Need help leaving once and for all

[Dancetothebeat32]

As I type I am sat with my 2 year old shaking and crying, he has hit me for the last time today, I truly mean it. I am scrawling through women's aid and refuge, waiting for the police to arrive my other 2 children are still in bed I feel like such a failure to them for allowing this to go on for so long

I am starting to get more anxious and jumpy now as it get closer to kicking out time

OP, what do you mean closer to kicking out time? Has he come back to the house? Do you let him in and do not engage with him. This is a police matter and allow them to deal with him.

Are you scared? Make sure that you have the phone with you all the time and try to sleep in the same room with the kids if you are scared.

Be strong! He is not stronger than the police!

Have you locked all your windows and doors. You do not need to live a life scared of a low life like him. Please leave. If not for yourself do it for your children. If he turns up later ring the police!

Can you get something heavy and block the doors if it helps you feel safer tonight? Keep your phone next to you and perhaps a window on the catch so you can hear him? Stay strong.

I was in your situation about 9 years ago i know what your going through but be strong op you are doing the right thing for you and your children. I was in a refuge miles away from where i lived and social services got me out. You will be ok. Pack some stuff and get some id if you can and hide it so you can just grab it when you need to. Refuges are nice places and safe. They will help you every step of the way. You and the children will be fine as you cannot put up with this dv anymore. 9 years later i have rebuilt my life with my dd it can be done ...big hugs to you

I know that I will end up dead if stay with him, he has strangled me before, I am ashamed of myself I really am, I have no life to speak of , I haven't in a long time.... if you knew me you wouldn't believe that I have put up with this for so long, you wouldn't think that I used to have a great network of friends back home..... and now I literally have nobody

I have spoken to them and been as straight as I can about the whole situation, they are just relieved he's gone.
The police came and have red flagged the address, I have the contact number of the DI he's coming tomorrow he has been trying to get him to go to the station since August to interview him about the last incident I actually reported, that was when he battered and strangled me, chased me out of the house when I had nothing but a towel on and ripped it off me in the street, that was over him convinced that I was on dating sites...,..,,. There have been incidents since, just not as severe, still have bruises on my stomache from 2/3 weeks ago, I am literally aching all over after this mornings incident..,.i doubt I will get much sleep to be honest, but my phone will be next to me all night, im just going to ring the police straight off if he shows up

You are strong and you can do this ❤️ you can get a life back that doesn't involve fear and violence. Please believe in yourself ❤️💐

Kicking out time means when the pubs shut, there is no way I would have him in my house!!!! Sorry I should have made myself clearer, I have not engaged with him at all since he rang and I thought it was the NDVH

I know from experience it's not easy to walk away from a violent abusive relationship, there's one moment of clarity and see yourself and what your life has become. OP hold tight to those thoughts, and let them drive your forward to leave this nightmare.

If you get worried about anything in the next few hours ring the police straight away. Don't be afraid or feel ashamed to ask for help from those closest to you. I hid everything away, and when I needed help, I was fortunate enough to get it, they all knew something wasn't right.

Keep posting it will help you unburden your anxiety and worries.

I have the front bedroom and have the window slightly open just to hear any movement up the drive, the rest of the house is secure I've just been downstairs to get some nappies and wipes and re checked, the only damage he could do is to the pane of glass in front the front door,
I am just going to phone the police if he turns up here honestly

Hey just been reading your post. Please don't feel ashamed I've been in a similar situation but didn't have the strength to get the police involved so good for you for doing that. Be proud of yourself you've done the hardest bit by deciding enough is enough. He will probably try and get in touch and apologise, promise to never do anything like it again and all the same old BS. You are better than this and your life will be happy again. You will be strong again and you will be in control of your own life and happiness. Get in touch with the council and ask about housing benefit and they can give you loans and things to get you safe and in your own home. Write down EVERYTHING, go to the doctors so you have evidence of injuries including mental health. But for now possibly contact your family, even if you feel they might not be great when your at rock bottom the only way is up. Keep moving forward you've got this! Good luck and stay strong and be proud of yourself!!!!

Thinking of you Op

Stay strong and ring the police straight away

You can do this for your babies. You can be the real you again there is only him stopping you xxxx

I have no experience of what you arw going through. But wanted to post to say hold on... Tomorrow will come and help will be there, your social worker or dv worker or whoever...and your dad and your friend who said you could ring them anytime... They meant it.
I had a friend in an abusive relationship and I meant it when I said she could ring me anytime anywhere and I'd go and get her.
Even after she'd gone back to him multiple times... Even when she'd cancelled endkess things Cus he'd wanted her too.. I never ever judged her or thought she was weak or a failure.
Your dad wants you away from this man... Ring him... Tell him you need him. Now.
He loves you, your his little girl, their his grandchildren...
Ring your friend, tell them.
People want to help, the more people who know the better... And frankly who cares about the few who judge you... Most won't, most people arw kind and caring.

Thankyou to all of you who have posted and kept me on an even keel today, you don't know how much the words of encouragement and understanding mean to me right now,

I'm going to ring my family member tomorrow when the social worker had been and my travel permit is sorted

I will contact my dad once I have got to hers and let him know I am safe

We'll be thinking of you this weekend, you're being incredibly brave. Tell us when you are physically safe xxx

Hope you have a peaceful night Dance. Well done for getting him out. Am pleased you have some support and a plan. Take care

Another one wishing you good luck and strength OP

Put any bolts you have on the inside of the doors, leave the keys in and locked so he can’t get his key in. Phone the police the second you hear him coming. Good luck, OP, please get out before he kills you :(

He hasn't got any keys to get in I made sure of that, everything is locked and bolted, I haven't heard anything as of yet, there's still time though, if I don't hear anything in the next hour I might just rest a little easier, right now I keep running to the window every time I hear a car thinking he is going to pull up in a taxi......the anxiety I feel right now is just horrendous, thankyou so much for having us in your thoughts, you don't realise how much this is helping me, tomorrow cannot come quick enough for me seriously

Good luck OP

Hope you get some rest tonight & he stays away.

Your so brave.
Sending you hugs & strength.

It is inset day for the high schools tomorrow and the youngest has been in hospital the past week with a severe chest infection and croup, so I've had very little sleep since last Sunday, so all this is just the icing on the cake, I am going to sort the kids stuff out in the morning I've done my essential bag.... it really hurts to move at the minute, I am aching so much, I cannot believe I awake to be honest, but I just can't settle, my mind is just on overdrive

Hope everything is still quiet and you get some rest. You are being so brave