admits stated age is wrong. 13. One sentence profile, half of which is about fishing. 14. Profile photo is the Peaky Blinders. Pretty sure it’s not Cillian Murphy. Bugger. 15. Profile photo is a Mr Man cartoon.

Thanks POF, for considering those “ultra matches” falls onto sword

Minnie go you with Waitrose guy giving you his number! Best thing that happened to me in Waitrose was being asked if I was over 25 when I was buying wine about 3 years ago. I still dine out on that one.
Try not to stress too much re your other iron (soz if I’ve missed his name), but I’d step back for now and if you can, distract yourself.

Third yeah, hate to say it but they can do. If he’s telling you he doesn’t want a relationship believe him, unless and until he explicitly says otherwise. If you DO want one then I’d bin him; he’s drawing your focus and taking up head/heart space.
I don’t think there’s a man alive who’d tell a woman he didn’t want to be in a relationship with her if he secretly did; they’re not that complicated waits to be shot down by male thread members
Sorry you’re feeling sad about MrGN. Time to regroup then get back to it?

minnie it’s quite rare for someone to have their phone off (I know I keep mine on all the time), could he have blocked you? Nothing surprises me anymore, have had several men do this too me (seem really keen and then they vanish). Hopefully I’m wrong and you will get a message back at some point.